No Regrets

I was ready for the business world after I graduated high school, to move into the work field, spread my wings and fly successfully toward adulthood.  I had a fresh young mind with a new outlook and was ready to change the world. I strategically designed an eye catching resume that I knew would land me a job.

The next day I woke up early and flawlessly put on my make-up. I had a cup of coffee and practiced what to say during an interview. I had prepared myself well. I went to the employment office and gave them my resume and they tested me for secretarial skills and I passed them with flying colors. I had taken business classes in high school and also worked as a secretary. The employment office sent me to several different places and and I interviewed and filled out applications throughout the day. I intelligently answered all the interviewers questions that were asked of me. And then, at last all the preparation had paid off; I was finally hired in the business office at the water department. 

The first day of my new job generated a changed perspective on life.  I looked like an INGENIOUS professional woman dressed in a navy blue and white pen stripe business suit; and to conclude a final effect of COMPETENCY, a pair of distinguished matching pump heels completed a statement of someone with a HIGH BROW MENTALITY. My auburn hair was tightly pulled back in a coiled bun.  And, my circle shaped wire rim glasses added a KEEN CEREBRAL appearance.

I had my own area with a huge desk.  There was a typewriter, calculator, and a full day of paperwork drudgery,  strategically stacked on my escritoire. My perfectly manicured fingertips were rapidly striking the typewriter keys.  The digits on my hands were rhythmically tapping a steady tempo to some back ground music playing on the radio.  I halted the beat of my appendages for a moment and gazed around the room.  The other employees were grimly absorbed into their prescribed character roles. I sighed and was preoccupied with deep thoughts for a moment, when a customer entered the rotating door to the office.  He strolled quaintly to the service counter. 

I gracefully lifted my industrious body from the comfort of the secretarial chair, and waltzed elegantly across the floor to greet the man; and with each flowing movement, I projected an image of INTELLIGENCE. There was a bulletproof glass pane that separated me from him.  He cleared his throat and requested to have water service at his new residence.  He told me the address of his modernistic home.  I proceeded to input the acquired data into the computer.  I noticed that there were several town houses at that given location. And, with an ASTUTE mannerism, I asked the man, "Which condom are you moving into sir?  Our records indicate that there is more than one condom existing at that site."

The room filled with laughter and I could not understand why everyone was giggling.  Then, one of my coworkers glanced at me and said, "Karen, it is not a condom that he is moving into; it is a condo!" My cheeks blushed with STUPIDITY, and I wanted to go hide somewhere, but all I could do was stand there and think about how: I looked the part, and I looked smart, until I opened my mouth and spilled out the bliss of IGNORANT words.  Underneath all the hair dye, my real identity had been discovered; I WAS A TRUE BLONDE. There was nothing left to do, but laugh with everyone else.

Karen Kidd