Where Do We Go?

"When an artist dies, I like to think that they return to the cosmic dust and become part of the place where ideas come from." -Gerard Way.

When we die, where do we go? We talk about death as though it were some far off thing, but I know that it could come for us at any moment, any day. I hope to find you in another life, and I have loved you with the passion, gentleness, and innocence of fathomless proportions, and I will continue to love you in this fashion until the day I am buried.

The questi0n remains though, what happens then? Do we begin the search anew for each other; in different bodies and lifetimes? How will I know it's you? Do you ask yourself the same thing?

Truth be told, if I were a fictional character who knew nothing of your existence outside of my own fictitious world, I would be okay with that if it meant that you were the author or the reader; if I were your favorite character in another life, I would be okay with that. If I were a flower, I'd hope to be in your bouquet, something bright yet fleeting that would bring you the slightest bit of joy like I used to.

Perhaps I'll be an actor in another life, and if I am, I hope that either I find you in the crowd, or that you join me in the spot light. If I were to be a painter, perhaps you would be my muse in some other way; maybe a memory, or an idea that I cannot shake. Even in another life, you would inspire me to be the best artist that I can be.

If I were a ghost, I would haunt you until you joined me. If I were a vampire, I would hope you'd be one with me. If I were an angel, I'd watch over you until we were reunited. If I were a demon, I'd fight all the others and keep them away from you.

You've waited to find me, and I'm honored to be a part of your life, and even more honored to be starting a family with you. I want to find you again after we're both gone, but I don't know how. Perhaps, when we meet again, we'll just know. When I first met you, I knew I would like you, and after talking with you, I wanted you to be a permanent fixture in my life; either as a close friend, or something more than that. It blows my mind sometimes that we got to where we are today, and still have so much life to live together.

There is so much that I want to say, but I'll leave you with this: I love you more than you'll ever know. All the little things you do, like holding me in the night when I'm asleep, feeling our baby girl as she moves around beneath our hands, discussing new project ideas, planning where we want to live and what we'd like to do when we move into a new house, watching baseball together either in bed or in the living room, and so much more; these little things mean the world to me, and I am beyond honored to share them with you.

Thank you for letting me in, for letting me get close to you, for loving me through all the good times and the bad, and for helping me get out of a bad situation. You remind me that I am important, that I have a purpose in this life, and that I am wanted and loved beyond belief. Yes, I know that I have friends and family that love me beyond measure, but they don't love me the way you do, or look at me the way you do. I love you so much, and it would take me more than this lifetime to show you how much. So, I hope to whatever entity is out there, or at the very least listening, that I find you in our next lives, so that I can continue to show you the depths of my love.

I look forward to family vacations, date nights, listening to you read stories to our daughter, holding your hand, making new memories with our babies; but most importantly, I look forward to living the rest of my life with you: my best friend, my soul mate, my twin flame, my lover, my tag-team partner, beside me.