Lucky to be Alive

• Do you have ever have that moment of wonder?
• That moment of consideration where you look around the room and realise how lucky you are to be alive?

Not those moments in which you look at your family and friends and smile but when you truly consider that against all of the odds in the universe, you are here.

Disease, hunger, war, famine, random accidents and evil. There are so many random factors that go into life that it is a miracle that any of us make tomorrow but we do and I am so grateful for this. Many of us are also grateful but how often do we acknowledge this and how often do we consider this wonder?

I put my hands up and will safely say that I rarely appreciate it for what it is. I spent many hours of my life glued to the television, my videogame consoles and my phone, when what I should be doing is dedicating my life to my wife, which I have done and she has done to me but we are all human. We need a break. We need a moment to put our feet up and forget, that feeling of wonder to arrive.

With the news of the horrible nurse that destroyed the lives of all of those families I was left in a state of shock, I think we all were as I kept asking myself, why?

• Why would someone do this to an innocent creature such as a baby?
• Was it some secret thrill or sick need that got here going?

I imagine that we will never find out and that makes it worse in many ways, as we are all searching for meaning in our lives.

• We know that deep down we are lucky to be here but we are always left with that burning question of why?
• Why am I here when so many others have not been able to survive the night?

• Why have I been able to have a chance at this life where on the whim of another, the plug was pulled far too early because they simply needed to be cruel?

How lucky I am to have possibilities where so many others cannot say the same? I know that I am lucky. I am lucky to have been able to meet the woman of my dreams. I am lucky to be living in London and I am so lucky to have the chance to start a family.

Starting a family is something that my wife and I want to do in order to pass on a legacy to do our lives as whilst we are loving every second of today, tomorrow will come. Maybe that is due to some freak accident, some cruelty or through the slow wielding of old father time, who knows? What I do know is that the older I get, the more grateful I become and the more I try to step back and embrace that wonder in the fact that I am still here.

Life is a collection of random occurrences where some say that every action is already predetermined and therefore, what is the purpose of even attempting to assign patterns? We reach to religion to explain when really, Murphy’s Law is what is prevalent here.

Murphy’s Law states that whatever can happen will happen, which perfectly illustrates the randomness of this reality in the consideration that I could leave work and be hit by falling debris.

I could arrive at the station to find a fist that punches me to the tracks. I have no idea. I could also try to play the lottery and discover that I have won by this time next week and that is what makes this life both exciting and terrifying.

I am 34 years of age. In a few days, I will move from the desirable 18-34 segment and into the 35-44, a step into the next level of my life, where responsibility and no sleep find me in the middle of the night. This is my future but it could also end up being the consideration that we are unable to have children and that will create a new reality.

Whatever can happen, will happen is not meant as a cop-out, it is meant as a statement of the reality around us. A thought that we should be grateful for every single thing that we are able to achieve and that we have in this universe as by some act of malice it can quickly and easily be taken away from us, which is not the level that we wish to be in.

I would love to guarantee to my wife that life will work out as we desire but that would be a lie. I hope that we are able to continue progressing in the manner of my choice but realistically, is this something that I could achieve? No, and I would never make a promise that I cannot keep as whatever can happen, will happen and while I have hope for the future, I realistically cannot guarantee everything.

What I can guarantee is that I will be as happy for as long as possible as life is a gift and it is wonderful. Do I appreciate it as much as I should do? Most likely not but I should and I will do so as much as possible from this point forward as every day I have is something for which I can and should be greateful for.