Some People Are Sad During the Holidays

“It’s the most wonderful time… Of the year…”

Andy Williams

I love that song. I heard it a few days ago while flipping through the radio stations. Traditionally, though Christmas is my favorite holiday, I’ve never been one to start listening to holiday music in the car come mid-November. I just enjoy my normal classic rock music far too much to switch to Christmas songs.

This year it’s been different. I don’t know if it's that I’m feeling more nostalgic as I age, or that I’m closer to 50 than 45 now, but I’m into the Christmas music suddenly. You hear that, Mariah? We’ve got room for your holiday tune at our family get-together. Stop by if you want to perform it live, we’ll feed you well.

It’s not the holiday season without Mariah belting out this classic Christmas tune.

“It’s the most wonderful time… Of the year…"

I appreciate the sentiment, Andy. But not everyone feels this way. And though I’d never give up my wonderful holiday feelings with my family and friends, I’m ever more conscious of those who do not revere Thanksgiving and Christmas. I sympathize and empathize with them, both.

People have valid reasons for feeling the way they do about this subject. It’s not our job to push them about the reasons why they feel this way. Nor should we try to force them to cheer up and join us in our festive feelings and traditions.

We should care about them. We should invite them to be with us if they are alone for the holidays while not pushing them and insisting they attend. The offer to spend time in our homes and feed them in a hopefully cheerful and fun environment is enough. If they accept, great. If not, we need to accept that, ourselves.

Holiday seasons can trigger depression, anxiety, and a general feeling of dread. There are a number of reasons people often have a negative view of the holiday season. Here is a brief rundown of some of those reasons, and why we should be aware of those reasons.

Bad Experiences During Holidays Past

Some folks did not have a loving, healthy childhood growing up. For every one of us who had loving, caring families, wonderful Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, and many gifts around the Christmas Tree, there are others who had terrible experiences.

Some people were raised in abusive homes. Having family over for the holidays can create stress and strife. Especially when certain family members don’t get along. Add alcohol into the mix and you can see how explosive a situation can be. Instances of angry arguments and even violence increase during the holidays.

The Financial Aspect of Holiday Greed

Many folks dread the holidays because of the obligation of buying expensive presents for their immediate and extended family. Sadly in our consumer-driven country, many people want to always the newest, more-improved version of everything. This can cause a financial burden for those who are trying to buy for everyone they care about.

Going into debt to try to keep up with the Joneses’ is scary. The financial well-being of many people relies on their strict budgeting and not going overboard on extravagant gifts. When people feel pressured to buy the latest, greatest, newest things, it can cause undue stress and sadness.

Many People Are Estranged From Their Loved Ones

If you have had divisiveness over the past seven or eight years in your family like I have, it may be difficult or even impossible to sit down at a family dinner during the holidays. Sadly, our country is so politically divided, that many family members cannot drop their bullshit political views long enough to appreciate each other over a meal.

Some have family feuds that pre-date the rise of the MAGA cult and Donald Trump. There have been hurts and sadness caused by immediate and extended family dating back numerous years or even decades. This makes for a depressing time for many, who would love to see their parents, children, or other relatives.

Some Have Experienced the Loss of Family and Friends

If you’ve lost a beloved spouse, child, grandparent, pet, or anyone else you once loved, the holidays can be a painful reminder of the hurt from that loss. While everyone at the family holiday get-together is laughing, singing, and loving on each other, some feel the ache of that missing family member.

Most people try to power through those feelings and attend, attempting to make the best of it. Be aware of those who have lost someone they loved and be there for them. For others, the idea of being around others in a cheerful, festive situation is more than they can commit to.

Be There For Those Who Are Sad, But Don’t Shame Them For Not Attending

If you thought of someone specific who does not enjoy the holiday season while reading this, be available to them. Invite them over if they are local. But accept their decision if they choose not to accept your invitation. Being pushy with someone who struggles during the holidays is not ok.

Being accepting of the way others feel in a usually-happy holiday situation can make them feel a bit better about the struggles they have regarding the holidays. We are all allowed to feel the feelings we have, both positive and negative. And both are valid.