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What's a Friend to Do?

by Antoinette Jones 4 years ago in friendship

I told you so!

If you just listened to me.

I always hate to say I told you so because I don't want to hear it said to me. But there are times it's obvious that I told you so.

I have a wonderful friend that has endured me for many years now. I say endured because I don't always pick up the phone when she calls and I know I don't always say the right things at the right times so I do love her for enduring me.

Well, this story begins with when she met her boyfriend. Like most women and girls we love to talk out our new love to our best friends. So she met a guy that she was interested in and she told me the details. While she spoke about him, of course, I was listening in between the lines. Most of the time as women we don't see the flaws in the beginning when it comes to our men. I knew my girlfriend fairly well and I knew what she was looking for but when she spoke about him I felt less and less he was the one for her.

I tried to just listen and be supportive and hope she would just die off from seeing this guy. But about a month went by and she was still going strong, and then I had to say in one conversation that I didn't think he was the one for her and told her exactly why I thought that. Her response was, "Humm," so I knew then that my opinion and the reasons behind them did not sink in. So I left it alone and only listened.

Now it's been about 6 or 7 months now and she's telling me how the problems are starting to show up. These are the same problems I had foreseen and I thought for sure she would see the light about this guy. No such luck. Now the relationship was up to a year old. And she suffered some major blows emotionally from him. One day she says, "He's moving in with me." I was shocked. I listened to why and to all her plans and she sounded like she was happy. I was confused. She did not need is help financially and he showed no sign of being a reliable man. So then I had to tell her again. I don't think he's the one for you and reminded her of all the awful emotional things he put her through and pointed out he was not financially responsible in the relationship so far. She still pushed forward with her plans so I took a step back and gave her space. Plus I didn't really want to watch the damage too up close that I saw coming.

Now let's fast forward 3 more years. Three more years of his shenanigans. And I listened and listened. Now it was coming to a close finally for her. Now I was just blatantly telling to kick him out and how much she doesn't need him. I even offered my services to help her. She agreed but made no moves to get him out just more complaining about him.

FINALLY, HE WAS GONE! He left in the same shady way he came. He moved in with another chick he had been seeing before they broke up. I felt her pain. I wished I could have distracted her enough to not feel it. But now I have to hear her talk about him STILL! I gave her all the pep talks about being better without him and gave suggestions to stay busy. But she still lingered on him and their relationship wondering why it went the way it did. Hello girlfriend!

The hardest part of this story for me is trying not to tell her I told you so. I saw everything so clearly and I did my best to not be judgmental but I also give her my opinion. I did not want to be that friend to stand by and let her get hurt.

Now she feels like, why does she always get dumped on? I want to scream at her: you wouldn't get dumped on if you just listened to me.


Antoinette Jones

I am a Certified Nutrition Health Coach. I love to talk about how food, supplements and how improving your way of thinking can make big changes in your quality of like. I also like to share stories that may entertain.

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