Marriage Advice from a Divorced Woman
I never thought I would be a divorced woman. This is my advice so hopefully you won't become one.
When I got married a year and six months ago, I never thought I would get divorced. When I said "I do" the words "I don't" never crossed my mind. In my personal situation, it was unexpected when the time came to say goodbye. However, divorce is devastating. No matter the length of the marriage, no matter if no have children or you don't, and no matter if you know the best thing is to leave, divorce is devastating for everyone involved. Especially for you.
A little disclaimer: this isn't to tell you why you shouldn't get divorced. You know your relationship better than anyone and you need to do what is healthy for you. This advice is for everyone, married, not married, single, engaged. Everyone willing to listen to advice.
My first piece of advice sounds simple, but can be difficult in marriage. Respecting one another. Respecting your partner sounds simple! But, then there is that time when you find yourself not respecting their space, or their opinions, or their ideas. This word RESPECT is extremely important for a good, healthy marriage. And respect for one another does take time, it builds after time, and it takes a lot of mistakes. But staying true to respecting your partner and all that comes with them is really important.
Having fun with your spouse is extremely important in a relationship. Even if you don't have children, making time for each other is essential. Going to a movie, walking around the block, going out to dinner, anything that makes you laugh and enjoy one another's company.
And good sex. I would try for at least 3 times a week. And it doesn't count as your "fun time," either. It's a separate entity in itself and needs its own space in your lives. It doesn't have to be blow your mind, all night kind of thing every other day. It just needs to be a time to connect on an intimate level. And it needs to be satisfactory for both. Although that doesn't mean both of you need to orgasm. It just means that both are satisfied with the experience of being together and connecting with one another. But I do highly recommend orgasms are experienced regularly.
Sometimes you need space from one another! And that isn't a bad thing! People are people, humans are humans and we all need time to ourselves. Self-care is just as important as taking care of each other. Balancing relationships, marriages, work, money, kids, pets, cars, etc. can be exasperating! And to never make time for yourself can become overwhelming and stressful.
Being able to rely and trust each other is vital for a marriage. If you can't trust one another, your marriage will be difficult. And if one can't be relied upon then it creates unbalance and can destroy trust slowly.
My last piece of advice is to be helpful. Being helpful can mean different things to different people. Some just need help by you listening to them. Some need help by action, doing the dishes or vacuuming the floor or taking care of the kids for a hour. Others need help by taking over when they can't do it anymore. But be helpful to one another. Help each other in your times of need and be proactive about it.
There are a lot of advice tips I could give. Remember to say "I love you," remember to let them know you appreciate them, and remember to show them how much you care! There are plenty others, but these 6 things are my top choices.
Every marriage is different and every marriage has its own needs. I hope these help!
Thanks for reading!