What's the Meaning of Life?

It was that fleeting hour of day when the moon and sun are high and bright at the same time. Like many things in life, these summer nights wouldn't last much longer.

I sat quietly on my rocking chair with the beautiful view of the South Carolina mountains as the birds flew by and the flowers danced with the wind.

I've been thinking about life since the beginning of this year and how funny it is that people struggle to understand what the purpose of life is.

Is it in the future, or is it in the past?

I stared at the picture of my family from when I was a child and smiled gently at the memory.

It was the day of Christmas in that picture with me and my 4 siblings, myself and my dad and mother, and the woman who I would later find out is my real mom.

Life has a funny way of rushing by, I thought to myself.

At this point, everyone in the picture has passed and moved on to wherever we go when everything is said and done.

I cried, but mostly I remember all of our laughs.

It was just me now in the little old cabin in the woods watching over the mountains as the wind kissed my cheek.

For some reason I felt like I should have felt alone right now, but something was telling me it was possible to be alone.

1956

Well, actually... it was a Sunday School teacher one morning when I was in 8th grade who told me that it was impossible to be alone.

After my sister was in her car accident and I was sobbing in the class, she stopped me and pulled me out of the class and said when we are close to a higher source and ourselves, we can't possibly feel alone.

Of course, I didn't believe her and I went back to class. I actually could've sworn she was paid to say such a perfect wishful thing.

Why do bad things happen to good people? I asked her after class, because I wasn't pleased with her answer from earlier.

"Everything is happening for you, darling, perfectly right now." She paused to see my reaction and clearly I was looking for more than that answer.

"Instead of asking why when something happens, try just responding and saying thank you. This is where faith comes in, and trusting in yourself and the higher source you believe in, to be on your side..."

"I think we humans forget sometimes to be grateful for the gifts given to us. It's all perspective. Ask your higher source that you love and follow, and the higher source shall answer this for you. Life is one thing to be grateful for everyday, no matter what."

I was completely frustrated again.

"But there's not much to be grateful about when so many bad things happen to good people, Miss." I told her.

She smiled and looked at me while brushing a piece of hair out of my face.

"What's your dream, darling?" she asked me.

I was only 14, I don't know how she could possibly ask me this when it seemed like a dream wasn't meant for teens my age, but rather more for adults in their 20s or 30s or 40s, or something.

"I don't know" I said annoyed because she couldn't answer the questions the way I wanted her to.

"Follow your dream and your joy, and remember to love; love is the foundation of everything else."

"Who are you?" I asked.

She was a random woman substituting for class this Sunday and I didn't like her answers, so I needed to know her name to tell the Priest about this woman who wouldn't answer me.

After I asked, the class bell rung telling us to go into the prayer room where the Priest was for ending close-out prayer.

I looked back at the woman thinking she'd answer this but when I looked, there was no one there and all the kids were rushing by to get to the prayer room.

When I told my parents about the woman later that day they told me the normal teacher was there that day, but I knew this woman was here, and speaking with me. My gut was telling me she was an Angel.

I stared at the mountains and held onto the picture as I knew I would see the again.

The biggest thing I struggled with as the years went on was letting go, but also loving right now, while continuing the improve, while still loving the journey.

Present

I'm 81 now, and the picture is all I have left.

I couldn't forgive them for years, but finally when I was 65 I knew that it is never too late to try something new, so I chose to love them instead.

I grabbed the picture and closed my eyes for the last time as I listened to the birds sing their favorite songs.

I swear the birds were here on this Earth to be nature's beautiful melody-singing creatures; that's why I chose to be a singer in this life. I didn't think there was anything more beautiful.

I took a deep breath and allowed the nature to sing around me. As long as I felt connected with myself, the higher source, and my loved ones, I knew everything would be okay.

The lights went out and I let my last breath out, as the picture fell into my lap, never leaving my side, because I was never alone, and I knew that; it was my new perception, and I chose to love that perception of mine, and that Angel.