The Adult Child Who Also Lives with His Parents, a Common Situation Nowadays

The adult child living with his parents: a situation so common today that we perceive it as normal; he is only 20 years old and is studying; he is only 25 years old and has just graduated; he is only 30 years old and looking for a better job… But how normal is it for a young adult to stay in his parents' house, unable to live independently?

Of course, today a young person is sometimes forced to live with his parents due to financial difficulties: just as in traditional societies the child remained in the parental home and contributes to the functioning of the extended family, today families are forced to stay together in the same home. all contributing to the maintenance of life.

But the most common reality is not this: the adult child who lives with his parents does not do it to help his parents; nor does it do so out of necessity - but out of immaturity and irresponsibility. Yes, it is extremely difficult to find a job - but it is by no means impossible.

The adult child who lives with his parents at the age of 25, at the age of 30, at the age of 35 chooses a simple life: he has freedom because he has a certain age; has a roof, food, and a person who takes care of household chores; has no major responsibilities; and he always has a reason to justify himself, to continue this good life.

As for the parents of this adult child: they also find excuses for him and I think they help him by still doing almost everything for him. The economic crisis, low-paying or low-paying jobs, the fact that he is "just x years old", the fact that many young people do the same…

Parents may become worried and stressed that a young person does not seem at all willing to live on his own. own - but I constantly find excuses and hope that everything will work out on its own…

But the adult child who lives with his parents and who leads a comfortable life has no real reason to make a change: he can complain about the situation, he can say that he can't wait for a change - but very often, he lives comfortably in the house every day. parents, letting them take care of him. It's just his parents, aren't they?

This is how we reach young adults without realistic plans, who do not strive to change anything, as if they have fallen into a generalized apathy; wasting nights, sleeping all day, spending time with PC games, and occasionally sending a resume…

Why are so many adult children still living with their parents today? Is the financial crisis of jobs the only reason? No - these are several generations of immature adults, incapable of independent and responsible life.

Comfortable generations, for whom any challenge is too difficult. It is the result of a self-help social mentality: from teaching oneself to help oneself to constantly helping oneself - and through this, to making one incapable and dependent. The mentality of assistance and help is visible both in public policies and in the bosom of families.

The adult child who still lives with his parents and depends on them is the result of this mentality - it is the result of raising the child doing everything for him, instead of teaching him to do it alone.

Children learn to ask their parents - they want with all their heart to protect them completely, to always help them, to protect them from the world. Parents believe that they always must help, intervene, to ensure an easy life for the child, to protect him from anything. Is it any wonder, then, that the young man will not be ready to go out into the world alone?

The new society, the new age of technology has also played a role in shaping these generations of adult children: everything is much simpler, everything is much more comfortable, everything is fast, everything is ready. And instead of a child developing social skills, communication, adaptation, problem-solving, he becomes a little "autistic" who buttons on the PC all day, creating superficial relationships and living in a virtual world. which is all simple.

Modern society has also focused on undergraduate and postgraduate studies: studies, but not work. Very few young people learn what work is - too few works, even part-time, as long as they can say they are studying.

The young man expects a diploma to be the key to his access to the world, but that diploma is often useless because the young man has some knowledge, but no real skills and not the will to work. The value of work has long been lost: today, it is rather embarrassing to have a "low" and poorly paid service - young people think they are too good for a lot of jobs and passively wait for the perfect place.

So many times, the pretext is "I can't find anything" - yes, it's hard to find a job; but even today, for a young man, it is by no means impossible. But today's immature young people want everything ready, they want to be offered the best from the first.

There is no longer the idea that you have to start from the bottom and strive to get to the top - everyone wants to start from the top. And so they end up staying in place: in their parents' house, without prospects, without will.

Who's the Boss? When the adult child still lives with his parents, he is treated like a child. He is not expected to contribute; he does not ask himself this question. His parents take care of him, but they don't ask for anything.

The value of equality and cooperation has been insisted on for some time, but the authority structure in such families has been overturned: the child becomes the boss. He feels entitled to ask, but his parents are afraid to ask. Many parents are thus stuck, fearing to be strict, fearing to push the young man, still feeling responsible for his life.

The young man often manipulates them, making them feel guilty that they want him out of the house: not infrequently, the young man resorts to guilt: "are you my parents, how can you ask me for money ?; because of you this is happening; you don't help me "…

Adult children living with their parents - generations who did not grow up, immature generations and unprepared for an independent life, unprepared for life, for challenges. Generations choose the simple way to live because reasons are always present.

What can parents do? Get rid of fear; get rid of guilt, and show the adult child clearly that living in the parental home is not the same as remaining a child. Expectations must be imposed: financial contributions in the house; performing one's tasks at home, and especially the realistic job search - it doesn't matter where you start, it matters to start!

Staying in the parents' house as an adult may be a necessary option today: but this does not allow the young person to remain a child and be treated like a child. Step by step, he must be pushed towards independence, no matter how much he resists.

The most important task of a parent is to teach the child to be independent - and although it is difficult, sometimes he has to be pushed from behind…