Is Your Partner Good for You?

He is your good couple partner for you - you love him and the relationship means a lot to you, but sometimes a person and a relationship just aren't right and they don't do you any good. Relationships in which you are manipulated, changed, controlled - in which you become dependent on your partner and in which you are not yourself. Some relationships are destructive, limiting the person and making them vulnerable.

When is the right partner for you:

When your partner makes you feel good - when you are around him/her, you feel better, you rejoice and the day is more beautiful. But it doesn't always happen that way: because sometimes being with your partner makes you feel anxious, sad, or even nervous.

It is quite clear, when the other person's influence is negative, that the couple's relationship is not going as it should… maybe you are not right, maybe he/she is not good for you. Some people give us a state of agitation and anxiety through their presence and attitude.

When he stimulates you, encourages you, lets you be and do what you want. The partner is good for you if you feel free if you feel encouraged to fulfill your desires and stimulated to be better, to develop. Sometimes, however, in the relationship you feel rather limited, handcuffed, without having the freedom to express yourself. Worse, sometimes you feel controlled by your partner, who behaves possessively as if you were his property.

When you don't change as an individual. As stated above, in a couple of relationships you should feel free to be yourself and do what you want (we are referring here more to the important things you want, such as goals in life, not going out with friends!).

You should feel that your partner loves you and likes you the way you are, with all your shortcomings. When you feel that he/she is trying to change you, to turn you into someone else, to manipulate you, when he asks you to be what you are not, he is not good for you. Why be and do what does not represent you, why change? If who you are is not enough for him/her, then you were not made for each other from the beginning.

When you can tell him anything you think and feel. In a stable couple relationship, the partner should become the closest person, in whom you have total trust and in whom you can tell him anything. When you are afraid to tell him what you think and what you feel, when you think that he may not understand you, that he may criticize you, you have a blockage in communication.

And if you don't feel that you can tell him anything because your partner is criticizing your ideas, you should think better of your relationship.

When there is real support. The partner is good for you if you know he is with you if you can always ask him for advice and help and he/she tries to offer it to you.

One of the most essential needs of man is to feel listened to: when your partner does not listen to you and is not receptive to what you tell him when he does not offer his support, then you feel alone, even if you have a relationship.

When, instead of support and help, you receive a reply such as: "Do it yourself, you are a great man", then your partner is not receptive to your needs. Each of us needs someone to rely on, to ask for advice, and to give us a helping hand. Can you ask for his support whenever you need it?

When the relationship gives you what you need. People create relationships in search of satisfying their needs: affection, closeness, appreciation, respect, stability, security. Does your relationship give you all this? Do you feel loved? Do you feel appreciated? Do you feel confident? Do you feel respected? Do you feel safe? In a word - are you really happy with your relationship or are you frustrated?

When it makes you feel valuable. A good partner for you will make you feel good about who you are, attractive, wanted, and appreciated. The right partner for you behaves nicely with you (usually), encourages you, and makes you more confident, giving you confidence. Respect, admiration, and affection make you look at yourself with more confidence and help you see your good sides.

Instead, when your partner makes you feel useless, ignored, incapable, when all he does is criticize you and diminish your confidence when he makes you not feel good enough - then the relationship is destructive. Being caught in a relationship where you are constantly knocked down, where you are judged and criticized, where your partner constantly shows you that you are not valuable enough makes you a vulnerable and dependent person.

But a relationship should make you a more confident, stronger, more confident person - a person who is satisfied with himself and his life!

When you feel safe when you have emotional comfort. In some relationships, we feel secure and protected - in others, we feel eternally fearful. How stable and strong is your relationship? Do you trust your relationship and your partner or are you often afraid that you will not stand together, that it will end?

Does your partner offer you a certain degree of security or does it make you doubt your future? Do you look to the future with optimism and joy or with insecurity and fear? A partner who does not give you even an ounce of emotional comfort, which makes you anxious and insecure is not good for you…