Why I'm Angry About Heard vs Depp

I’ve been closely following the Amber Heard vs Johnny Depp trial and I am furious. Let me tell you why.

I want to believe someone who says they were abused, because who in their right mind would accuse someone of physical, emotional and sexual abuse when it didn’t happen. I didn’t want to immediately discredit Amber Heard because I had liked Johnny Depp as an actor. In domestic violence we want to believe the person who says they were a victim.

After watching all of the testimony so far of both Johnny Depp and Amber Heard, I do not believe that most of what she said happened. Am I an expert? No. However, I have been a victim of domestic violence. I know after being a victim of it, I wouldn’t sit there and stare at my abuser while he was giving testimony. Two years later, I still get anxiety thinking about the possibility of running into him. I get anxiety thinking about ever having to see him again in general. I can’t ever imagine staring him in the face for days with no expression on my face. I wasn’t ever even hit when I experienced my domestic violence.

There is also the issue with so many people testifying that her stories where she states there were witnesses were false. Multiple people. Including the house manager that walked through the entire house and had to clean up all of the damage. He literally found Johnny’s finger in the bar area, with damage to the bar that looked as though a bottle had gotten thrown at it. He testified that there was no damage to paintings as she had stated.

The plane ride to Boston she says Johnny hit her and screamed at her, but everybody that testified that was on board claims that no abuse occurred either way. I believe 2 or 3 people testified that nothing happened on that flight.

All of her pictures were taken by her and nobody else, where Johnny’s were taken by other people. I’m not saying her pictures are fake all though they are suspect to me, but nobody has been able to testify that she actually had bruising, swelling, or redness on her face minus redness from crying.

There is so much evidence, including audio recordings of Amber being the abuser that it is insanity that she is claiming that she didn’t participate at all in physical abuse. Was he completely innocent? No. It was a toxic relationship. Tempers were high, he yelled. He broke things. I’m not saying Johnny did nothing wrong. I’m saying there is no evidence that Johnny physically hit Amber. He definitely did some things that he isn’t proud of, as we all have.

When I was in my toxic relationship, I wasn’t faithful. I’m very ashamed of that fact. It is not something I am proud of. I did what I thought I needed to do in that situation. I don’t know if I wanted to get back at him somehow for controlling me, or if I just wanted to do something that I had control of, or what happened. I hated the person I was when I was with this man. I wasn’t the same person anymore. I was depressed, hateful, pessimistic, just not me anymore. I was made to push myself away from all of my friends and family. I was made to feel alone. All of these things made me a different person.

I believe Johnny Depp became a different person in this relationship. From my personal experience, that happens. You become the worst possible version of yourself. You become someone unrecognizable to yourself and your loved ones. I remembered that I couldn’t remember what happiness felt like. I just remembered being numb, and feeling sad and depressed all the time. I was in a constant state of anxiety, constantly in fight or flight. It changes you.

I’m angry that Amber Heard is up there, and seemingly lying about all of this, because this is going to make other actual victims of domestic violence not want to come forward because of this testimony. I’m angry that this is going to make people think that they won’t be believed. I am angry that someone can lie about things like this.

The trial hasn’t yet concluded, and I understand that. Either way, one person is lying up there, and one person has a hell of a lot more evidence than the other person. Either way, I am angry.