Loneliness Is A Serious Problem and Not Just Around the Holidays

Loneliness is something that everyone feels from time to time whether they’re willing to admit it or not.

Think about it. Hasn’t there been at least one occasion in your life where you felt a sense of loneliness, even if you didn’t tell anyone?

At the time, you probably recognized that what you were feeling would eventually pass, and for the most part, you could barely admit to yourself that you felt lonely, let alone share that information with someone else.

Maybe for you, the feeling of loneliness really did pass, so it’s something you eventually learn how to shrug off…

Unless the feeling starts to occur again and again.

This scenario is not uncommon and millions of people in the world experience the more milder symptoms associated with loneliness.

But unfortunately, the truth about loneliness is a lot more shocking than society as a whole seems to realize.

That’s because when it comes to loneliness, no one really knows what people are secretly feeling every day.

The good news is, there are actually effective ways that you can learn to cope, whenever you feel lonely.

But in order to do that, you’ll have to be willing to confront the issue head on.

For those of us too afraid to admit the truth about our own feelings of loneliness and isolation, the following information can at least help you understand some vital points.

Continue reading and pay attention to these candid questions.

• What should you do when you’re feeling lonely?
• Why do I feel lonely?
• How do you deal with loneliness?
• What are some things to do when you feel lonely?

As you might imagine, the answers you discover will help you learn to cope with feelings of loneliness, no matter when this feeling happens to occur in your life.

What should you do when you’re feeling lonely?

What should you do when you’re feeling lonely is one of the most searched for phrases that relates to the issue of loneliness.

But while it makes sense to search for answers about what to do about these unwanted feelings, it makes even more sense to try to understand some simple truths about loneliness.

These truths are either unknown to most of us, or either dismissed or ignored for some reason.

For instance, did you know:

1. Loneliness affects people of all ages
2. Loneliness is a healthy emotion
3. Most people are embarrassed by feeling lonely
4. Denying feelings of loneliness worsens the situation
5. You have more control over loneliness than you know

Without understanding the implications of those five statements, you will find it difficult to learn how to successfully combat feelings of loneliness.

So as you continue reading, and come to appreciate the reality of the above five “truths”, you’ll be more receptive to the suggestions provided afterwards.

That’s when you can read about how to deal with loneliness, and also discover some helpful things to do when you feel lonely.

You’re not alone in your loneliness

If it’s true that misery loves company, then you’ll be happy to learn that you’re not alone in your loneliness. That’s because loneliness affects people of all ages.

Loneliness can actually occur when you’re young, even though the feelings have been known to persist in older adults.

According to the National Library of Medicine:

“Loneliness is often considered a problem of the elderly, but loneliness can affect people of all ages.

Studies that have explored the prevalence and frequency of lonely feelings across the life course have found, contrary to popular wisdom, that loneliness is highest in young adults and then declines throughout adulthood until oldest old age…”

With loneliness being such a common emotion, it makes sense that generally speaking, loneliness is actually a healthy emotion (as stated by therapist and executive coach Megan Bruneau).

From her point of view, and others like her; feelings of loneliness help to reveal “places we yearn for connection” in our lives.

To show that this is not just an American issue, a few years ago, in 2018, The Kaiser Family Foundation, partnered with The Economist, and they conducted a cross-country survey.

They spoke to adults in the United States, the United Kingdom, and also Japan, as they examined people’s views of and experiences, associated with loneliness and social isolation.

At the time, this International Survey determined that 22% of Americans constantly feel lonely. Since that report was conducted before the COVID pandemic; as of today, that number has only managed to increase.

Denying your feelings of loneliness is common

Just like denying your feelings of loneliness is a common thing among people everywhere, so is being embarrassed by what is typically viewed as a negative emotion.

Think about it. The title of this story may have resonated with you as soon as you saw it, but you may have also experienced a bit of hesitation about reading it.

Why? Was it possibly because you felt too embarrassed to consider how the information might apply to you?

Yet, ironically, that is probably the same reason you felt compelled to read it.

As the writer of this article, I felt a bit embarrassed myself. I purposely concealed the research notes I printed out, just in case someone in my household caught a glimpse and wondered if I was having a problem with loneliness.

And for the record — I am, to some degree.

At the time of this writing, I’m a 64-years-old divorcee with no mate and one adult child and no grand kids. It’s also the start of the Thanksgiving holiday season and I’m mostly estranged from family members and former friends.

So under these or similar circumstance, me and others like me are prime targets for loneliness. This means that it is up to us, to find ways to take back control of our emotions.

The information contained in this story is important in helping you understand how to find ways to end the loneliness you’re feeling.

The beginning of the end, starts with no longer denying your feelings of loneliness.

It truly helps, when you learn to name what you’re feeling and claim the space you happen to be in at the time.

Once you’re able to overcome that particular hurdle, you’ll begin to understand that you actually have more control over loneliness than you realize.

Why do I feel lonely?

In your efforts to determine how to cope with feeling lonely, especially if it’s a constant thing; you need to consider why you might be feeling lonely in the first place.

Needless to say, there are numerous reasons why people find themselves feeling lonely. Some are real or more solid than others.

The reality is, sometimes we just feel that way, although our lives are really less lonely than we happen to feel at the time.

Other reasons for loneliness may be directly associated with someone or something very specific that is going on in our lives.

Over time, the dynamics of our relationships begin to change, and people end up moving in different directions, both literally and figuratively. Situations like these can result in deep feelings of loneliness and isolation.

But typically, these are the lonely times that usually manage to pass after a while, and we're able to connect again at some point, which causes the loneliness to cease.

But what about the more common periods of loneliness, that are related to other outside influences?

It’s a known fact, that every month, when the moon is full, countless people have reportedly felt their mood affected in a negative way.

