Why Are American Men Looking for Wives Overseas? | The Mail Order Bride Phenomenon

Many men and women want to get married, but they can’t seem to find a decent partner in their home countries.

For example, in the United States, working middle-class men are being snubbed by socially ascendant women. Most of them are struggling to find a wife in the country, so they turn to international marriage agencies to help them find foreign brides.

On the other hand, we have Russian and Ukrainian career women between the ages of 25 to 30 who are also struggling to find a husband in their home country. It has much to do with the gender imbalance and the local culture.

Women in these countries are expected to wed as early as 20. And those who prioritized their career during their youth find it hard to find a husband since most ideal bachelors are already taken, so they sign themselves up to marriage agencies in hopes of meeting a prospective partner.

These men and women then find each other and marry with the help of marriage brokers. One of them moves to the other’s country, builds a life, and starts a family.

This phenomenon is referred to as the Mail Order Bride Industry.

This marriage trend has consistently received backlash from society. News and media outlets have given their opinions and have written countless exposés against it. But despite the social stigma, the industry remains and is growing year by year. And though thriving, many are still skeptical of these international couple’s relationships.

This leads us to the question: What part of this arrangement do people find revolting?

Most of the cynical comments are directed against the ladies.

The Truth About Mail Order Brides

As someone with insider information, I’ve personally interviewed a handful of these ladies. Most of them are bright, traditional, and genuinely want a good man. They are not at all what you would expect. Some have bachelor’s and master’s degrees, can speak more than one language, and are doing well, career-wise.

It’s sad how most people have a preconceived notion of them being visa-hunters, gold-diggers, and opportunists. While a small number of them might have those intentions, it's not right to cluster all of them as one.

Contrary to popular belief, the majority of them are not bad people looking to swindle American men for a green card or their money through a “scam” marriage. These are real women with real feelings, who are putting themselves out there to find love. They genuinely want to find a man who will love them and give them a family.

And American men could give them that life.

The Truth Why Many American Men are Single

“There is a shortage of marriageable men,” says a typical modern-day American woman.

What does that even mean?

They are mostly referring to a man’s “social standing.”

In the United States, there are more college-educated women than men. And most of these women are snubbing men with less education than them. Highly successful career women are also not interested in men who are not their equal in the workforce.

According to scholars Charles Murray and William Wilson, the low earning capacity of less-educated men has played a part in the decline of marriage in the country. Shifts in gender roles and women's increased economic independence have also contributed to the decline.

In other words, American women simply do not want to marry someone from a lower social standing than them. Consequently, many single American men are struggling to find a wife in the country.

Marriage Agencies: A Saving Grace?

The practice of finding mail order brides in the US dates back to 1600s when lonely American men would post ads in newspapers circulated in the East. The advert would contain a marital request – along the lines of “man seeking a wife.”

More often than not, many of these men find success in their search. The interested woman would then migrate to the US, marry the guy, and they would start a family.

Not much has changed in today’s time. However, instead of adverts in newspapers, we now have the internet. There are websites specifically made to facilitate these forms of interactions. And they go by the names “international matchmaking sites” and the infamous “mail order bride sites” – aka marriage agencies.

And like its predecessor, its goal is to help bridge the gap between single and marriage-minded men and women around the globe. Because of them, thousands of international marriages were made possible. Thousands of single American men now have wives. Thousands have been given the chance to build a family.

Average Joe, Seeking Wife

Let me tell you the story of a marriage agency’s typical client – the average Joe.

Joe is single, has a good heart, and is looking for a good wife. But despite putting himself out there, Joe seems to have no luck finding anyone in his locality. The majority of the women in his area are simply not interested in him. And if there was an interested woman, she’s not Joe’s type – she’s not marriage-worthy in his eyes.

Joe is looking for someone who has a traditional mindset. He is looking for a woman whom he can start a family with, someone who can give him kids and help him raise them. He’s looking for a woman with strong family values.

Since it has been difficult for him to find this gem of a woman in America, Joe has decided to broaden his search overseas – in countries where these values are deeply ingrained in the hearts of the people, most especially their women.

Joe saved up for a year so he could afford to join a singles introduction tour in Ukraine. There, he would meet countless women and be given a chance to find a wife.

Meet Joe and countless others like him:

A Chance to Find Love

Once you set aside your prejudice against mail-order brides and international marriage agencies, you’ll find that it’s a beautiful thing. Through them, people are finding love. The men and women who signed themselves up for these arrangements are now starting loving families. They are living their happily-ever-after.