Low self-esteem/Low confidence

by christine rivas 2 years ago in dating / love / family

Based on how I have low self esteem and low confidence

Low self-esteem/Low confidence

It all started when I was a child. I was taken away from my family when I was three years old. I ended up in about 5 different foster homes before I was put in a home that would become my forever home. I honestly always thought that I wasn't actually apart of the family. I was always treated differently than the rest of my siblings. I never got all the cool toys, I would always be in trouble for something that I did not do, and I always had to clean the entire house while my siblings just sat around doing nothing. I was always told I was ugly and that I would never find anyone who would want me because I was too much to handle.

Then I finally met the person I thought I would be with for the rest of my life. It started out great, everything was perfect until I became pregnant with his child. He was sweet and amazing throughout the pregnancy but once I had the baby everything changed. He started smoking weed and drinking all day everyday. When this all started it was ok at first, but then he became violent. He tried to hit our son so I gave him to my mother thinking that was the best option. It turns out now that it wasn't. When we gave him up things got a lot worse. He would hit me, throw things at me, call me stupid, ugly, dumb, but the worst thing that he called me was a bitch... it was apparently my fault that we gave our son away. All of these things made me think that it was all my fault that I was getting called all of these names. It destroyed me inside and out.

I have finally found the perfect man for me, together we have a beautiful baby girl, and yet I still feel like I am not good enough for anyone. He tried so hard to uplift me, yet I still feel that I am ugly. He has woken up every single day since we have been together and given me a big kiss and tells me how beautiful I am. He never puts me down as a person and he always makes me feel special. He is very romantic, he may not think so but he is, every month on the day we got together he has bought me either flowers, a teddy bear/ stuffed animal, or both flowers and a stuffed animal. I have never in my life received a gift from anyone. By all the things that he has done for me so far, I have been able to slowly regain my self esteem and my confidence. Without him in my life I would probably still be sucked in a dark tunnel of despair. I know that it will take me sometime for me to regain everything about myself that I had lost but as long as I have my amazing boyfriend by my side it will be a lot easier.

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