What a Smash!

The next morning the first thing I do, is replace the light bulb in the new pendant light in the void. To my surprise, when I change it, I didn’t need to stand on anything to reach. I twist the old one out and replace it with the new brighter one. I switch it on to see how bright it is. I am happy with the brightness of the new bulb. I turn it off and collect the glass cleaning wipes from the table. I go back to the light, stand underneath it and look up at it. I decide that it would probably be safe for me to stand on a chair while I cleaned it.

Sliding a dinning chair underneath the light, where I think it would be the optimal place for cleaning. I put one foot on, followed by my other. Steading myself before I slowly stand. I stand up tall, as I do, hitting something with the back of my head. Next minute…

SMASH!!!

The new pendant virtually explodes with the impact of my head, causing small and large shards of glass to fall from the ceiling, it starts raining glass over me. Large pieces hit the ground hard, shattering again, sending small sharp shards flying in all directions as if in a gun fight. Henry and Gigi run off in different directions, to escape the falling and flying glass. After a minute once it was safe and the glass has stopped flying around the room and settles on the ground. I step off the chair and assess the damage.

Bugger, I hadn't looked to see where the chair sat under the light and if I would hit it when I stood up.

I look up at where the pendant use to hang and notice there is one large sharp stray piece of glass still hanging on the side. It looked like a T-Rex tooth, looking at it I decide it is probably best not to pull it down with my hand. I go into the kitchen to get any tool I could find to break the last piece of glass down.

A moment later I return with a wooden spoon. I push the chair back a few inches before I step back up on it. I am extra careful as I avoid the piece of glass, not wanting to get it stuck in my head. Once in the right position I stand up on the chair and I start hitting the glass with the spoon, a hammer would probably have been better.

I hit it once... nothing, twice... nothing. I start to hit it harder and harder; I was like a woman possessed. After about the 20th hit, the glass shatters and falls to the ground.

At 1028am 2 minutes before the open house, after I had finished cleaning the house and cleaned up all the glass. I put Henry and Gigi in the car, and drive down to the park. I call Kristal and tell her what had just happened. I run my fingers through my hair, while explain my ordeal. I start pulling out small sharp pieces of glass, cutting my fingers and hair as I do. I was definitely going to need a long shower when I get home.

At 1120am I send the real estate a text “Is it safe to come back?”

“Yeah, Cass. It’s safe to come back, but I have had to run.”

Great! A minute later I pull into the drive way. I let the dogs inside and follow them into the house. I walk into the kitchen and notice all the fly’s. I get the fly spray from under the sink. I follow the fly’s around spraying as I do, covering the fly’s and the room in spray. I look up and see a few flying above my head. Without thinking I start spraying while looking at them

“Agghhhh!” I got raid in my eye.

I quickly go for a shower. For the first few minutes I position myself under the shower head. I stand looking up at the showerhead with my eyes open, letting the water wash my eyes out. I then wash my hair several times. After 10 minutes in the shower, I wash my eyes out one last time, but they still felt irritated. I dry off, drying my face really well, getting dressed before going and sitting on the lounge. I text Kristal.

I don’t know if I have fly spray or glass in my eye?

She writes back How?? Never mind I will see you in a minute.

A moment later the kids, followed by Kristal and Brooke walk through the front door.

Before the door is even closed, “Ummm… by any chance did you paint the stairs?” Kristal asks.

“Kids close your eyes.” I say as I pull down my tights, so I am standing in my lounge room in my Tradie boy shorts. I turn so Kristal is looking at my bum.

“Bahaha. Look.” She says turning me to Brooke, so she can see my bum.

“Hahaha!” Brooke joins in, while I pull up my pants.

“So that’s a yes?” Kristal says, “But why is it on your ass?”

“Because, I may or may not have accidentally sat on a wet step.”

“How??” I explain to her what I had done the night before. “Didn’t you remember that you had painted the step?”

“Obviously not.” I say.

“Okay so you think you have glass or fly spray in your eye?” I nod. “How did you get fly spray in your eye? You do know you don’t wear it as a perfume, right?”

“Hahaha. There were fly’s above my head, so I sprayed them.”

“While looking at them?”

“Well how else would I have got them? I need to see where I am spraying, I didn’t think that the spray would get in my eye.”

“What goes up, must come down. Come on Cass you did physics.”

“I know, I just thought.”

“No, no. You didn’t think.”

“I just…”

Without finishing Kristal says, “So hard Cass. So, Hard.”

“What?” I knew exactly what she was going to say because I had heard it all before from her and others.

“Life.” She rubs the back of her neck, “You continue to amaze me with how hard you make life look. I don’t know how you do it?”

“What can I say…It’s a gift.” I say.