What Friends are for

Friends, defined by Google as "a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations". or by my girlfriend's standard "Someone who I can talk to and confide in, but don't view as a romantic partner. or by my bf who says " A person not of blood but still will do anything for you and be at your side till the end or until they break their oath to you. As a Friend, you have an Oath to uphold, as if it is a solemn promise, often invoking a divine witness, regarding one's future actions or behaviors.

To my Good Friend Ktan ze Humblest of Cats "A Friend is someone who would never do you wrong and no matter the time and distance between you you're excited to see them and to pick up right where you left off and someone who would never leave you behind, a person who would play another song even though someone came in at the end."

To me, A Friend is defined by their acts of kindness and generosity toward one another, someone no matter what is there, no questions asked would help but would never break the bonds of friendship over tiny trivial things and wouldn't immediately leave you because of "bad vibes" or Misunderstandings. A friend is someone who would do what they can to go road-tripping down to your parents when you aren't comfortable yet on the Freeway. A Friend would let you cry on their shoulder, help move you out of tough situations, and let you sleep in their side bed while you move back to your parents.

But the question I ask to you dear readers is how do you find a friend through bars and pubs, at karaoke or the library in the store while at work, in a tree or bush, at the art fair or renaissance fairs, while watching anime, or at the convention, through religion or spirituality, through accidental bf's and gf's, at school or college.

Now, Friends, as defined by the Great Medea are as follows...

"Some people are like the leaves on a tree. The wind blows > they over here.They're unstable. It blows the other way < now they are over here. The season changes. They wither and die. They're gone. Some people are like the branches on that tree. But you gotta be careful now of those branches too 'cause they'll fool you. They'll make you feel like a good friend and they're real strong, But the minute you step out there on them they'll break and leave you high and dry. But If you find two or three people in your life that are like the roots at the bottom of that tree, you are blessed. Because they're the kind of people that ain't going nowhere. They ain't worried about being seen. Don't nobody have to know what they're doing for you but if those roots weren't there that tree couldn't live."

A True Friend Would stick by you and wouldn't need an invitation to your wedding they would be your maid of honor or best man. A True friend wouldn't hesitate to protect and help and be a shoulder to cry on and wouldn't ask whyf we cry until at least maybe a half hour of crying has gone by. As I look at my situation now with how badly family could get they would lend a hand as to what to do and not block you from ways to communicate. They would find reasons to justify why they are acting that way, why anyone would be like that. I understand the world and society have expectations and limits to what people are comfortable doing, but in a day and age when we can make mistakes and slip up once in a while not explaining yourself isn't excusable and if relationships are like that then they are transactional to you and you can remove it from the shelf because you thought my actions aren't fine enough for you.

To me, A Friend is almost like the song Wide Open Spaces by "The Chicks" (Or should I say The Dixie Chicks) "Who doesn't know what I'm talking about?

"Who's never left home? Who's never struck out? To find a dream and a life of their own.....A place in the clouds, a foundation of stone .....Many precede and many will follow.....A young girl's dreams no longer hollow....It takes the shape of a place out West...But what it holds for her, she hasn't yet guessed....She needs wide open spaces....Room to make her big mistakes...She needs new faces...She knows the high stakes"

To me, I know what I did and maybe how I might have but without clarity, or conscience of what I 100% I have no clue how to be a better friend or help you further from this point on. When dealing with friendships breaking I've learned that talking is never on someone's mindset and jumping straight to removing that one friend from the equation but to me without telling me the object of your desire and knowing how people fucked up you not only make worse people but greater enemies, With great secrets and knowledge about you.

As I currently am battling Aging Parents, School, New Job, Health Insurance, ADHD, and not drugs to help me in site, I know how much I should mean to people and why I hate seeing people hurt, in pain, or misjudging someone, I hate people who make irrational decisions, and people who make quick judgments about me or my life, to be that it's a friend and while I could apologize I'm not even allowed and that is a one cold and child-like attitude, or even leaf-like attitude to a so-called "life long" friendship.

