Not a good writer but i love to share

As much as i promise myself to update my blog and created story here few days ago, i just can't seem to find a right time. So many things needed to be done yet i have so little time. I mean i've been down with fever for almost a week and i HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO DO and i just feels like crying. Is this what they called adulthood??? Sometimes i wish i could have just freeze the moment and take as much time as i need. I've been brainstorming about what should i post on my blog for a really long time since i spend time on my blog more but trust me I've had only like 3 post because i've been stuck at so many drafts. I mean, i really love to share and have opinions about literally everything but i ended up in a draft.

Honesty, I've been stuck at this post for few days ..... After watched almost idk 5 movies i think, I finally came out with a topic.

Love. Yes, love.

Almost every movie that i watched, it always related to love. Be it friendship, family or any form of relationship.

Love is very subjective. I mean all of us have different perspectives, different opinions about love. There's just no right or wrong for it. For me, love is something magical, and it can be painful as hell. There's so many different ways of showing love. I mean how you show your friends and family you love them, it is not the same.. Right? And you can literally love everything. Like the smell of the rain or dancing under the streets light. Or you could have love how the perfect salmon was cooked. Love, is very very wide. When you love, you will be full of emotions. You're so in love that even if that person hurt you, you still won't leave them. And that's darling, that's what makes love blind. They said, love is beautiful thing. It makes you feel like you could fly, it feels like sunshine and rainbows. They said it was simple. How simple it is??

I love this quotes from movie, The Holiday by Kate Winslet. "I have found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said, "Journey's end in lover's meeting." Oh, what an extraordinary through. Personally I have not experience anything remotely close that, but I'm more then willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose i think about love more than anyone ever should. I'm constantly amazed by it's sheer power to alter and define out lives. It was also Shakespeare who said, "Love is blind." Now that is something I know to be true. For some, quite inexplicably, love fades. For others, love is simply lost. But then of course, love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then there is another kind of love, the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. It's called 'Unrequited Love". It makes me realize that not everyone are lucky. There are people out there, who fall in love alone. The one who are the victims of one-sided affairs, the un-loved ones.

I personally think that we can perceived love in so many ways. It is either prioritize it or be afraid of it.

Just like others, i have loved and lost too. Trust me, i have gone through all the process too. I wasn't prepared at first. I tried to avoid it but the longer i run, the more i felt empty. I have no choice but to go through it. I swear IT WAS SO HARD at first. I was so CONFUSED all the times. All of the emotions, I felt it at the same time. But slowly, over the years.. I have learnt that building a relationship with people is a very powerful thing. It did involved varieties of emotions and events.

I always craved for love.

I always wanted to have that one person I can just give my all to and treat them so preciously because I know exactly how it feels to be alone when all you need is someone to cry on. I always wanted to have a friendship that would last long. I always wanted to let everyone know that I am here for them no matter what the situation is. Without getting judged, without getting betrayed. All i ever wanted is to make people happy and feel appreciated as much as I could and give them everything. But, the more i prioritize them the more i felt drained. Empty. Sad. I gave them, people around me everything, but what about me..??

I felt that i lost myself for quite sometime. When I had my heartbreak and was left alone, i was so UNCOMFORTABLE with myself and being on my own. I felt alone for so many days, probably months. At that time, i felt useless. I felt that i was never enough for everyone no matter what i do and that's probably why i worked so hard for people around me. I have INSECURITIES. My level of insecurities, over-thinking, doubts for myself are way way too HIGH and the WORST part is I never gave myself a break, anytime of the day. It's like I've left myself behind and focused on everything else.

I mean it was crazy, isn't it ?

How can one actually forget to do much for themselves or try to make themselves happy?

Ahh, it is easier said than done. The most crucial things is, to take as much time as you want to focus and work on ourselves. I had faults, i make mistakes, i messed up so many times. It took me so long to finally forgive myself. And others too. I forgave everyone else before I learned to forgive myself. Love is such a great and amazing thing. But somehow it can bring out the worst in you too. Love is something everyone should have, experience. You can't truly be in love or expect to have a successful love encounter when you have no love for yourself.

That's why we need to love ourselves more. Put ourselves first no matter what. Listen to our hearts.

Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve. Eventually, others will bring you down, and you'll start to believe what they say. But that's it. Every each of us have different life path, have different purposes in life. You are not what people say or think you are. You are what you choose to make of yourself, with the right mind and consistency.

So that's just it. My long long post that took me days to finally finished it.

Adiosss