Social hangover: what it is, how it affects us, and possible causes

No one is capable of living without contact with others, the human being is a social animal by nature. However, some people are more outgoing than others, and others are more comfortable focusing on their inner thoughts and ideas, rather than what's going on outside. But absolutely we all need to interact with others, although some contacts can wear us down if we get too involved.

Our brains consume a lot of resources when we interact with others, even if it's something we do for fun in our free time. After a period of socializing, our body needs to rest, and so does our mind. We don't want to go out anymore because we need to recover.

Some people are more susceptible to this type of burnout that occurs after spending time around others and may need to take additional steps to recover.

In this article we talk about social hangovers , what they are exactly and we expose their most frequent causes.

What is social hangover?

Social hangover is not a medically recognized syndrome; it is simply the common way of describing the state of tiredness that occurs after social interaction .

Spending time with other people can produce a hangover-like state. Physical, mental and emotional exhaustion, along with irritability and apathy, are symptoms of the so-called social hangover. When it occurs, the mind takes longer to process the information it receives, movements slow down and even, as in the physical hangover caused by alcohol, headaches or muscle aches may appear due to the tension of socialization .

The term social hangover gained popularity after the months of confinement and the lifting of social distancing measures decreed during the recent COVID-19 crisis. The progressive return to normality has made us all relate to each other again, but this time in an excessive way, different from the usual, to make up for the supposed lost time.

But after being isolated for a long period of time, constantly connecting with people can have negative psychological effects, like a social hangover. Something that may seem paradoxical because contact with others was what we wanted most during the pandemic.

In his Politics, Aristotle argued that humans are social beings by nature. While all people need to connect with others in a meaningful way, the degree of this need differs for each person. The amount of social interaction extraverted people need is greater than that of more introverted people , who focus more on the inside, rather than what's going on outside, including the rest of the world.

In addition, our need for connection may be different depending on our vital moment. Our context can also influence how we behave and how we react when we are with other people. It may be that in times of stress or transition we end up more tired after spending time with people.

Causes of social hangover

When we experience a social hangover, we feel lethargic, have trouble concentrating, and are in a bad mood. Our mind and body seem to be overwhelming us, and we don't want to talk to anyone or go out .

Spending time with other people, even if we are not aware of it, requires effort, we have to consider: what we are saying, doing, how others see us, how we see ourselves, listening to what other people tell us, developing a response, interpret non-verbal language, etc. As we can see, there are many cognitive resources that we invest when interacting with others. Normal, that after socializing excessively, our body and our mind say enough.

The term social hangover describes this physical and mental exhaustion, although it is not a diagnosable medical condition . It is related to other conditions and diagnoses.

For example, chronic exhaustion -or burnout- is a common occurrence and is considered a psychological syndrome. This usually manifests itself in the workplace, when an employee has been subjected to a long period of stress. Although chronic burnout can also occur in other areas of life, it responds to two key elements.

In the first place, emotional exhaustion is a state of psychic overload, there is a feeling that all emotional resources have been exhausted, which implies feeling incapable of assuming conflicts or responsibilities.

Second is depersonalization : When we experience too much social interaction, we can feel dissociated or disconnected from our surroundings. This is called depersonalization and can manifest itself with the appearance of negative feelings and attitudes towards the environment.

There are different factors, which do not indicate the existence of any underlying pathological condition, that can favor the appearance of emotional hangover in some people.

1. Introversion

Some people have personalities that make them more prone to a social hangover. According to some specialists, introversion is the personality trait most indicative of the risk of suffering from social hangovers or, what is the same, periods of exhaustion if you socialize excessively.

Introverted people tend to focus on their inner world : reflection, introspection, and creativity. And they need these activities to recover their energy. Introverted people, who are in constant social interactions, can end up feeling burned out.

An introverted person needs to break up their individual time with periods of being together, to strike a balance where they don't feel isolated but not overwhelmed either.

2. Demotivation

Being with others fulfills many important functions: it improves our self-esteem and self-concept, makes us feel connected, helps us to let off steam and releases tension. When the situation or our own personality makes this reinforcing effect disappear, social hangovers can frequently appear.

Normally, this lack of interest in socializing occurs when we are sad, stressed, exhausted or unmotivated, in these moments it can be difficult to enjoy the company of others. If this lack of ability to enjoy contact with others lasts over time, it is advisable to go to a specialist to determine if there may be any condition that causes it, such as depression or stress.

Exhaustion could also be derived from the emergence and maintenance of conflictive relationships. If we are around people who are overly dramatic, always fighting, or never stop complaining, at some point our resources for dealing with emotions will run out and emotional exhaustion sets in.

3. HSP (highly sensitive) people

Highly sensitive people are susceptible to any change in the environment, so socializing can wear them down more than others. The nervous system of sensitive people is highly receptive to external influences , it receives more information and more stimuli.

These people react to lights, sounds and touch more intensely, they also pick up non-verbal cues and emotional information from other people more easily. This sensitivity requires additional processing resources and can make spending time interacting with others more tiring.

4. Too much socializing

Spending too much time socializing, even if we are not aware of it, can be unhealthy. Even extroverted, low-sensitivity, and self-motivated people can get a social hangover if they spend too much time with too many people. Finding the balance between spending time with others and with oneself is key to balancing energy levels .

For introverted or especially sensitive people, it is important to time socialization and not push yourself too hard during interactions, which is especially difficult because they tend to have fewer social resources than extroverts.

5. Pathological conditions

There are different psychological disorders that can alter mood and affect relationships with others. Depression is often accompanied by lethargy or irritability, which makes you not want to be around others. In addition, the loss of the ability to enjoy (anhedonia) makes it difficult to socialize .

People who suffer from disorders that involve hypervigilance or control of the environment can end up exhausted in any social situation, since they deplete their resources very quickly. These types of disorders need psychological treatment.

conclusion

If we feel hungover from socializing too much, it's because we've been interacting with people too often.

All of us, if we push ourselves beyond our social limits, can experience a social hangover . Each person's needs are different in terms of timing and frequency of social interactions. It is important to recognize what ours are so as not to exhaust our emotional resources and suffer from social hangovers.

However, to find the middle ground between solitude and socialization - key to maintaining both our physical and mental health - we will have to take some time and give up certain activities.