Let's Cut the Shit, Fellas: We Gotta Stop Lying

Men, our quality of life stinks and it’s our own damn fault.

All the years of lying and “people-pleasing” has led us down this long, lost road. It’s all caught up with us now and it’s not just our lives that are in a state of ruin though.

We can add sports, music and television to that equation as well. Everything’s terrble and if you don’t believe me keep on reading and judge for yourself.

Case in point; Seven months ago, my mother was watching the Hallmark Channel when they ran a series of commercials promoting Christmas movies in July.

Christmas in July?!

Now who in the world would come up with that kind of corniess? At first glance, you would’ve guessed that it was a woman, right? But I guarantee you that it was a man’s idea.

In fact, if I was a betting man, I would lay heavy odds on it being someone of the male persuasion or maybe, just maybe even something far worse.

A “man” that thinks like a woman.

Boy, I tell you; Those cats are the real Benedict Arnolds.

Come to think of it, they don’t even deserve the dict part of it so we’ll just refer to them as a bunch of Ben Arnolds instead. Those are the type of “men” that need to be thrown in the slammer for treason.

The only thing sadder then that are the “men” that are hugged up with their women watching that garbage.

First of all, the only reason you’re going along with that mumbo jumbo is because you’re hoping that she will give you a little bit of nookie at the end of the night.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but the joke’s on you, kid.

You see, she has absolutely no plans whatsoever on “putting out” tonight but she will have you cuddling with her all night long though.

I’m afraid all you’ll be getting is a limp arm and the worse case of blue balls ever known to man. I can guarantee that wasn’t how you planned on spending your evening was it.

You see, you played yourself and IT’S YOUR OWN FAULT.

All you had to do was be upfront with her and let her know that I do not want to watch this crap. Tell her just like this,

Babe, I want to watch a ball game or a good movie filled with lots of violence and explosions.

You see how easy that was?!

The truth is natural and is as easy as a Sunday morning. Lying requires all kinds of creativity and commitment that a lot of us, quite frankly, just don’t have.

So the question I have for us MEN is, why lie in the first place?

Why not just simply, “tell the truth and shame the devil,” as my grandma used to say?!

I tell you why we don’t. It’s simply because of FEAR!

The only reason why you don’t tell her the truth is because you’re afraid of what she might do. But, what is she really going to do when you let your true feelings be known though?

What, is she going to put you in a headlock? Is she going to make you sleep on that big ass couch downstairs?

Heck, that might actually do you some good.

Maybe, you’ll finally be able to get some sleep without her waking you up every 2 minutes wanting to talk to you about…..……Absolutey nothing because she can’t sleep. Then when she finally does sleep, the woman snores louder then Chewbacca.

Also, one thing I never understood is how she can kick you out the room and make you sleep downstairs in a house that you’re paying the bills on!

That just never made any lick of sense to me. It has to be some weird stuff conjured up by the “smart” folks in Hollywood.

Fellas, the next time she tries to kick you out the bedroom over some bull, just kick that mortgage bill right over on to her. I bet you she’ll be a lot more appreciative then.

Now I’m not just picking on the women here.

In all honesty, you need to have that type of attitude with anybody who’s taking your time for granted.

Even, if it’s your own kids!

Sometimes, you have to tell them no as well.

Trust me, they’ll be a whole lot better in the long run and I guarantee you that once they get older, they will understand what you were doing for them and they will thank you for it.

You have to take your pride back along with your time.

At the very least, you should be doing more things that make you happy much more instead of “people-pleasing” all the time.

You know what happens to people-pleasers, don’t you?

After doing all that pleasing and giving to others that are not giving you nothing back in return, they tend to feel all depressed and empty inside.

We definitely don’t want you walking around being depressed and eating Häagen-Dazs ice cream all day.

That’s the woman’s job!

No, no ladies, I was only kidding with that last part. You know I love you all to infinity times 10.

I know some of the men are looking at me sideways for posting that. Shoot, I’m not trying to get kneed in the cojones.

Yeah, I got balls but I got brains too.