OUR EDEN

You lead me to the place you said love begins and ends, smiling but hesitant my hand merged with yours and we found ourselves atop Eden. I never seen a sky as open and blue as on that day and the blades of grass so soft under my feet, with a color of green so rich, as if to let me know how wealthy I was, gave me certainty of us. It felt like we were Adam and Eve reinvented, with you being the only tree of knowledge I forever wanted to eat from. You sung my soul happy in Eden and laughed and danced with me until our legs left us and our bellies craved a sweet thing. We made our way towards a pear tree a little ways from us and I took a seat on the gray colored wood bench just beside it. I watched as you moved strategically around the tree, looking for perfection. With a soft “ah-ha” from your lips, your strong hands ever so lightly tugged at the pear and it gave effortlessly.

Walking towards me you polished it with your favorite red shirt and presented it to me like it was symbolic of your heart. Obliging I took the pear and looked over its ripe light green and yellow shinning flesh, pulled it close and took a bite. The crisp snap on my teeth, was followed by a sweet and slightly sour flow of its juice, and left upon my tongue granules of sand like bodies. I smiled satisfied and you leaned into me slowly, waiting for you to ask for a kiss, with your lips curled to the sun, and my heart fast paced, iris to iris you said, “You’ve got juice on your chin”, we busted out hysterically in laughter and when we couldn’t laugh anymore you took your hand and gently wiped the juice away. We gazed at each other knowing another level of love was born. The clouds above us began to move towards each other forming into one, from afar off we heard the sound of war in the heavens, we both knew what it meant yet we kept our gaze on each other like we didn’t know rain was coming……

Trembling earth moved us abruptly into the midst of changing seasons, there we became undone, a fragile thing allowed to halt our love. There we were anniversary three with our souls stuck in year two, stalled in time, layered in hurt. Hearts of flesh now hardened in place, feelings numb and fainting, dying for relief but knowing the cost would be a goodbye neither of us were ready to gift each other. Afraid to call the game too soon, not knowing if this was a test or a sign, not knowing if we are to let it go or to press through. Time of bliss stolen away and held captive by indecision, we stayed stagnant to long, until one of our prayers were finally answered and nature began to run its course. We tilted far off the axis and fell into a dark nearly inhabitable place, still we chose each other, fought, affirmed, and prayed our way through until light came. We embraced and delighted in it’s warmth, feeling victorious, however it was clear this light we thought would shine our path to guide us out, were only flames stinging, scaring, and consuming everything we built and hoped to be. It was in the heat we truly saw one another and that fire highlighted our imperfections. Facades melted away with the root of who we are exposed, we are unarmed and at the mercy of each others point of view.

Anniversary four approaches with our memories stuck in year two and no recollection of year three. We drifted through it lids lowered, minimal words spoken, and still no lessons learned. These days I tire easily, exhaustion covers my ambitions like a blanket, the goals of us shelved and dusted. My dreams even seem to be tainted and rule in favor of our demise. Visions of irises void of loves light, our Eden is no longer the same. There we stand atop it, the grass a faded green and straw colored, it’s blades now cut under my feet, your voice so sweet now silent and laughter succumb to muffled cries. No where to rest our hearts with the gray colored wood bench rotted away and unsuitable to uphold us. Bellies now sour and that pear tree, our tree, yields no perfected fruit. Flesh brown and easily impressed upon, juice drips without piercing of its body and it easily falls apart in our hands, rain is coming…..

Out of my slumber, arising uncertain but sure of what to be, I looked to find you along side me still holding onto your gaze of me, eyes watered and wide, mouth parted but no words to fill it. Bowing my head and exhaling slowly, I braced myself for the downpour. Under darkened skies and gathering of gray clouds, our souls stirred to the clashing sound of war in the heavens. Smiling but hesitant my hand merged with yours, some how I knew the end would be, taking our final walk to the pear tree.