In Psychology, They say if a friendship lasts for more than 6 years you know it will last a lifetime. True friendship will never fade, Friends know no boundaries, Together in spirit. True friends are those who are with us when the good things happen. They cheer us on and are pleased by our triumphs. Friends will also be replaced every 7 years, but the true length of a friend will see through the test of time after 17 years of being friends with one another.

As a Witch, A Friend is someone who would lend you their Athame and help aid in spells, but obviously, someone who believes you will make the right course of action for not just you but for all the people around and will not hesitate to protect and defend great power that comes your way, almost as if they are a sister or brother. There is a phrase we all know true and dear to our hearts that says "Blood is thicker than Water" but we later learn that yes blood may be thicker than water but the full quote doesn't necessarily condone family but friends, for the full quote states "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" indicating that the bonds you make in friendship are thicker than that of family ties, and to me that doesn't friendship bonds are stronger than anything forged in a machine or molded like a good sword and will stand the test of time. In Tarot, The Sword is represented by the element air, an element which has no restrictions and is quick to help, just like Medea says "Some people are like the leaves on a tree. The wind blows > they over here. They're unstable. It blows the other way < now they are over here. The season changes. They wither and die. They're gone" As a Witch a True Friend will not care with you are broke, upset, what your weight is, if your house is a mess or if your family is filled with crazy people, they love you for who you magickally are.

But maybe friends aren't always so quick to draw and hot temper as we think. In many Irish sayings, They say "There are good ships and wood ships, ships that sail the sea, but the best ships are friendships, may they always be!" I learned that a true friend would recognize your importance and be there for your support in times of need. They would never take advantage of your friendship. You would do the very same for them. I find a lot of blessings and wishes pop up when looking for examples of a definition for what a true friend is and to me, the lesson I have found searching through so many Irish blessings and wishes is a person who wishes you well and never wants to see your downfall. There is one that stood out to me as I have seen this before, "May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm on your face. The rains fall soft upon your field, and until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of his hand." despite it talking about god I thought most if not all of them look similar. Another one that came about all thought cute was, "A good friend is like a four-leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have". In the book I have referenced called "The Celtic Spirit", on April first ( I know April Fools) It quotes "I pledge my oath without boasting, For how ever many good people we might name, a hundred of them would not match Cerna's goodness__ if we could even call so many to mind." This book entry askes us "What constitites a good friend?" someonw who is insightfull, like souled, tolerent of our failings, someone who says the right thing at the right time, someone who blesses us by her quiet support, someone who helps us laugh at our inflared notions, someone who mourns with us in our sad times. Friends are the sisters and brothers of our soul. But friendship is a two way street; there are obligations on both sides. Althouht the rules of friendship are unwritten, it is clear to both partners when they are broken. If we transgress against trust and confidentiality, if we allow the frieneship to become one-side or without meaningful exchange, if we fail to communicate about a misunderstandinf over too long a time, If we presume to speak on behalf of our friend withouth authority, then we break the rule of friendship. The Bond of friendship is shaken by niether time nor distance. It abides beyond temporal boundaries, neccessities, and unseen contingencies in profound and beautiful ways. I ask that you meditate upon friendship as a friend as well as who you've befriend, and ask your self "on what are your own friendships based; are they on old love, trust and respect or fear and admiration; and how are they sustained? and most importantly "What do you value most in your friends?

To me, a Friend should be a person who knows your flaws, your imperfections, and misscummings. They wouldn't be a stranger and would find an excuse to travel to see you however far away you are, would find video calls the second best form of communication, and would never hesitate to hug you at any chance. A Friend, as said in the poem The Wooeing of Ailde, What is sweeter than mead? -----Intimate Conversation. Friendship should know no bounds of a limit to what you say and how you say things, people like my good friend Ktan should be able to pick up and drop off as you come into the conversation and there will be no limit to what your mind and thoughts should come up with. As I write this long letter and/or article to say we all have friends as well as pasts and futures, will and should be a bond that nonetheless should be like Tod and Copper, or Sam and Frodo, or even Milo and Otis and should be both sacred and special to whomever you are sharing this great friendship with.

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