Trust Me He Ain't Thinking about You

If there's one thing I've always wondered it's "hmmm I wonder if he's thinking about me?" I promise you honey he's not, sorry to break it to you. I may sound kind of harsh but it's because I care about women in the world, and I want them to prosper. Now, back to my point...he ain't thinking about you. Want to know why? Let me count the ways.

1. A man that is actively thinking about you, would actively pursue you.

Let me explain, men are complex and very simple at the same time. What?!?! Yea I know it makes you think right...any who its simple when a man wants something he goes after it and when he doesn't, well you know the rest. If he doesn't text or try to get in contact with you, most likely he's not thinking about you. Now like I said men are complex and simple at the same time and sometimes choosing to pursue might not be so simple at the moment. Maybe he's not in a right space or just doesn't want to be in a relationship. Men sometimes think things over before they make a simple decision.

2. A man that is actively thinking about you will try to get your attention.

I know sometimes us ladies walk around the world and a guy catches your eye. We try to make ourselves available and dress extra cute knowing that you'll run into him, but nothing happens. Listen when a woman catches a man's eye he will very much try to get her attention. Introducing himself, making small talk, trying to be your friend, dress differently (The glow-up is real), or even try to be apart of your crew. Just because a guy caught your eye doesn't mean he's interested.

So how do we get out of this vicious cycle?!?! Oh please let me tell you honey bun. First, please oh goodness please stop pursuing men! Women it is not your job to pursue a man AT ALL. I know we live in a feminist world where everyone is equal, but woman to woman...stop trying to be the man it'll backfire. I once made that mistake and I ended up being the "man" of the relationship. I was the covering, decision maker, heck I wore the pants in the relationship. Obviously it didn't work because I did it backwards. Introducing yourself and even saying "hey I like you" is one thing, but saying "I like you" and "we should go out, give me your number" is another.

Next, observe instead of moving so quickly. I watch so many relationships start up quick and end just as quick. People aren't getting to know each other first anymore. I now observe before I even tell myself that I'm interested in someone. I observe because I'm looking for one very important thing...consistency. You should definitely look for consistency in a man before anything. Is he the same in front of everyone, or does he become a shape-shifter? Is he respectful to all or only to those he deems worthy of respect? Will he answer a question the same as the last time you asked or come up with another story? Consistency is a major factor.

Lastly my loves, get yourself together first. A man shouldn't be what makes you whole only you can make you whole. Waiting isn't a bad thing, it just gives you more time to focus on you. There's nothing wrong with you and the best things don't come over night. You want him to have himself together as well, so give the man some time. The quote above says to stop making withdrawals on your worth because you may come up negative. What that means is if you keep jumping from relationship to relationship when a real things comes around, you'll have nothing to give. Don't put your worth into worthless relationships just because you're bored or don't want to be alone. You're single for a reason and when the time is perfect, you'll run into a good thing. You got this, live well and prosper.