Unlocking Success

Many of the most brilliant minds of any generation have spent all of their spare time after their successes in vainly trying to discover the secrets of success. After reaching such incredible successes, they wished to share their secret formula for success with the world. After examining and debating various points of view in this regard, many people have given up without ever actually coming to the right conclusion. Others have been left to believe that whether we succeed or fail depends on the opportunities we are given or the cards we are dealt. Others think that a person's level of accomplishment is mostly controlled by hereditary factors. The reality is that none of us were intended to have ordinary lives, and those with similar upbringing typically attained similar degrees of success. Who among proud parents imagines themselves as mediocre or barely getting by as they look down at their newborn? No one who is logical, of course. Even before our children are born, we all have high expectations for what they will say, do, and accomplish. We do everything we can to give those children the best possible start on a successful life when they are born, we hope. While some of these children may grow up with wealthy parents, others will have to make due with incredibly meager financial resources. However, nobody can predict for sure which of them will succeed. What therefore, is the true secret to success? Success is a personal goal, much like happiness. We have been told for years that becoming wealthy is the key to success. That is also what we unintentionally taught our kids, and they will in turn teach their offspring the same foolishness. Even while you may not have heard your parents discuss success, it is true that they frequently urged you to pursue a career as a lawyer or doctor before you were old enough to recognize your strengths. What makes you believe that is the case? One of the reasons we discreetly steer our kids in that way may not even be the fame attached to these positions. However, the thing that attracts them the most is usually money. They find it difficult to view this as success, even if they or their kids are 8 accomplished in their particular fields of specialization but are having financial difficulties. A society of unhappy, dejected, or underachievers as a result of being forced to work in a field they despise or because they are unable to meet the unattainable standards that have been imposed on them as a result of such narrow-minded thinking. Just consider all the wealthy celebrities you know who have died by suicide or are making a valiant effort to kick their drug addictions. While being financially secure or even well off is frequently the consequence of great diligence and effort, it is not the only genuine indicator of success. If you do not genuinely enjoy what you do, having money does not provide any real satisfaction. However, it is only normal to seek a better life for yourself and your children if you are having trouble making ends meet. I would never advise you to give up trying to make enough money for your family's requirements. However, I have to draw the line when your happiness or even your love for your children depends only on your financial situation or material belongings. Having said that, what actually defines success? Here are some of the top thinkers of this century's opinions on the subject.

