Love Letters from Heather

To my friend, Zoe,

It was just a few short years ago when I accompanied my friend Natalie Harris to Orillia High School, where she was sharing her story with a couple of classes. In some ways, it feels like yesterday, but in terms of life changes, pandemics, and the journey of life, it feels like eons ago.

I sat in the back corner of the class; you sat near the front, on the left of the horseshoe arrangement of chairs. Your gaze peered downward for most of the presentation. To me, you looked angry, possibly rebellious.

I nearly fell off my seat when, after Natalie opened up the class for questions after her presentation, you put up your hand, then folded your arms and half-mumbled, half-spat your comment, head slightly turned so eye contact with Natalie was sideways.

“I’m really mad at my friend. I was going to kill myself and she called 911 on me.”

Holy doodles, this lesson just took a left turn.

I should have known that Natalie would handle it like the pro she is, former paramedic and, in general, a wise person.

“I know you are mad. I had a friend who did the exact same thing to me. But what she did was right. If I thought you were in danger, I would do the same thing…”

You tried to argue with her, but Natalie was firm, ending with, “I want to talk to you after class, okay?”

I don’t know what you two talked about but talk after class you did. My guess was that Natalie was making sure you weren’t in any immediate danger.

Nat, Courtney Taylor, and I were in the middle of developing a mental health anthology called Brainstorm Revolution, named after Natalie’s podcast. She asked you to share your story for the book.

It was probably the very next day I received your email. It was a free flow of consciousness that really encapsulated what you wanted others to know if they were facing mental illness. It was beautiful, but it wasn’t what the book was about—the book was simply stories, not advice, not reflections.

So, a few months later Natalie and I returned to Orillia High School to meet up with you again! As we sat in the high school library, I couldn’t help but notice some of your anger had dissipated. You seemed calmer and very eager to share your story to help others.

Together the three of us discovered your story for the book and you became a published author! But this is where you REALLY surprised me and taught me a big lesson—never underestimate a young person who has been afforded responsibility.

More than most of the contributors, you took your charge to share these stories of hope to the next level. You contacted the local TV station, were featured on the news, gave interviews to newspapers, attended book signings, and started public speaking (not only to your school but in front of large conferences for some big players in the arena of mental health such as Waypoint and New Path). And, last year, you received an award for all of your advocacy work. Oh…and your goodbye letter to your eating disorder (You can read it here.) has also been published on Vocal Media. But most importantly, you post some of the most epic memes on Facebook. Your dry sense of humour is priceless.

I admire your initiative. I apologize that I didn’t see that hidden inside you the first time I met you. You have taught me so much—not just about how amazing you are, but you also taught me to never judge a person’s potential. You have proven to me that seeds can grow and even blossom out of the deepest, darkest earth.

This isn’t to say that you don’t and won’t continue to face life’s many challenges and the roller coaster that is mental health. There have been and there will continue to be life’s lows. But I have seen you rise. I have seen surliness turn into passion, anger into direction, and withdrawal into action. You, my dearest Zoey, are a beacon of light.

I love you. I love the angry Zoey, the sad Zoey, the excited Zoey, the funny Zoey, the Zoey battling an eating disorder, the Zoey receiving the mental health advocacy award. All of you: the good times, the bad times, and everything in between.

I haven’t seen you face to face in a while. This whole pandemic thing has kicked get-togethers in the butt. However, I look forward to the day when I can hug you again.

Love you, girl!

Heather

PS. Who is the best character on The Office?