In fact, both the moon, and the earth's seasonal changes have been blamed for conditions that affect people on a regular basis, like clockwork.

This is the case with the syndrome known as SAD; a condition that can also account for some of the loneliness that many people feel during certain times of the year.

For more on this, read: Does Your Mood Start to Change Around a Certain Time Every Year?

Besides the chemical imbalances that may actually be occurring with people during certain times of the year, there are also other reasons that a kind of seasonal loneliness takes place.

Holiday seasons are especially viewed as creating prime situations for people to feel lonely.

In America, the holiday season that often sparks a bout of endless loneliness, occurs every year, with the start of the Christmas season. This is a lonely time for many individuals, especially the aged or people who are shut-ins.

Deep-seated feelings of loneliness tend to set in for several months. The various versions of Christmas celebrations extend right into the New Year and beyond.

To the rest of the world, this season may feel like the happiest time of the year. But for lonely people, it amounts to nothing more than an endless roller coaster ride, involving holiday cheer that they don’t feel a part of.

This feeling can potentially last, and not begin to subside until well after Easter, but only for a short time, then it starts all over again.

So from November (if you don't include the Halloween frenzy in October), December, January, February, and March or April, the holidays just keep coming.

That’s a long time for lonely people to experience constant bouts of isolation, especially when they’re holding it in and keeping it to themselves.

But the information we're discussing is meant to shine light on the difficult truth about loneliness, so that the following points can be appreciated and remembered:

• You have to first learn to talk about it, because it’s not a sign of weakness or a flaw in your personality
• You need to examine your life and circumstances, and determine what is causing your feelings of loneliness

How do you deal with loneliness?

At the close of this article, you’ll find some helpful and effective activities you can perform, to help you learn to deal with loneliness.

But those activities will involve you having the right frame of mind, before you can even consider actively doing something to create a change.

So first, let’s talk about some coping mechanisms that involve your mindset.

This is an important aspect of taking steps to end chronic feelings of loneliness.

You won’t be successful, by constantly denying the loneliness that interferes with your mental and emotional state. Doing this is dangerous.

Not only does denial lead to an endless cycle of loneliness, but loneliness can also be the cause of different mental and physical health issues that you may also be dealing with.

Based on the research mentioned earlier, some serious health problems associated with feelings of isolation can include:

• Mental issues like depression, anxiety, and even suicidal thoughts.
• Physical ailments like increased blood pressure, weaken immune systems and increase inflammation throughout the body.

As you can see, extreme and constant feelings of loneliness are not to be easily dismissed or taken lightly.

To help you create the right mindset for coping with loneliness, try the following:

• Admit to yourself that you’re lonely and try to determine the source
• Be brave and let at least one other person know how you feel
• Take a serious break and re-evaluate your lifestyle to determine if it is too busy and full; causing you to become overwhelmed from activity.
• Perform simple meditation techniques and try focusing on ONLY all the positive things in your life
• Have a safe word to say to yourself, so you don't allow yourself to dwell on negative thoughts.

These are simple things that don’t require a whole lot more than an attitude adjustment in order to perform them.

As simple and quaint as they may sound, these feel-good actions can help stimulate your body’s endorphins, and possibly lift your spirits enough for the other steps that follow.

What are some things to do when you feel lonely?

When it comes to a human being’s ability to feel good, endorphins play an important role in our body. But so does oxytocin.

Doctors identify oxytocin as the bonding hormone; the same hormone new mothers possess at the time they give birth.

In order to help decrease feelings of loneliness; activities that involve an increase in oxytocin can be extremely beneficial.

It goes without saying, that these activities involve other people. But the actions can be as simple as:

• Having face-to-face contact and a brief conversation with a neighbor, service worker, or stor clerk that you regularly encounter
• Joining a club, a religious organization or social group

To a lonely person already in distress, these actions might seem too hard to get motivated to perform but you have to try.

If you have to start small, then start by taking a walk and simply smiling and saying hello to people you pass.

The smile alone can help trigger a few endorphins.

Joining a group and creating new acquaintances usually come with opportunities for hugs. Hugs that can help stir up some much needed oxytocin.

If you can’t or aren’t able to join a group or club, perhaps you can get a pet. A dog or cat are both good for hugs.

But even it you can’t have a dog or cat, then maybe something that requires less time, attention, expense, and space.

Goldfish are a good choice, and they’re a great hobby to get into. You may not get the same oxytocin boost since you can’t hug them, but caring for them can still produce a feel-good reaction.

The key here is to focus on others. Your smile is for others, although it makes YOU feel good. The care and attention you provide to a group, organization or pet is for them, but it makes YOU feel good.

And while you’re busy feeling so good, you won’t have time to be lonely.

Other helpful activities to help combat loneliness include:

• Create something — By drawing, painting, crocheting, writing, etc…
• Listen to some music — Something cheerful or that evokes good memories only (nothing depressing)
• Dance — Just turn the music up (as loud as allowable) and dance your heart out to something upbeat and get your adrenaline going. You’ll feel better and sleep great!
• Pamper yourself in water — By going swimming or enjoying a jacuzzi, taking a long shower or a relaxing bubble bath. Water can be healing to the soul and body.

Final Thoughts

Now that you’ve considered some crucial facts and the truth about loneliness in today’s society, PLEASE DO NOT take this information for granted.

Remember that:

1. Loneliness is a much bigger deal than you’ve been admitting to yourself, or that most people admit at all.
2. Denial will only make the situation worse
3. Continued denial of constant feelings of loneliness could end up being hazardous to your mental, emotional, and even physical well-being

So even if you don’t think you need it right now, bookmark the page and return to it often.

And don’t forget to share it with people you care about and post the story link somewhere that it can possibly help someone else.