Leave Well Enough Alone

Its hard to be in a relationship/marriage today. Why? There are several reasons. People need to realize the concepts of being in a relationship or a marriage. Hold on tight, this is going to be a bumpy ride.

First topic: Relationships. I wanted to go there first because I feel like there are a lot of things that need to be said. When you are with someone, you are with that person. Nobody else, just the two of you. Men, you aren’t dating her family and women, you aren't dating his family. Always remember that. Someone from either side of the family has a vendetta against your significant other for some reason.

Let me break it down. If a man/woman is rich or is making good money on his job, the last woman the family thinks he should be with is a “tramp” or “gold digger”. Tramp is an old-fashioned word for whore, but we say ho now because time has evolved. Gold digger is the term used for someone who wants your money, but not everybody is like that.

I believe that society, parents and others set their standards way too high when it comes to love and relationships. They won't date a person without a house, a car or a job. Some even say that the man/woman has to have a specific type of job. For the record, you can all that and still be unhappy. Why are there dating shows? Because people swear they have it all and have it made. Well, apparently not. I'm gonna be real.

If I had that kind of money, I'm not going on TV saying I'm single and looking for love, etc. I don't have that amount of time on my hands and if I cant find someone on my own, the world doesnt need to know. To me, that's desperate and embarrassing. I dont care about being paid to go on TV and air out my business. You never know who is watching.

Dating sites are something private. You can take your chances there, and if things don't work out, you can try again. The only people that know are you and the people it didn't work out between. No publicity needed.

Next topic. Family in your business. Family can be your worst enemy when it comes to your relationship/marriage, especially if they didn’t like the person in the first place. As soon as you start having problems, you hear “well I told you he/she wasn’t good for you, now you are starting to see it for yourself.” Sometimes, that can be what we need to hear and sometimes it can be the last thing we need to hear. Some family members are bad about saying I told you so because they want to be right all the time.

I always say that love has what I call two one-million dollar questions, which are: “What does he see in her and what does she see in him?” The million dollar answer: Mind your own business.

My motto is: I don’t pay you to like me. People need to adopt that same mindset. Nobody has to kiss a person’s a** or the ground that they walk on.

In the bible, it says man is a provider. However, some women are now providers as well so the whole “men wear the pants” concept can go out the window because they make pants for women too.

If that person has the qualities that match your standards, that’s all that matters. You should never let anyone make you feel bad for being with someone that they don't think you should be with, unless that person is mistreating you.

But if that person is being good to you, always has your back, defends you when people talk about you, doesn't hesitate to express their feelings, you better fight for that person as if you were in a boxing match. That's true love.

Women: if this man puts a ring on it earlier than you think they should, don't question it. This man knows he wants you and only you. Real men know what they want, they go after it and that's a wrap. Key word: REAL.

To conclude my story, I say this: Happiness is personal. Love is real. You don’t pay people to like you so don’t let them dictate how they think you should feel.