Suffering From Smith-Itis

For 30 years, and still to date, I have been a 911 police, fire, and medical dispatcher. Now, one expects of course, to immediately hear a bunch of either hilarious or chilling anecdotes following that statement. That is not what this post is about. This post is about a poor tormented soul from my city and his recent, lamented, passing. For privacy and personal protection, I will refer to this man as WP.

For well over twenty years, WP, has been calling in to the 911 dispatch center at all hours, but mainly overnight. [Note, I work the "graveyard" shift for my own reasons. It works for me] WP was an elderly African American man who was a hero in his own right. Many years back, WP was actually a POW in Viet Nam. Needless to say that experience had to have been horrific.

To digress, for a lot of years, WP would call 911 rather than the administrative / nonemergency line. He called because he brought more back from Viet Nam and that POW camp than just himself. He also brought back "Mr. Smith." [His name for his imaginary tormenter].

Mr. Smith tormented WP endlessly, mercilessly, and terribly for decades. We assume Mr. Smith is a product of severe PTSD. Regardless, WP would call 911 screaming, yelling, and cussing at Mr. Smith. Calling Mr. Smith all types of things, including "That Damn Ni..er!" This would seem to be an upsetting thing for the calltaker you would think. Not really, not for most of us. Despite the severe nature of the calls, and the absolute horror of the man's situation, we always tried to be understanding. Besides, aside from being a war hero - along with a long list of other honors in various fields over many years - WP was, at heart, a very nice man.

WP did not call 911 to scream at the dispatchers. He did not call to curse at the ineffectiveness of our police officers. No, despite his tortured soul, his continuing ongoing soul grinding torment, WP called in solely to get some mental relief. WP, after screaming and yelling at Mr. Smith while on the phone and begging us to help him... would then, with tears of agony in his voice, thank us for talking to him. He just needed to hear a voice of compassion. He was a nice man. He was a hero. He was a truly tortured soul.

As I said, this went on literally for decades. I have worked at my current agency for over 20+ years. [I had a few years at a different agency prior]. WP, PTSD afflicted Viet Nam veteran, businessman, religious leader, and various other things over his life, developed testicular cancer a while back. Not knowing the real details of his personal or medical life outside of this room in which I sit tethered to a phone/radio/computer ... I only know what WP would tell us and what the officers garnered from him.

Now, I won't say that every dispatcher we ever had was overly fond of WP. We had at least one that would get irate when WP's number would pop onto the screen. Of course, given that WP would sometimes call 911 upwards of 40 to 50 times a night (that slowed down a few years prior to his passing) I get it - to a point. Besides, that dispatcher just wanted to sit here quietly and hope the phone never rang. Tough on him. Most of us were actually quite fond of WP.

We spoke with him daily, repeatedly for many years. We would go so far as to directly address "Mr. Smith" and tell him what a good man WP was and tell this imaginary PTSD phantasm to stop tormenting our good friend. We would ask WP about his day, his life, his doctors... We would ask him to read particular verses from the Bible given that WP was a religious, God fearing man. We have even had officers "handcuff Mr. Smith" and take him from WP's residence. I'm sure that looked ... interesting ... to any nearby observers.

The long and short was - WP was our phone a friend. Or, we were his. WP passed away a few weeks ago after a protracted battle with testicular cancer. Our dispatch center was issued an open invitation for any who wished to attend his memorial service. A few of us went.

Recall - we did not deal face to face with WP despite the fact that I have seen him in person, from a distance, mainly by chance. A couple of times I saw this thin, balding, elderly black man from the rooftop break area where I happened to be relaxing for a few minutes when WP happened to physically visit the station). Being familiar with his appearance from files and records, I knw who he was. I smiled. I did not have any desire to yell at this tortured man who had kept us busy with his agonized cries for help for years. No. I smiled and felt a touch of ... friendship, despite the fact that WP wouldn't know my face from Adam.

So.. back to the memorial service. A few of us dispatchers took up the invitation to attend the services for our recently departed phone-a-friend, WP. At this service, there were a LOT of people. WE had thought of WP as a lonely, sequestered man suffering at home..., lonely. Not so. WP had many friends and acquaintances there to lament/mourn his passing.

WP's sisters, aside from the normal reminisces and fond farewells, stated straight out at his memorial service that WP had been highly praising of his friends at the 911 center. They expressed their gratitude at the fact that we, for decades, were there to console and attempt to soothe this poor tortured man's soul. It was at this memorial service that we learned some of the many truly remarkable things WP had done in his life, aside from being a war hero and POW. We felt ... small, large, sad, and joyous simultaneously... at the truly welcoming arms we found with WP's family. One of our members even spoke briefly at the service. She felt awkward given our 3rd party relationship with the deceased, yet the family truly appreciated it and thanked us all. Wow. What a wonderfully uplifting thing.

So, the upshot of this is a testament not to the humor or horror of 911 dispatch. It is a testament to human connection. A testament to the power of compassion. None of us could cure WP's cancer. None of us could cure his PTSD. But, we could be ... nice. We could try to help him, mentally and emotionally within our very limited capabilities [while dealing with all the other things you can imagine are happening at the same time - it is a 911 emergency call center after all]. This we did, for decades. Then we discovered to our surprise, that our efforts on his behalf were actually noticed by others outside our own department. That was ... heartening.

So. This testament is written to say that we can all look beyond the obvious annoyances of another's daily travails being "dumped on us" and show some concern, some empathy. You never know where that will go.

I will burn another candle for WP tonight. A Hero. A community icon. A lonely, tortured soul. A good man. WP is missed, even here.