My Perfect BirthDate

All I wanted to do this year was celebrate my birthday alone.

Now, let’s get something straight right off the bat, okay? I love my family. I do. My husband is amazing, and he treats me better than I deserve sometimes. Issac is handsome, kind, funny and the best cook in the entire world. Then there’s Pip and Beth: my adorable six year old twins. Pip is incredibly smart and sharp witted. He has a smart aleck comeback for every situation; yet is compassionate enough to never cross the line of being mean. And Beth is Issac in mini-me form. Whether it’s video games, making a mess in the kitchen or wearing nothing but cargo pants and superhero t-shirts - whatever my husband does, I can always count on it being done two-fold.

As I said before, I love my family. I want that to be indisputably clear.

But…

But, just for a couple of hours, I wanted to be alone. So when I said to Issac that I wanted a date night, I meant a solo date night. Just me, an empty house, some music, some greasy chinese food, a bubble bath and a glass of wine. It would be a first. A first solo date; something that my mind, body and soul had been calling out for for months.

I was honestly expecting him to be offended. Issac typically plans some kind of family activity for us and the kids; something fun, like a trip to the wildlife preserve or a movie night. He always cooks a wonderful meal for us all and then the two of us go out for cake once we get the kids in bed. It’s always a special time and I always enjoy it.

I didn’t want him to be hurt; especially if he had already begun planning something. But, to my relieved surprise, he actually thought it was a great idea. He laughed and said that he should have thought of it for his own birthday present a little while back.

My birthday fell on a Saturday this year, and so after a lovely picnic lunch at the park, the kids gave me their birthday presents and Issac packed them up in the car and off they went to a hotel in town. I resisted at first, feeling guilty about my family being misplaced for the night. However, once the kids found out about the hotel’s pool, it was a done deal. Issac assured me that it was fine with all of them; and so after a few big hugs, I waved goodbye to my three favourite people in the world.

It was funny, but as soon as the car drove away and I closed the front door, I momentarily was at a total loss of what to do. I found myself leaning against the door, and let out a sigh that must have lasted at least five seconds. I looked around the living room, which was suddenly so quiet and still - as though it were a photograph.

This is what I wanted.

Right?

Right. Enough of that. My family gave me an incredible gift, and I wasn’t about to waste it.

After putting on my Ballads of the 90s playlist, I grabbed the phone and ordered the chinese food. I ordered a lot. Way more than I would eat tonight, but I figured why not make sure there would be leftovers for the kids when they got home tomorrow afternoon? I may be relaxing tonight, but I’m still a mom, and this mom is practical.

Once the food was on the way, the next step was digging the box of wine out of the pantry. I had ordered it so long ago, after my mom had given me a Bright Cellars gift certificate for Christmas. I had told Issac that I would get to it eventually, and now was my chance. I dug out the brown box and opened it up, only to be surprised to find two bottles. I could have sworn I had ordered three. But Issac was a beer guy and I knew the kids wouldn’t have touched it. I paused, brow furrowed, but didn’t linger on it too long. I grabbed the bottle of Merlot and made my way to the bathroom.

Pip had gotten me a lavender bubble bath for my birthday, which made me smile as I poured some into the tub as the hot water filled it up. The scent was instantly calming, and I smiled to myself as I added a few of my bath salts and lit a couple candles on the counter.

“Perfect” I said with a proud grin as I heard the doorbell ring. “Right on time” I added with a skip in my step as I made my way to the door.

When I said earlier that I ordered a lot of food, I wasn’t exaggerating. The delivery guy handed me three full plastic bags. He made a joke along the lines of “somebody’s hungry” to which I awkwardly laughed as I shut the door and walked the food to the kitchen and set it on the table. I stared at it all for a moment. A mountain of white styrofoam, smelling of orange chicken and pan fried vegetables. Delicious, but overwhelming, and my heart sank a little when I thought of the home cooked meal that Issac would likely have prepared.

“What are they having for dinner?” I wondered.

No, Stop it. I turned up the volume on my phone and let the haunting sound of the Jewel’s You Were Meant For Me lull me back into the zen state I had been longing for. I walked back into the bathroom with my wine in hand, and turned off the lights.

