Open Letter to Anyone with Panic Disorder.

I'd like to start off by saying this to anyone with Panic Disorder: I hear you. I have Panic Disorder myself. I've woken up in the middle of the night fearing for my life. I've freaked out while driving, eating, showering and doing other basic activities. This like all other Mental Illnesses are invisible. It's not a cold, you can't tell someone has it. You can't just tell someone to rest for a week and hope they feel better. It's a daily battle. It involves adjusting your life, making it as unstressful as possible, and you still have them sometimes. Do people realize how hard it is to simply survive with a Mental Illness? Those that have one do, but those that don't have no idea. I wouldn't expect them to. I wouldn't want them to either. I bet we wish they could help us, I bet we wish they knew what to say and how to make us feel better.

I think the unfortunate thing that I've learned is that people who don't understand will just tell us to calm down and tell us that everything's going to be okay. Unfortunately that's all people usually know to do. And the exhausting part is trying to educate the people who don't want to be. They don't understand how difficult it is when we have a panic attack, they don't understand how scary it is to actually think you're going to die. They don't understand how scary it is to think that you're being smoothered or feeling like you're having a heart attack. I've felt all of those feelings. I've had all of those moments, where I thought perhaps I was going to die. I've had all those moments of feeling like I was being smoothered. It's scary. It's also debilitating to live in a world that just doesn't care. People don't want to.

I've had to do alot of work on myself to lessen my panic attacks and I'm here to maybe give you some tips on how to cope with one better. It's not easy! But I hope I can help in some capacity. I usually try and reach out to someone and talk to them about nothing. Absolutley nothing. But then my anxiety kicks into overdrive with thoughts such as, maybe this person doesn't care, maybe this person doesn't want to listen to me talk, or maybe I'm bothering them. So most of the time I don't reach out to anyone. Can anyone else relate? If so I hear you and I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you felt like you couldn't reach out to someone in a time of need out of fear of bothering them. I'm sorry that you felt like you were alone in a moment where you needed someone the most. I'm sorry that you felt like you were going to die. I'm sorry that because you felt like you were going to die, you felt even worse because you were alone. I'm sorry to anyone whose ever had a panic attack no matter how severe. It's still debilitating nonetheless.

Have any of you ever felt silly after a panic attack? Have you ever felt like an absolute idiot? I have. I've been in that situation to. I was made to feel that way by my ex. But that's a different story. However to anyone whose been in that situation I'd like to say this to you: You're not an idiot and you have no reason to feel silly. It was not your fault that you had a panic attack. You are perfectly fine for having one. And nobody should ever make you feel ashamed.