Why I’m not afraid of my 30’s

So, I recently turned 31 and a lot of people see this time as a stressful midline between your “young and fun” 20’s and your “grown and mature” 40’s and is a time where lots of goals are meant to be met by…

I’m not a married, manager with a house and children, but I’m happy and finally realising that goals Need to be personal and not societal, of course, there is crossover and I do want some of those things, such as a home that myself and my partner call our own, but I’m seeing that the timeline is less important.

I celebrated my birthday quietly with good food, family visits and an afternoon tea with my partner, I also saw friends, there’s no “one size fits all” celebration and I’m glad I didn’t feel the pressure to do the big celebration situation.

Right now, we’re approaching the property market with caution, we’re building our relationship and we enjoy the semi-free, semi-responsible lifestyle we’ve created. We love to travel and explore, but our Labrador is usually our other companion these days…

We still go on nights out but we usually find ourselves having conversations in a cosy wine bar or late night restaurant, than hitting the club until three, and that’s genuinely our preference. Not to say the clubs are closed to us, forever though, I still enjoy the occasional dance and shot or two…

I’m in a transition phase with my career, moving away from the hospitality days of my early working life completely, coming through my childcare jobs that college me thought I had to have forever, even though it’s not for me and moving into adult social care, helping people and developing skills that I’ve slowly found great interest in.

My 30s are set to be the most exciting time of my life and I don’t yet know what they contain, I want to travel more, I want to get established in my career and support my partner, friends and family, more than ever. I may end this season of life married with children, I may end it on a paddle board, in an ocean, with my dog and an even deeper desire to see the world and I’m okay with that.

Your 30s are a time to better know yourself, I feel like this is obviously different for everyone, but I know that I wouldn’t have been a good parent or a good manager, I wasn’t even a great homemaker in my 20s, I didn’t know myself or my own desires enough and I needed the freedom that those things don’t necessarily allow.

I felt lost and like there was no path except the one that other people were pointing to, I felt like I wasn’t making my own choices. Now, I feel like I’ve found the path, but I’m more open to detours and changes than ever…

I’m more confident and ready to go out and learn new things, I’ve always loved learning and developing but I didn’t have the confidence to express myself or stand up for myself before now.

I’m more financially prepared for the future and I have enjoyed building savings, renting and learning and developing skills for life, for the home, for work and now I feel like I could put them into place better than in my younger days.

I’m now at a place where I’m ready, but I’m not chasing, we’ll find our dream home, when we’re meant to. I’ll progress in my career, if it’s right for me to do so and I’ll change my status in other ways, when the time comes.

If my 30s are a midline, then I’m only seeing that as positive and full of possibility and I’m excited for it and I’m grateful that I’ve taken my time to get here and I’m going to continue growing through it.

All this to say, whatever stage of life you find yourself in, feel it fully and adapt with it, maybe your time is still coming and that’s completely okay, life begins every day that you wake up with the desire to live, so don’t worry so much about the numbers.

Take care, explore and let life come to you, explore goals and make mistakes and start again, and again and again, if you want to. Don’t let other people cut your path for you, H x