As I sank my body into the tub, I let out another one of those five second sighs. Everything was exactly as I had asked for. The water was lovely. The bath salts felt great on my aching muscles and the aroma of lavender filled my senses. My dinner was waiting for me in the kitchen, my music was playing and I was just about to take a sip of the Merlot.

Then I saw it.

There, written in pink glitter on the glass I brought to my lips were three simple words that melted my heart.

Happy Birthday, Mom!

The glass had been my gift from Beth.

My family had been wonderful. They had done everything in their power to give me the exact gift that I had asked for. The bubble bath from Pip, the glass from Beth, the trip to the hotel from Issac. They did all of it to grant my birthday wish. And it broke my heart. Because my birthday wish was to be away from all of them. And as much as I knew that I wasn’t in the wrong for wanting and needing a little ME time, the decision to be away from my family on my birthday, and their complete understanding of that wish suddenly felt really, really wrong.

Right on cue, as though the universe was telling me that I was correct in feeling an intense amount of mom guilt, the song Thank God I Found You by Mariah Carey came on. It was our wedding song, and the song I sang to the twins when I was pregnant with them.

“I’m being crazy” I thought, trying to remind myself that there was nothing to feel bad about. But then, why was I feeling so sad all of a sudden? Then it hit me. It wasn’t so much guilt for wanting to be alone for my birthday - it was that I missed them. You always hear that the grass is always greener on the other side of the pasture. Well, today I fully understand that sentiment. I knew that I wanted to be alone, but as soon as it was possible, all I wanted to do was celebrate my birthday with my family.

Go figure!

Next thing I knew, I was out of the tub, blowing out the candles, grabbing the take out I had ordered and hopping into the car. The drive to the hotel was a quick one, and I felt content with my decision as I pulled into a spot right in front of the pool. It was dark out, but by the lantern light on the deck, I could see Issac and the kids playing Marco Polo in the water. I was immediately smiling, and called out to them with arms lifted high in the air, holding the bags of chinese food for them to see.

Pip and Beth let out squeals of excitement and Issac was shaking his head with a knowing smile on his lips. I could tell right away that he had been expecting me to show up. Honestly, that man knows me well, and as the three of them climbed out of the pool and the kids grabbed for their dinner I set down on one of the tables, he reached over and wrapped his arm around me. “Right on time” he teased.

The rest of the night was a lot of fun. After dinner, showers and getting into our pajamas, Issac pulled out the Lego sets he had gotten. One for each of us. Myself included, which we all did while laughing and joking on the floor of the hotel room.

“Dad said you’d come,” Beth said as she helped me put the last piece on my princess castle.

“Did he now?”

“Yup” added Pip. “That’s why we went swimming first. He said you’d probably bring dinner.”

“Well, who could blame me? I just missed you guys so much” I said, giving the kids a hug.

After our Lego building party was over, and we enjoyed a few cartoons on tv, it wasn’t long before the twins were passed out in the king sized bed. Issac and I still were sitting on the floor at the foot, and I intertwined my fingers with his and laid my head on his shoulder.

“We totally could have done this all at home” I admitted, knowingly.

Issac laughed. “Yeah, but we don’t have a pool at home” he assured, trying to make me feel a little less guilty. It worked.

“So, how did you know I would abandon my solo date?” I asked him.

He turned serious for a moment and looked me in the eyes. “Because you feel like you don’t deserve or shouldn’t have asked for it. But you do and you should have.” I looked at him and he held out a large paper bag. “Happy Birthday” he continued.

I took the bag and opened it up to find a fortune cookie, a small bottle of bubble bath, the missing bottle of wine from the pantry and a key card. I looked up at him in both awe and confusion.

“The key card is for the adjoining room” he answered, gesturing with his head to the door by the window. “I love you. You deserve to have what you really want for your birthday, regardless of how much you don’t think you deserve it.”

I hugged him tight. God, I loved this man.

“But what about you guys?” I questioned. My innate feeling of guilt showing itself again.

“Are you kidding me? We’re out of room” Issac insisted with a chuckle as we looked at the kids sprawled out on the bed. “Now go.”

“Thank you” I said with a kiss as I grabbed the bag and made my way into the room he’d gotten for me.

And so, in the end, I got the best of both worlds. Although it didn’t go quite according to plan, I did eventually get my First Solo Date. “Perfect” I said, smiling to myself as I sat in the tub, drinking my wine out of an Avengers sippy cup with my three true loves in the very next room.