The 9 Alluring Traits of Highly Attractive People
If you check all 9, you’re a love bomb and you know it.
1. They’re enthusiastic.
Enthusiasm is a force!
Showing keen interest in other people’s words and ideas gives them a validation boost that will instantly make them attracted to you.
Let me give you an example from my own life.
I’m not the most enthusiastic person. I’m kind of cynical, to tell you the truth. I see right through people’s bs and lies, even through the ones they tell themselves.
But there was a time in my life when I decided to run a little experiment on enthusiasm.
I greeted everyone with joy. Every idea was great, I found something good to say in every situation, and I said it with a wide smile and a twinkle in my eye.
The results were off-the-charts!
People were drawn to me like moths to a flame. Regardless of age, gender, or how they felt that very moment, they wanted to be in the light of my enthusiasm.
They all wanted to date me, be my friend, or share the same space with me! And I had a ray of enthusiastic sunshine for them all.
2. They’re similar to us or who we want to be.
No matter how open-minded and loving we are, there is still nothing we are more fascinated with than our image in the mirror.
Even when we don’t particularly like it, it attracts us with magnet power.
And if this mirror is held by somebody else’s personality, it’s even more intriguing.
Seeing someone who seems to be like us, who believes in the same things, laughs at the same jokes, and strives for the same goals validates our own life choices.
It makes the other much more endearing than someone who, say, has wonderful life values but they’re just not our own.
On the contrary, we might see them as arrogant or strict, just because they sin differently from us.
Another person that is highly attractive is someone who already achieved what we want to achieve. Not somebody who is successful in a field that is of no interest to us, although success is inherently attractive.
But someone who is already successful in our field is a projection of our ideal self. We can’t help but fall in love with the image and the person.
3. They’re extroverts.
I’m sorry to disappoint my fellow introverts, but extroversion is much more attractive to most people.
Laughing, joking around, chit-chatting, and keeping things light and superficial all have tremendous power over our hyper-sensitive brains and hearts.
There’s a good reason for that: introverts are intimidating!
What are they thinking, why aren’t they talking about the weather? Are they judging me?
Introverts are often misunderstood.
Although their mysterious nature does have a certain charm that creates interest and intrigue, they fade quickly under the breezy disposition of the extrovert, whose attitude easily lends itself to conversation, fun, and light interaction.
Extroverts look available (even when they’re not), they have a confident and open demeanor that intimidates no one. On the contrary, it invites communication, play, and openness.
They’re just easier to deal with! And easy is attractive.
4. They’re good listeners.
It’s everyone’s deepest desire to be understood, heard, and seen how they want to be seen.
Not be seen for what they truly are! Those are rare cases.
I remember telling somebody once: ‘You don’t have to hide anymore, I see you for what you truly are and it’s ok, I like you anyway.’ I was young and naïve back then. He never spoke to me again.
People want to talk and be heard. No matter what they say, true or false, they want you to be there and take those words at face value.
A good listener does nothing else while he’s listening. In those moments, he is nothing but a receiver.
Good listeners don’t judge the speaker’s words, they don’t label him, and they don’t listen with the intent to reply.
They are there for the words and message alone. They don’t interrupt. They don’t look away, yawn or fidget.
From time to time, they repeat what the speaker said. When the speaker finished, they ask valid questions that showed not only that they understood the story, but that they felt the story.
A good listener becomes one with the storyteller.
Listening is one of those most difficult feats to pull off.
People are usually too busy or uninterested to master it, but good listening is the milkshake that brings all the boys to the yard.
5. They’re fearless.
Don’t imagine you have to fight a dragon to prove that you’re fearless.
Modern society brought the war zone into the business meeting and savage pillaging and plundering into friendly cafes and malls.
The wars the modern man fights are with words and ideas. His personality is his sword and his fearless nature is proven by just how fearlessly himself he can be.
In a world of masks and fake smiles, the ability to be unapologetically yourself is pure fearless attractive madness.
Having the audacity to risk your warm place in society by voicing the unpopular opinion that nobody has the guts to say leaves people to wonder what kind of magic traits you possess that allow you to be so open.
And that’s highly attractive.
Just don’t let it get too far. Being fearless is one thing, but constantly blurting out painful truths is another. Keep it light, not every battle requires your presence.
6. They make others feel amazing.
People’s attraction to you is directly proportional to how you make them feel.
If you make them feel like crap with your criticism, harshness, or tight-assedness, they will avoid you.
If you constantly vomit compliments all over their every action, they will be turned off by your people-pleasing nature and, again, avoid you.
The secret to making people feel amazing is to create space for the best of them to come out.
One simple way to do this is to ask for their opinion and advice. You’d be surprised by how much people love to help, at least with words.
When we help, it makes us feel amazing, like we’re a contributor to a better world.
Give people a chance to be better than you and see themselves in a good light by allowing them to help you.
7. They’re relaxed
Most people are anxious. Curiously enough, they can be anxious about anything and everything.
A storm starts outside, omg, did I close the windows?! What’s going to happen to my brand-new carpet? Followed by nervous nail biting and pacing in place.
A random meeting comes up at work, they go pee 3 times before it starts and nervously wait out the meeting for the 4th pee.
When somebody comes along who doesn’t have his life wrapped around a carpet or who won’t let a work meeting control his bladder, he’s almost a mythical creature.
Not like a sasquatch, though, more like a centaur.
And there’s nothing more attractive than somebody that rises above life’s daily pettiness, with a relaxed smile on their face, genuinely not caring if their carpet gets wet.
A little caveat, though: if you take it too far, it can be annoying and almost alien-like. If something tragic happens, being relaxed about it makes you inhuman. Keep it light.
8. They aren’t afraid to tease.
So few people dare to tease and even fewer do it well. They’re so concerned with looking good that they don’t dare say something that would ruin that perfect image.
Little do they realize that everybody thinks perfect images are boring and fake.
Teasing is daring, open, and vulnerable. It means putting yourself out there. You never know when teasing can get too much for the other person and you might be reprimanded and mocked.
Daring to be playful with someone, to incite and lovingly provoke the other is a sign of confidence that few master.
It’s an invitation to play and open up to each other and it can be highly attractive when done right.
Don’t be afraid.
He who masters the art of the tease masters the art of attraction.
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