Why American Men Are More Likely to Look For a Bride Elsewhere

It’s always the men, isn't it? Running around with their philandering ways, like sexual nomads crossing oceans, looking to assert their colonizing dominance over innocent, docile cultures.

Sarcasm aside, a question caught my attention in one of my most recent scavenges into the deep ends of internet dating forums.

“Why is it that American men are more likely to look for a foreign spouse, as opposed to American women?”

It got me thinking. Having been to many parts of Asia, you rarely see a white Western woman latched onto the elbows of an ethnic local, parading themselves on the street.

The opposite, however, is a common sight. Head down to a local coastline nightclub and you’ll have flashbacks to wartime Saigon.

So how then does one explain this situation?

In order to do that, let us take a look at three key points to differentiate the attitude of American men and women in the field of foreign dating:

1. Who tends to take more risks?

2. What do they both want?

3. The permeating effects of current pop culture on dating.

Men are more likely to take risks than women

Going to another country to find a wife is a risk. You spend time and money to travel thousands of miles into a place that makes Mars seem “familiar” by comparison.

At worst, you don’t speak the language, are at risk of offending every single local with your presence alone, and are at the mercy of local pickpockets and scam artists, all in the name of finding your one true love - who you “met” over a dating app.

I may be exaggerating, but that sounds like the very definition of risk. In the eyes of a determined man, however, it's a call to adventure.

According to this study in evolutionary psychology, males tend to take more risks than females due to sexual selection. This means that many of their evolutionary traits and behaviors are influenced by their desire to obtain a mate.

A common manifestation of this behavior is the propensity of men for buying fancy cars and getting high-paying jobs. Whether they admit it or not, they want these things because that’s how they attract the girls.

Or how about the classic prince charming story? He traverses through high mountains, treacherous seas, dark forests, and slays the dragon. All that for the sake of the damsel in distress locked up in the tower.

It comes as no surprise, then, that men are more likely to make flamboyant, extensive, and perhaps even foolish efforts to find the woman of their dreams.

American men vs. American women: Who wants what

A study funded by the Immigration and Naturalization Service described the kind of men seeking foreign wives. These men were generally white, highly educated, professionally successful, and politically conservative. Over half of them were married once, and most had religious affiliations.

This in itself paints a very clear picture. The study makes note of the general desire for “traditional values” and for a woman who is happy with being a homemaker, a wife, and a family person.

This general perception almost precludes American women, who are seen to be less content with being wives and seek satisfaction through their personal careers and interests.

So there is a clear divide between what American men want and how American women appeal to these men.

So what does a man do if he has trouble finding what he wants in his own country?

Venture out, of course.

Think of the current state of affairs when it comes to immigration. Most immigrants are economic immigrants - they choose to go to rich countries because there is more economic opportunity there.

Therefore, consider these men as “love” migrants, if such a term is conceivable.

So where do these men go? They go where they can find women who fit their needs and desires - traditional, happy to be wives to their husbands or mothers to their children, perhaps religious, and beautiful or exotic.

This is why American men frequent places like Thailand, the Philippines, Ukraine, Latin America, and so on. And the women there are more than happy to oblige.

The cultural effects of dating in America

Many men complain that American women are becoming harder and harder to date. Perhaps we can offer a hypothesis - they want different things.

The United States’ hard progression towards third wave feminism has pushed away many of what were considered “priorities” for women.

There is a huge movement for the elevation of women to equal or surpass the men by the same metrics - personal success, independence, and achievement. If you ask some of these women if they would like to be married or have children, they would take that as an insult.

One simply cannot ignore the enormous political divide happening in the United States. It has come to the point where dating is done along political lines - many would simply refuse to speak to, much less get romantically involved, with those who do not agree with their politics and ideals.

So in a country with two main political affiliations, one’s dating prospects are basically halved.

Whether or not this is the way of the future is up for debate. What is clear, however, is the gaping divide between what men want versus what women want. And if the men can’t get what they want there, then they adopt the nomadic lifestyle.

On dating apps favoring women

One would surmise that the profusion of swipe-style dating apps will have leveled the playing field for men and women looking for love.

But get this: an article posted on Medium states that the top 78% of women on the most popular app compete for the top 20% of men.

It seems that the playing field is extremely jolted against the men. If the majority of the men remaining are at an extreme disadvantage, then it simply serves them best to look elsewhere - somewhere where they can actually experience a semblance of respect and reverence from a dating prospect.

Don’t get me wrong, we’re not painting men as the woeful victims here. But there are reasons why a significant number of American men are looking to marry foreign women.

Perhaps in the future, the pendulum can swing the other way. But given the factors seen here, that’s not likely to happen anytime soon.