Single Mothers and School - How to Deal With Stress

Starting school is a challenging time for all parents. With fewer resources and no emotional support, single mothers end up stressing unnecessarily and unproductively. This emotional energy could help them focus on finding ways to help their children succeed in school, but also to stay calm.

First of all, it is important to remember that raising a child by both parents does not guarantee their success, and the fact that some children grow up with one parent does not increase their chances of having extra problems at school.

At the beginning of the school year, it is good too:

Go straight for a new beginning. Each time you enroll your children in a new school, you will need to be prepared to prepare several documents that can be requested - copies of court orders specifying custody, as well as other documents. Be prepared to designate emergency contacts if you are needed at school. If necessary, designate the other parent as an emergency contact.

Control your feelings. Remember that you have the right to express your feelings. Being a single mother changes everything. Usually, emotions are painful at first: anger, sadness, frustration, fear, shock, guilt, regret. These feelings may be shared by children.

The loss of a loved one must be made up for because the pain is manifested in the first stage. Everything is a challenge. Start by remembering the beautiful things you dreamed of and can still accomplish.

Get organized. See your list of what the school provides. If you don't have enough money, turn to friends or other resources for help. Make sure your children have a healthy breakfast, as well as lunch. Follow a regular bedtime routine so that little one can get enough sleep.

Tired children will struggle unsuccessfully to learn as will their classmates. Develop a program to monitor travel, book fairs, and other special events. A calendar on the refrigerator door works perfectly.

Let the children know your level of education. Research indicates that encouragement is far more important for a child's success in the end than the family's income or composition. Show your child that studies are important by reading together, accessing educational information online, and supervising homework.

Teachers cannot always give each child the attention they deserve. Teach children to wait their turn. Homework that requires patience, such as growing plants or doing multiple puzzles, strengthens important social skills for school success.

Team up with the teachers. Children need to know that you and their teachers are a team. Teachers are the key people in children's school life and almost all value their allies.

Beware of rumors. The experience of a single parent or a group with a single issue has nothing to do with your priorities. If a "big problem" arises with a major impact, the school administrators and the organization of parents and teachers will find the solution.

Make sure you check your children's backpacks every day. Visit the school's website frequently for routine updates and general information.

Find time to listen. Children will only tell us what we need to know if we value what they have to say. This means listening carefully without interrupting. Trying to perform multiple tasks or take a look at your phone or other devices indicates that you are not paying attention.

As the children describe how it was at school, you need to focus on the difficulties they have encountered. Some children see a challenge when they have to work independently. Other children may feel isolated and without friends, if they are placed in a classroom with unknown classmates.

It is important to express empathy and respect for your child's feelings. Shouting, calling by another name, or using other deliberately painful words should not be in a home where mutual respect is appreciated. Such behavior will certainly not be tolerated in the classroom.

Take the time to understand the complaints about the teacher. Your child's problems with the teacher can make you jump. When your child tells you that he doesn't like the teacher or that work is boring, it's hard to know how to react. Speaking ill of teachers towards your children is not exactly a good idea.

If you disagree with a teacher about a mission or how a particular situation has been handled, keep this difference of opinion between adults. Undermining a teacher's credibility or authority is especially harmful to children growing up in a single-parent home. Your children may already face conflicting expectations and demands from parents living in separate households.

Habits to follow. Certain habits help children to adapt and feel safe during times of change. Try to identify those habits that matter to them, such as playing with a friend. You need to know that each family has its rituals.

And you better keep some in mind. The way you wake up your children in the morning or tell them at bedtime are rituals that you can easily keep, and they will make your children feel safe, honey. It's good to create new habits.

Ask for and accept the help of those around you. On days when your children or you get sick, you need to have a backup plan. This would involve talking to your employer about any days off.

Involve children in the decision-making process. Ask the children what they think about changing furniture, about buying things. Find out how much time he wants to spend with his father.

Involve your children in household chores. Even small children can carry some household chores on their shoulders, such as arranging toys and clothes. Divide the tasks equally among all.

At times, you may not be able to change the way others view you, but you may be prepared for various reactions so that you can form a strong sense of pride in your family.

Try these tips:

• Children are often asked where they live or their family situation. You can help the children by suggesting routine answers, such as "I live with my mother," or "I have two houses, one with my mother and one with my father."

• Spend time with other single mothers: It's a chance to show your child that there are other mothers just like you.

• Read books with your children about a single parent or children living in two separate homes, or watch movies with single-parent families.

• Identify family strengths and discuss them with children. Strengths could include: we are there for each other, we are good citizens (probably helping our neighbors), or taking part in community events.

• Keep social contacts as long as you can and encourage children to invite friends/colleagues home.

• Talk to co-workers, the employer, teachers about changing circumstances. This will help them to support you and your children.