There's A Moon Out Tonight

sDear Aris,

Every Sunday you and I would walk down the cherry blossom covered road to Rocky’s Diner and order one strawberry milkshake. We loved coming here because it made us feel like we had traveled in time. The diner was 50s themed with checkered tile, neon lights hugged every corner, and an old jukebox stood by the biggest window. Every time I looked at the jukebox by the window it reminded me that as time flies, true beauty never fades. It reminded me of you.

Once we ordered our milkshake we would sit at the table for two closest to the jukebox. You’d always be the one to take the first sip. As you sipped the milkshake you looked so beautiful. Do you remember me telling you how beautiful you were? Aris, you possessed the most charming brown eyes. They shone the way stars did in the night sky. Your lips were soft and sweet like two cotton candy clouds. Your hair was black like obsidian and it curled up like ringlets of gold around your face. You always talked about dying it, but I thought it was perfect. You were the epitome of grace, a flower boy they'd call you. You were so gentle, so divine.

After you sipped the milkshake you’d look up at me and smile the kind of smile a baby does when they see their mother. I’d wipe the milk mustache you always seemed to manage to obtain then you’d laugh. Your laugh was like cold water on a hot summer day, satisfying. I’d laugh too then you’d say to me “Illiya, in a world full of beating hearts, its us that found each other.” Those four words melted my heart every time you said them. You were such a dream. Remember those long walks on the beach? We talked about our future together and all the things that made us feel something in this world. We were only 16 and we were still figuring out life, but we had one thing figured out and that was that us. The love we shared was so sweet and pure like milk and honey.

Remember the nights I couldn't sleep because of the outside worlds stress, so you’d stay up with me and we’d sit on your window nook? We’d stare up at the moon until I fell asleep in your safe arms and in the morning I’d wake up to the smell of fresh linen. You always smelled like fresh linen. My dear Aris, I still remember the day our eyes locked. That night I had stormed out my parents house because they were fighting again.

Frustrated and confused, I accidentally wandered into a garden, in which I had no idea belonged to the man I would love more than the moon itself. You heard my sniffles and you came outside.

You said, “Who ever's out there, everything will be okay.”

My cries became louder because those words were just what I needed. I knew you were there to save me. You found me curled up by the sunflowers and you put your loving hand on my shoulder. As, I looked up at you and you looked down at me I was reborn.

You gave me a reason to live. That's why ever since you died, I haven't been able to sleep. The thought of that bullet going through your body like a villain forcefully overthrowing a kingdom plays through my mind every time I close my eyes.

When I'm not sedated, all I see is that man invading our home and debris flying everywhere. I still see the blood, your blood. I see how pale your face got when the man aimed the gun at you with empty eyes. I hear the gunshots, the haunting screams, and the last “I love you” you struggled to whisper.

It kills me that you saved me once, and I was not able to do the same for you. Aris, the light in my life, the world is torture without you. When I open my eyes I wish to see you, but knowing that will never be possible; I hope to join you soon.

With love, Illiya