"No matter how good the feelings, all lost to the chat when this sentence"

It is said that language is emotional, can give people warm, can also bring people hurt.

When a person has saved up full of expectations, the moment by the other side of a perfunctory or impatient words defeated, the heart of love sooner or later will die because of the heart cold.

Love is fragile, like fallen leaves in the wind.

What breaks it may not be the wind or the waves, but the smallest thing in life.

Sometimes, then good feelings, lost to a word when chatting.

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- Whatever you want -

In the variety show Goodbye, Lover, between the scriptwricianLao Wang, who is in the cooling-off period of divorce, and the powerful singer Ya Qiong, there are often such words:

"I don't care, whatever you like."

In fact, from his performance in the show, he is not a perfunctory, but the action is greater than everything.

But he neglects an important part of intimacy, which is to be considerate of the other person's feelings.

Everyone needs to be validated, to be affirmed.

Perhaps he was inadvertent, not perfunctory.

But language is an art, and if you can speak, you can save yourself a lot of trouble.

But if you don't, then good feelings, will be defeated in your word.

This is why I broke up with an ex.

Often I ask him, "What's for dinner today? Is it OK to go to XX?" ", "Would you like to go to XX this weekend?

Most of the time I get the reply is I don't care, just can.

This is the wrong way to have a conversation. One person wants affirmation and the other doesn't give it.

It's not that hard to change. Change "I don't care" to "Yeah, let's go" and change "whatever you want" to "whatever you want."

But a lot of people, not won't, but don't want to.

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- I'm busy -

Prudhomme wrote in the Galaxy:

"Knowing the pain of faraway places, knowing the infinite estrangement of hearts in crowds, while you and I, like two stars seemingly adjacent, burn up alone in the eternal solitude."

People can not afford to perfunctory, also can not afford to cold.

When we are separated by the network, can not see each other's demeanor, expression, through the cold text communication, not only afraid of you say "whatever you want", but also afraid of you say "I am busy".

In real life, do not know how many feelings, also lost to a "I am very busy now".

In this world, no company of love, the result will only let people down.

A long relationship begins when you meet someone who is willing to be free for you no matter how busy you are.

The pace of life is so fast these days. Who isn't busy? Everyone's time is precious.

And whether a person is willing to give you time, is the most direct proof of love.

As the host, Big Bing, said:

"Really have a heart to send you a journey, east, west, north and south, really have a heart to help you, three moments now today, why look back another day."

Care about you, will always put you in the heart, no matter how busy, he is not willing to let you wait, not to ignore your feelings.

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- If you think so, I can't help it -

The most common negative relationship pattern in a relationship is when one partner says, "If you feel this way, I can't help it."

Some of the conversations I've seen happen when one partner finds traces of an ex on or near their partner's phone:

"What about this guy on your phone?"

"I refriended him at the last party. I haven't talked much."

"Really? I saw you guys pretty close together in your brother's moments."

"If it bothers you, I can't help it."

The two quarreled, and then engaged in a brief cold war until one side gave in and made peace.

But as it turned out, the problem was by no means resolved.

In fact, sometimes we just want a serious explanation from the other side, rather than two hands open inaction.

As far as the quarrel itself is concerned, the boy is concerned about the thing itself, while the girl is concerned about the other person's attitude during the quarrel.

Two people get along, must not throw the problem to a person, and then let her magnify.

Fighting is also a form of communication, which is far more damaging than the "whatever you want to think" attitude.

In this unconscious mode of expression, a lot of people who say this a lot will explain it by saying,

"I was forced to say that."

"I felt tired to communicate because I couldn't explain clearly, so I had to say so."

Most people who hear the other person say this sentence will automatically question themselves:

"Am I being unreasonable?"

"Is it wrong that I want a serious explanation? I just want to see his attitude."

Couples in this kind of avoidant communication have strayed from the direction of "what are we talking about?" and become entangled in emotional turmoil and conflict.

Learning to communicate effectively in any relationship is really important.

Those who prefer to avoid communication must realize that their attitude is causing harm to the other person.

And the evaded side, also should pay attention to the control of emotions, do not communicate with emotions.

Talking well is the key to a lasting relationship.

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Hayao Miyazaki has said:

"If you like someone, take the extra step toward them. If he sees you coming and makes no attempt to greet you, stop."

No matter how good feelings are, if they are not cherished, they are not worth paying sincerely.

So, to you perfunctory do not go heart, let him out of your heart; Do not take the initiative to contact you, there is no need to disturb; There are those who are unable to communicate, can not change the scattered bar, let him learn to communicate again to love.

Take back their enthusiasm and sincerity, the future is still a long time, I believe that one day will meet a constant response, everything has to account for people.

Leave your heart to the right person, the rest of your life will not be let down.

~end~

If you have any ideas, feel free to leave them in the comments section.

~This is Antoine, and I hope you find pleasure in each of my articles~