What Is Freedom?

I used to be that girl who would let everyone walk all over me, that girl who curled up on my knees in a corner, fearing for my life.

I was also that young woman.

That young woman who had her life ripped from her twice, and that young woman who thought she would live through the torment of hell for the rest of her life.

Any trauma is painful. I have been through so much trauma, violence and abuse in many forms.

I lost everything to trauma. My kids, my home and my life. I lost my home so many times to the brutality of violence and abuse, and I had to survive the streets alone for many months after losing everything with no food, water, shelter, company or help.

Today in Ukraine. There are millions of people going through so much more pain than I did. They are faced with violence, agression, the loss of loved ones and so much more.

The violence I went through for years was painful. However, in today's world, I am seeing millions go through more pain than I ever could have imagined existed. As a result, I'm here to write about what freedom means to me.

So, What does freedom mean?

I used to hate the weather. I hated feeling the sun on my face, the rain, the wind, the cold, the thunder and the lightening.

I hated the weather, because the heat of the sun, the heavy rain, the wind that lashed my window, the cold on my cheeks and the noise of thunder and lightning seemed to just represent that the world was evil.

I had spent so many years walking my path alone, feeling like the whole world was against me, and believing that I was going to live in fear for the rest of my life.

I felt like the storm would never end and I was angry with the world for everything. I was also grieving the loss of my loved ones and tormented by a cruel and painful world.

Freedom came when I learned to love my voice.

I spent years closing down, not talking to anyone and I felt ashamed, lost, lonely and guilty.

Guilty for other peoples actions towards myself, my loved ones and for everything they had put me through.

I spent the years that followed battling post-traumatic stress disorder amongst depression, self-hate, worthlessness and many other problems.

After many years of fighting to figure out who I was, and after many years of learning how to use my voice again, I learned that despite all the pain, speaking out gave me freedom.

I told the world my truth, even when millions were against me. It took courage to talk about all the evil things that had happened to me. It was terrifying, painful and scary but once I did start talking, I started to heal.

I knew by speaking out that I couldn't change history or undo the horrible things that had happened to me, and it took me a few years before I could do it in a confident way

. However, it taught me that expressing my feelings and speaking out gave me the freedom to be myself, talk about things in my world that deeply affected me, and fight for what I truly believed in.

It taught me to believe in myself, and from that, I gained the will and strength to live.

We live in hard times. I could never feel the way you are feeling right now, though I can and do share your pain.

Our world can be constantly brutal, and sometimes we wonder if life is worth living.

We all have a voice, but sometimes we are in circumstances that are so terrifying, we become afraid to use it. However:

Remember you are human beings, people with feelings and a voice. You have every right to use it.

My message today is. Use your voice. Sing, shout, talk, write poems.

We can't undo what has been done, but the ability to find and use your voice can put a rainbow where the rain falls. You can find that rainbow in the music your voice makes, even when millions stand against you.

My heart is with Ukraine.