Musings on 'my' Money

I think the most balanced view I've had around money was when I was a young child. My parents helped me learn how to divide my allowance into 3 different categories: Spend, Save, and Give. They had me put different amounts of money into 3 jars or boxes and label each of them. Of course, I was always most drawn to the 'spend' box, imagining what next toy I could buy and how much I had.

Saving didn't seem overly appealing at first, since I didn't really think about the future much anyway at that age. My parents helped instill the value of saving and investing but I was admittedly a slow learner when it came to financial responsibility. Sometimes I would look at the coins in the "save" box and wish I could just add it to the money I was allowed to spend so I could buy cooler toys today instead of 'eventually.' Looking back I realize that my parents instilling the concept of saving helped me to curtail some of the impulsivity that would dominate my life at certain times.

Giving some of my money to those in need early on was a great practice that has stuck with me to this day. Being charitable can help loosen the possessive grip that is so easy for us to have in our culture. The reason I put the word 'my' in quotations in the title is because ultimately money is simply like a stream of energy flowing through our world rather than a personal possession as such. This is a hard concept to grasp in a world dominated by the notions of ownership and accumulation of more and more. Ultimately there is no lasting satisfaction to be found in relative phenomenal existence. We've all heard of "miserable millionaires," (and maybe bereft billionaires!) The energy put into attaining all of this material wealth can quickly stagnate and wealthy people often turn to philanthropy in order to feel better about themselves and use their abundance for the service of others.

There are many people (myself included) that have experienced living with large amounts of financial debt in various forms. My substance use caused me to declare bankruptcy years ago due to overwhelming credit card debt. Many people are in debt for much more noble reasons such as trying to provide the best for their families under difficult circumstances. Debt in general seems to be the ultimate manifestation of the sense of lack and limitation that we as human beings can experience.

The concept of having "negative money" seems like a pretty grim reality given the ubiquity and necessity of the current financial system for most human beings. It can feel like, "Not only do I not have enough money for myself, but I also owe all these people and institutions! What the hell am I going to do..." What I've come to see is that the first step is to change my relationship to the whole thing in addition to taking the positive action steps needed on a daily basis.

The spiritual teacher Matt Kahn in the video above talked about how he used his credit card debt to actually affirm his abundance. He would focus on the fact that he was always able to at least pay the minimum on his card, which affirmed how abundant he already was. He would also practice getting excited when he saw his bill in the mail to counteract the sense of "uh oh!" that he had before. This idea seemed kind of ridiculous to me at first to be honest, but I've really sat with it and started practicing it lately. What I came up with is that even debt is indirectly an expression of our infinite abundance. When I look at a massive credit card bill, it represents the memories of all the awesome stuff I was able to manifest in the past.

Admittedly, in my own case my debt represented an abundance of substance abuse. For many people, their debt represents an ability to send their kids to good schools, to live in a nice house, start a profitable business, and so on. We can also talk about good debt vs. bad debt but in this case I'm using the concept of any debt whatsoever as a means of affirming past, present, and future abundance rather than solidifying a false belief of lack and limitation.

Even the ability to declare bankruptcy in the face of my debt somehow affirms how blessed I am. The very financial system that I spent so much time railing against has within it the grace to simply allow me to be absolved of the consequences of my own self-destructive financial choices while also being educated about better spending and saving habits.

This perspective is not meant to be a means of bypassing or denying the stressful and difficult reality of people experiencing a lot of financial debt. To tell a struggling university graduate that their massive student loans are somehow a sign of their abundance would be insensitive to say the least. I'm just sharing perspectives on what is helping me shift my own attitudes and perceptions about money in general and how to have a healthier relationship with the rather complicated systems we still find ourselves living in for the time being.

I bought some groceries today and as I paid for them my initial reaction was, "Lousy inflation, I remember getting way more food for way less money a few years ago..." Before this train of thought derailed me too much I started practicing gratitude and the affirmation of my present-moment abundance:

"Man, this bag is pretty heavy. I must have more food in here than I thought! Oh look, I spent a bit less this week on groceries than last week, and I still have lots of leftovers in the fridge. My roommate just cooked a nice meal for us, that was nice of her. That means what I bought today will last me even longer."

These are examples of positive statements that I've been using to replace the old regime of complaining and berating things I can't really control anyway. The Serenity Prayer has been very useful in this regard. There are action steps I can take, and I can pray for the guidance about what those are and learn to let go of obsessing over the big picture and things that are beyond my pay grade, so to speak.

I've only begun this process of changing my mindset and attitude towards money. It's been a work in progress because I picked up a lot of negative beliefs throughout the years. The idea that money is inherently sinful or bad stopped making sense when I realized how I could use even what little money I had to improve my own life and the lives of those around me. When I donated money to various charitable organizations it gave me the sense that I was working for something greater than myself as well. Knowing that my money is being used to end suffering in some form or another is a great way of generating gratitude and a feeling of abundance.

For those of us with spiritual inclinations I feel it is of paramount importance at this time to really examine our attitudes and beliefs around money and material abundance in general. It can still be easy to fall into the trap that in order to be 'spiritual' one has to live in poverty and renounce all worldly things. Thankfully, we live in an age of profound integration where the deep spiritual insights and teachings can be applied to the ever-changing world in which we find ourselves. Ultimately, by implementing these spiritual solutions we will further transform the old systems of the world in that will truly be beneficial to everyone. <3