As you can see, each person has a different perspective on the parameters by which we define success. This is due to the fact that everyone's definition of success is completely unique. Even those who are extremely wealthy could not consider themselves to be successful. These sayings do share one common premise, though. Success doesn't just happen. Successful outcomes come from putting in a lot of effort in whatever you do. Making just enough money to get by is not enough to achieve success. Anybody might be ordinary. If you want to succeed, you must have a burning drive to outperform everyone else—to be first, to do more, or even to outperform them. Every morning you should be greeted by your goals, and every night you should see them dancing around in your dreams. You will also keep reminding yourself that you can't stop and that you won't quit no matter what difficulty arises. I refer to motivation as having a burning desire of that nature. Motivation is the force that drives us to pursue achievement, aids in maximizing our mental potential, and maintains our constant commitment to and attention on achieving our objectives. So, the secret to success is motivation. If you don't genuinely enjoy what you do and feel competent enough to do it effectively, it is impossible to have this kind of drive. It is vital that you establish your own definition of success because of this. Which goal, in your opinion, is worth pursuing? Which success do you want to tell your kids and grandchildren about? That's the goal that will make you successful, so never give up on realizing these aspirations. Being realistic is crucial for maintaining motivation to succeed. A goal is implied to be not just explicit and achievable, but also measurable by the very definition of a goal. It is exceedingly improbable that you will be inspired to maintain working hard to attain a certain goal when it is impossible to gauge your progress toward that objective. Just consider it: if your objective is to arrive at work on time tomorrow, you will continuously monitor the clock at each stop along the way. You will naturally begin moving more quickly if you become aware that you are falling behind schedule because you are aware of how much time is required to reach your target of being on time. How would we know when to begin accelerating if that objective was a little less clear, for example, if you determined that "someday" you wanted to be famous? You'll be motivated to do whatever it takes to reach your objective if you have an innate desire to do so. You might need to accelerate, decelerate, or even alter your direction as a result. However, motivation is a highly elusive quality. To keep yourself motivated, you need to consistently feed your passion. It is crucial that you resist the impulse to check on your progress too frequently because of this. One of the best ways to establish a realistic 15 picture of your progress is to just check it rarely. Rome, after all, wasn't constructed overnight. This is particularly true for long-term objectives. Let's go back to the example of your desire to get at work on time tomorrow to help you understand the point. Would frantically checking the time every 60 seconds while traveling down a congested freeway speed up your commute? I hardly think so. There will always be elements or challenges beyond your control, such as the climate or traffic. Checking the time frequently won't get rid of these problems. At such pace, you might never get at your goal since you'd be too preoccupied with the passing time and risk getting into an accident. Examining your progress to see if your present strategy is bringing you success is important, but doing it too frequently will be both frustrating and distracting. If you have children, you will understand exactly when is too soon and when is too frequently. Children struggle with postponed gratification. If you promise to play with them "soon," be prepared for them to check in on you every few minutes to check on how things are going. They will soon start to gulp down as much milk as they can and measure their height as frequently as they can if they discover that milk would help them grow big and robust. They frequently experience great disappointment because improvement is usually considerably slower than they anticipated. You run the same risk. 16 One of the simplest ways to demotivate oneself is to check your progress too frequently. You'll start to think that your progress is going much more slowly than it actually is, or you might even accuse yourself of making no progress at all. This is especially true because some days you will advance more than others. You are the only person who can determine how frequently is too frequently. You will be aided in making this choice by the nature of your objectives and the length of time required to attain them. It makes sense that you would want to weigh yourself every day if your goal is to lose 5 pounds in 30 days. But monthly weigh-ins would be more helpful if your objective was to drop 100 pounds over the following two years. For goals you expect to accomplish in a shorter amount of time, it is generally advised that you evaluate your progress more regularly than you would for goals you hope to accomplish in a longer amount of time. This does not imply that you shouldn't regularly review your plan for reaching your objectives. In fact, I urge you to evaluate your plan as frequently as you can. It will be harder for you to become distracted by the commotion around you since you will continually be focused about attaining your goals, making this another useful strategy for maintaining motivation. One of the main sources of diversions is frequently our coworkers. Your friends and colleagues can either drag you down or help you move forward and closer to your goals. The focus of the following chapter is on finding the ideal individuals to be around you and inspire you to succeed.

Realize your worth and surround yourself with the appropriate people. "You become like the people you spend time with! Change your life by intentionally choosing to surround yourself with individuals with higher ideals!" "Surround yourself with people who believe in your greatness."

Parents frequently spend an excessive amount of time cautioning their children away from dangerous friends. I was no different. I still recall how my parents would scold me about the friends I chose, restrict me from going to specific people's houses, and keep close tabs on my whereabouts. Being the rebel I was, I frequently considered this to be greatly inconvenient and excessively limiting. Now that I've grown up and seen the lives that some of these people lead, I genuinely appreciate their advice and wisdom. whatever, as adults present, we are all free to behave whatever we like. You can even claim that you are an independent individual who can make your own decisions at age 18. But for the following reasons, I urge you to think carefully about your colleagues

• Your friends have an impact on how you think.

• Your network has an impact on how people perceive you.

Your friends have an impact on how you think.

Everyone—and by everyone, I mean everyone—you frequently surround yourself with will have an impact on your life. Whether you're aware of it or not, this is true. Humans continuously scrutinize those around us in an effort to make sense of this disorienting reality. In fact, some experts have dared to suggest that we are essentially the average of the five people with whom we spend the most time. Who do you wish to be is the question at hand. If you choose to hang out with people who are willing to do the bare minimum to get by, this attitude may easily creep into your head and have an impact on how hard you work to achieve your goals. These folks will make you wonder why you exert such much effort and whether your objectives are even feasible. You won't find this kind of thinking to be at all inspiring, I'm sure. On the other hand, what if you surrounded yourself with individuals who are continuously striving to improve? Think about it this way: Would you poison your garden, stop watering it, and keep it out of the sun if you wanted to grow flowers there? That wouldn't result in the kind of outcomes you want. Why then would you surround yourself with those who seek to, um, poison your mind? Even if they have the best of intentions and truly care about you, they cannot comprehend the fire that burns within you. They can never, ever comprehend what drives you to keep going because they have never been as motivated to accomplish as you are. As a result, people make negative comments about your aspirations and gradually alter how you feel about reaching your objectives. You must have faith in your ability to achieve your goals in order to stay motivated, and associates like this will gradually plant doubts in your mind. Even if these people don't verbally contradict your goals, their style of life won't do anything to inspire you. Their manner of life may serve to strengthen your motivation to accomplish your goal in a positive or negative way. Continually observing them underperform or put off tasks will put out your motivational fires. On the other hand, you will start to feel the want to enhance your existing performance if your close friends are constantly looking for new methods to be bigger and better. Your personal ambitions will seem even more genuine to you when your close friends and family members succeed. And the more important your objectives are to you, the more driven you will be to achieve them.

