My Wedding Night

I got married when I was seventeen. My friend Connie was a bridesmaid and a friend from high school. She was a year older than me. She had been dating my husband’s brother, who was also in the wedding party. They had recently broken up.

My husband’s brother was my friend before her. I felt bad for him, but what do you do? On the rehearsal night, he showed up drunk and passed out at the altar. We weren't sure he would be at the wedding the next day.

The next day was okay until we got to the reception that was held at a resort. He chased her through the place and argued with her in front of all the guests until we finally decided we had enough and went to our cabin which had two bedrooms, that we were sharing with the best man, and his wife.

We took Connie with us when we left and told her she could sleep on the sofa in the cabin. During the night, my husband’s brother came in and locked himself in the bathroom with her. They were loud enough to wake my husband and me and when we came out to see what was going on, it was clear that she wanted nothing to do with him and he wasn't hearing her.

My husband, who was older, and wasn't going to continue dealing with this mess, told his brother he had to leave. When he refused to leave, my husband punched him, and he went down and bounced up from the floor. I had never seen anything like that before or since.

His brother left and my husband said, Connie should sleep in the room with us. And she did. For years she would tell people that she slept in the middle, between us, on our wedding night. I'm sure some didn't know her well and believed that may be what happened.

I didn't care who she would tell this to. It was our inside joke and I wouldn't tell ever what happened that night, until now.

I lived with Connie’s family when I was in the tenth grade. My mom and I did not always get along when I was a teen. Getting married at seventeen may give you an idea of how I felt ready to be on my own and she didn’t think I was.

One of my memorable experiences with Connie was that spring before I lived at her house, the ice had just melted at the dam and she was intent on being the first to swim that year. So she hopped into the water and climbed right back out. She then said that she can say that she was the first person to swim that year.

I told her that no she wasn’t as she did not swim, she merely hopped in and out again. So, she went back in and swam in a circle, and climbed out. This time she was purple and shivering. I told her it was okay now to say she was the first to swim that year.

We experienced many things together, from hitchhiking to Montana, from and back to Minnesota, to working on the carnival, to fishing, feeding and milking cows, riding horseback, and watching her shoot snakes that got too close to her house.

I wish I had a picture of the first time I saw that. She went running through the house with a shotgun, with her work boots on and a long shirt, no pants.

Then there was the time we were at a church dance and we went to the bathroom together, and I got the toilet seat and she tried the sink and broke it. Water was shooting all over the floor and someone who recognized me called my mother.

My mother came flying out to Connie’s house, where a party was going on. When she pulled up, I was in the car with a friend and I was told that the party was over and everyone that didn’t live there needed to go with her back to town.

I think this is enough and you get the picture. I was too young to marry at seventeen. It was just a good thing we didn’t start having children until I was twenty-one. Connie, my husband, and I all had trouble with alcohol and drugs, especially alcohol.

Because it is recovery month I can tell you that I am a woman in long-term recovery and what that means to me is I have 41 years with no alcohol or drugs on September 26, 2021.

My first husband died from his addiction. My friend died from cancer, and her struggle with alcohol didn’t help. Both tried recovery and didn’t make it. We don’t all make it, and we don't give up on anyone as you never know who will and who won't find recovery.