The Women In Black

“I moved to California with my toddler and just $700 in my pocket.” Taraji Henson said looking decisively at the camera. It almost felt like she was looking at me. I had already failed at societys traditional expectations of having a relationship with your child’s father. And like most women separated from their baby daddy often feel: I felt like my dreams were so far out of my reach.

And here a single mother, had harnessed in life’s shortcomings and made it into her own success story. Taraji wasn’t just a woman either, she was a black woman. Both entrepreneur and influencer, her name became her brand.

Black had been America’s taboo, especially in the field of woman. We were often branded as “too loud, ghetto, and not attractive.” And to add on top of it I found myself unmarried, with a child. I felt like I had already failed. Although, Taraji’s words resonated in my heart: “what if I believed those people that told me when I became pregnant I wouldn’t finish college?- I walked across that stage with my son on my hip and grabbed my degree.”

At first, Taraji tried to conform to societies vision of a “practical job.” I believe we all try do that, think we have to fit in a mold that wasn’t made for us. She attended her first year of college at North Carolina Agricultural & Technical State University.

Upon failing her pre-calculus course, Taraji decided to go against the grain and pursue her actual passion & craft, enrolling in Howard University to study theater. To make ends meet she worked two jobs at the time.

Coincidentally enough, one job she worked, was practical- a secretary of the Pentagon. Another was not -a cruise ship entertainer. Although, the latter was one that she recalls enjoying. Even if it was just performing for people on a ship. It was her chance in the spotlight. Her foot in the door.

Not only did Taraji have two jobs, but she had a side hustle during her college years. She styled ethnic hair for $20 a pop. She speaks about the beauty and art of black women’s hair. How hair for black women is a part of our amazing culture. Black hair has been shamed for so long. We need those positive discussions. I loved that she was vulnerable and spoke of the familiar ignorance, I had known all to well. Not knowing how to properly take care of your hair.

Flash forward today, she is now the proud founder of her own hair line of products called ‘TPH by Taraji.’ She incorporated her own struggles as a black woman, and perfected her own special recipe to help protect hair. “I want everyone to feel seen in this brand.” She explained.

In 2016, Taraji had beat all the odds against her and became the FIRST black woman to win Critics Choice Television Award For Best Actress (in a drama series) at the Golden Globes. “I’ve waited 20 years for this.” She sassily said, dismissing the teleprompters cue to wrap up her speech. Apparently, she had went over her time limit. I admired how she wasn’t letting anyone take away the moment she worked so hard for. You could feel the excitement dripping off her. Twenty years in the industry and she had never given up.

The critically acclaimed show she won the award for was called, Empire. It featured a predominantly black cast and grew incredibly popular. Taraji was celebrated as an icon for her uninhibited and unhinged role in the show as a fictional character named Cookie. She was loud and proud, and black women everywhere, including me, loved the portrayal of a black woman being ‘Queen’ of an empire.

Besides her acting tributes and hair formula,most importantly Taraji is an advocate for black mental health. This topic is very personal to me. I’ll never forget the strain of growing up in a mostly white town. Mental health is one subject but black mental health, now this is something else entirely. I thought of the days where I wish I could be like a reptilian, shed my black skin and start anew.

Taraji shared her own personal experiences. Her fathers PTSD. He had served over seas. And how the black community mocked him for his mental conditions. I find the topics shes approached beyond riveting. Why do we as black people always have to be so strong? Why are our struggles considered weaknesses? I remembered all the pain I had pushed inside myself simply because I was black.

In 2019 statistics showed staggering numbers: our black youth was killing themselves. The suicide rate had steadily been rising since 1991. News stations from around the US were shocked to learn that in contrast to white children our suicides as black people, were much higher.

Black people don’t usually talk about it. The feeling of not wanting to live just because of the color of your skin. The situations it can put you in. Taraji testified and plead to Congress in 2019 about the crisis in the black community. She asked for the aid of counselors and more resources for our black youth.

Following her attempts to bring awareness, Taraji founded the Boris Lawrence Henson Foundation. A non profit relief for mental illness in the black community. “Break the silence. Break the cycle” was the organization’s motto. It aids in free counseling for young black people. To this present day, the organization offers free virtual therapy due to the pandemic.

To me Taraji showcases a magnitude of wonderful things to reflect on. Motherhood doesn’t stop your dreams. You’re never too old to pursue them. And let’s tear down this narrative that black means too strong to speak. Let our pain unify us. After all, there is so much power in being black.