Your network has an impact on how people perceive you.

The commercial world of today is one that is extremely interconnected. The success of your partners is inextricably linked to your own. Your company cannot realistically function in a vacuum. Thus, one of your most valuable assets is your reputation. Unfortunately, our reputation is a result of both our own behaviors and those of our coworkers. We can also be seen in a similar light if we choose to associate with dishonest or underachievers. It makes sense to think that like-minded people will stick together. Your brand is your reputation, and this is what will entice the financiers and clients you require to realize your objectives. Your reputation might be forever harmed by the wrong business partners. A fantastic chance could very well slip you by if you surround yourself with the wrong people. Believe me when I say that the adage "it's very lonely at the top" is very true. Being the first or among the top 21 in your industry will be much easier to accomplish when you are surrounded by supportive friends and family. Employees that are unwilling to improve will quickly get envious of your success and take any opportunity to demotivate you. Even worse, we are often set up to fail because the individuals closest to us are typically the ones that succeed. Because of this, I urge you to use caution while letting others share your dreams. Select buddies that will encourage and push you on a regular basis to improve. You'll be more likely to be in the right place at the right moment if you surround yourself with the right people. How to make the most of this will be covered in detail in the following chapter.

As was previously mentioned, it is crucial to surround yourself with others who will support your ability to stay focused, but even if you work alone, you can accomplish your goals if you are in the right place at the right time. When you sit around at home alone, it's rare to meet others who share your interests. To locate what or who will inspire you to accomplish your objective, you must put yourself in the right situations. Your constant goal should be to make your surroundings as conducive to achieving your objectives as possible.

But many people who were once headed for greatness have become paralyzed by their fear of failure. This is the kind of worry that will keep you awake at night and pester you all day long. One of the biggest challenges you'll face as you travel the road to success is fear. 26 It is neither shameful nor a sign of weakness to be terrified of failing. Simply take a look around. Only a small minority of newly launched business endeavors succeed—more than 90% of them fail—and of those that do, very few can legitimately claim to be successful. And the effects of failure can be seen right in front of us. There are many pessimists in this world who once aspired to greatness but did not get very far. Because so many well-educated and well-intentioned people end up suffering the bitter fruits of failure, people frequently describe achievement as the consequence of chance. However, one failure, or even multiple failures, does not equate to total failure. Failure is only possible if you stop pursuing your ambitions and giving up on your ideals. There is always room for improvement from previous efforts. Some mistakes turn out to be blessings in disguise. They make it possible for you to spot design defects and make you go back to the drawing board to improve them. Although rapid pleasure tends to be rather gratifying, you will value your success even more if you succeed after being diverted by failure. Additionally, you're not by yourself. Many of the great success stories of our generation kept continuing after they failed, which contributed to their unheard-of success.

Instead than attempting to succeed, try to become someone who is valuable. Our objectives, goals, and dreams have a funny way of exposing our true selves. Always keep in mind that your decisions have an impact on both you and the people you care about. Sadly, we will never be able to fully understand the effects of our choices until it is too late. Always consider how you may improve the lives of others around you, especially the ones you love, no matter what you want to achieve or who you want to become. One of the most powerful motivators is realizing that you are striving toward your objectives for the sake of your family, friends, and closest companions. There will be a lot of work involved in becoming successful in any area. Our current system was not intended to produce successful individuals. Because of this, there are a lot of people in the world who are unwilling to follow their ambitions. They are also the ones who will try to stop you from pursuing your own aspirations. I can't stress this enough, because motivation and success are both internal processes. To achieve your objectives, you must regularly review your plan of action and keep your aims in mind. Once you've been inspired to work toward a goal, you won't be content until you've reached it. What will motivate you to advance is that unquenchable drive for success. But you won't be able to fulfill this desire until you figure out how to define success on your own terms. Never forget that none of us were created to be average people.