The Empty Feeling of Achieved Ambition

As men age, many struggle with a sense of purpose and fulfillment. A friend recently approached me, expressing his dissatisfaction with his current state in life. Despite being physically healthy and financially secure, he felt he was waiting to die and could not shake the feeling that there must be more to life than this.

This kind of feeling is not uncommon among men, who are often genetically programmed and socially encouraged to focus on external accomplishments. As a result, men are driven to achieve success in their careers, physical fitness, and their standing in the community. But while this kind of ambition can be admirable, it can also lead to a sense of emptiness and dissatisfaction when the external goals have been achieved.

The problem is that many men are less familiar with the inner workings of their hearts and minds than they are with the statistics of their favorite sports teams. Even among younger men, there is often a disconnect between the external and internal worlds. And while it is encouraging to see more men expressing vulnerability and opening up emotionally, there is still a need for inner exploration and self-discovery that is often neglected.

The transition from focusing on external accomplishments to exploring the inner world can be challenging, and finding guidance or metrics for success is not always easy. In addition, accepting that therapy or other forms of self-discovery may be necessary can be difficult, and some men may be hesitant to invest in such endeavors. Nevertheless, just as a brand-new car or a flashy watch can be seen as a symbol of success, investing in one's inner world can be just as valuable and rewarding.

Carl Jung once said,

A man needs to spend the second half of his life developing his internal world before building his external world."

This is particularly true as we age when our bodies and external circumstances inevitably change. Without a rich inner world to explore, we risk becoming like the cliche of the high school star quarterback whose peak in life was at age 18.

But if we can successfully transition from the external to the internal, we will discover that there are new and uncharted territories to be explored that are even richer and more fulfilling than our careers or other external accomplishments. Exploring the inner world is the last frontier, and it is open to all of us, regardless of age or circumstances.

To truly live a fulfilling life, it is crucial to strike a balance between achieving external goals and exploring our internal worlds. This balance will look different for everyone, and finding what works for you is essential. For some men, this may mean reducing work hours to make time for self-reflection and introspection. For others, it may mean taking up a new hobby or activity that allows them to connect with their emotions and inner selves.

Still, some men may want to try other approaches. For example, one way to begin exploring your inner world is through therapy or counseling. This can provide a safe space to discuss your thoughts and feelings and to work through any past traumas or emotional baggage that may be holding you back. In therapy, you can also learn tools and techniques for self-reflection and mindfulness that can help you navigate your inner world.

Another way to explore your inner world is through creative outlets such as writing, painting, or music. These forms of expression allow you to tap into your emotions and uniquely connect with your inner self. It is also helpful to surround yourself with people who support your journey of self-discovery and will hold you accountable.

In conclusion, it is essential to remember that a fulfilling life is not just about achieving external goals and accomplishments. It is also about exploring and understanding the inner world. As men, we are often taught to focus on external markers of success, but it is important to remember that true fulfillment comes from within. We can create a more balanced and satisfying life by exploring our inner selves.