We are the bullies....

Most of us spend much of our lives wishing we were in another body. We constantly admire other bodies, wishing they were ours. We have this image of how we want to look based on how we think we should look - based on what society made us think is beautiful or perfect. Have you ever stopped to think that while you’re busy wishing to have another body....

Someone could be wishing to be in yours.

People may judge the way you look, but no one judges the way you look more than you do; no one can because your brain will believe what YOU tell it, more than it’d believe what someone else tells it.

We don’t like bullies right? Bullying is wrong. And most of us at least, wouldn’t bully someone. So why do we bully ourselves? If we bully ourselves, then that makes us bullies.

If you wouldn’t say it to someone else, why is it okay to tell it to yourself?

Well it’s not okay.

Trust me, I haven’t always thought like this. This way of thinking is fairly new for me. I’ve come to a point in my life where I realized I was really putting myself down. I had minimal self worth, and nothing anyone said could offend me, because I’ve said much worse in my own head. While my primary focus is the body, this can relate to other types of negative thinking. There were times I hated my body so much that I was afraid to look into mirrors because of the way it’d make me feel. I hated my body. And it took years to realize I wanted to change that thinking. I wanted to appreciate my body for what it is and embrace it.

That’s the goal - to be able to embrace your body for what it is.

While it’s normal to want simple or minor changes or desires, like longer hair or fuller lips, it’s not normal to want to change your whole body.

Allow me to share this idea with you. Now think, we are a brain, and yes a brain functions because of our body, but ultimately all we are is just a brain. Our body acts as the shell that houses that brain. That houses us. Our body works hard day in and day out to carry our weight. We treat our body badly, always putting it down, not loving it and taking care of it as it should be taken care of. And yet despite how we mistreat and bully it, our body continues to carry us. It protects us, so why aren’t we protecting it?

It’s easy to say know your worth, and a million times harder to do. I get it. Because I’ve been there. I am there. It’s a journey and it takes time. But once you take that step on this journey of self-acception to self-love you’ll feel better piece by shattered piece. The image you hold of yourself does not have to remain broken forever. It is possible to slowly accept and then embrace your body. I hated on myself so much as I mentioned, I’d tell myself awful things, but I’ve made small steps to try and change my mindset.

I thought that everyone’s body is different. I thought that there is only one of my body. It’s unique. Why would I want any other when I have my very own? As said above the thought that someone could be wishing to be in my body while I was wanting to be in another’s really woke me up. To us we might not like our body but to another it could be all they ever wished for. It’s baby steps, but you have to make the effort and the will to want to change has to be there.

Even as I’m still working on it, I’ve come to the point where I look in the mirror and I don’t immediately hate. At first I just didn’t think or feel anything. But now I can look in the mirror and think “Wow, I don’t look that bad.” That may seem silly or simple but it was life changing considering how much time and energy went into the process of being able to have that thought.

Each of us is on our own schedule of acceptance. There’s no right time or answer. But there’s hope, as long as the effort is there.

You should treat your body as the temple it is. If you take care of it, it will take care of you. This journey won’t be ideal each day. There will be setbacks, and they’ll be days that feel like your mindset hasn’t changed at all. But those are the days you have to fight the hardest, to let yourself know you are changing and that you’re strong enough to make the changes within your mind. There’s nothing wrong with wishing some things were different. But the things you want different shouldn’t be because you think they aren’t good enough as is. If it’ll make you happier truly, then go for it. But don’t do it for the wrong reasons, embrace your body fully. Look at it with a little more love each day. Appreciate and be grateful it’s carried you this far. And give it a break when need be.

Start telling your body good things and if that’s too hard, don’t tell it anything. It’s better to tell it nothing than something harsh. So start small if need be.

Accepting yourself isn’t easy especially after so much self-hate. But I promise you, accepting yourself is far worth the journey to get there. And maybe for you it might be a journey forever, but at least you can say you were brave enough to start that journey. You were brave enough to try, and that’s worth more than never taking the leap at all.

Whoever’s reading this, I don’t know what you look like, but I know I love the way you look regardless, because it’s you. And the body you’re in is one of a kind, literally.

We all count as unique artifacts in a glorious museum.

One thing I want most in this life is to give people hope. I appreciate your body. I appreciate that you’re trying. I even appreciate if you haven’t started trying but wanted too. Gather some courage, summon some hope and set forth on your quest.

If I can already love the way you look, through this article, without knowing you, then you can love the way you look too.

I have enough hope now, so here, take some of mine to get started or to continue.

Accept. Embrace. Then love.

And always,

Hope.