Is Marriage a Necessity?

Around a certain period in our lives, most of us experience a pressure from within ourselves. This pressure is about finding a mate, and eventually start a family.

This pattern is inherent in our programming. We can observe it in almost all living forms. Of course, Nature has Its purpose here. But, to the opposite of other living forms, we have thought. So, is such a life for everyone?

When it comes to sexuality and romance, each one of us has been uniquely “molded.” This mold may or may not turn us into a “fit” for married life. Do we still need to conform to our programming even when we’re not a “fit” for it?

Such a question is obviously irrelevant because most of us don’t give much thought to it. We’re so quick to crack under pressure that we’re ready to do anything to look “normal” or put an end to our loneliness.

What is love through the lenses of the collective? We can observe it in the movies we create, the ideals we cherish, and the behavior of the majority.

For the collective, love is sexual pleasure, it is codependency. It is dominion and power plays. It is settling/conforming to an established pattern that comes once the partners are done trying to impress each other. It is the attachment that comes after years of routines. And the fear of losing those routines that feel familiar, that give us a sense of safety. It is boredom, the boredom that naturally comes into being when we live mechanically — but also, it is the endless, and restless quest for newer, and more exotic experiences that help us repress some of this boredom.

Eventually, bodies become too old, minds too dull, and if the partners had kids, which gave some meaning to such a life, they eventually grow up to live on their own.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

Surely, we feel alone. We’re also pressured by our family, friends and the collective’s programming to find someone. We’re told that it’s great! And we want to do it because we want to be accepted by others, and not seen as the weirdo. Some people have such a hard time handling the pressure that comes from all those opposing forces that they settle with the first arrived.

Why do we get married? More importantly, who do we do it for? Do we do it for our parents and their desire to have grandchildren? Do we do it because we fear people looking down on us? Perhaps we do it because we blindly believe anything the world tells us is the right way for us to live?

How many souls feel like failures because they haven’t found someone till their late twenties? How many souls feel like failures if they don’t have a job? How many souls feel like failures if they don’t wear expensive brands or drive big cars?

Who do we marry for? Plain and simply, for ourselves. People may tell us what kind of person to marry, they may urge us to follow an established path or live according to some societal ideal — but at the end of the day, we live for ourselves.

Whether we decide to live for others or for ourselves, the sexual urge will still be there. And it’s natural. We have options. The same can be said about our need for companionship, or our desire to parent and nurture children.

Obviously, to stand on our own, and live for ourselves, doesn’t necessarily eradicate those internal forces. They remain active. But to get into a relationship with another human being, to commit ourselves to a person , to be responsible to that person, to spend most of our life with that person, and have our energies so deeply intertwined that it changes our very fabric overtime — the least we can do is to give it careful thought.

It’s a demanding task to care for another human being, and to do it from a place of unresolved fears and issues is irresponsible to say the least.

But for those souls who genuinely care, and come from a place of abundance and clarity — marriage, as well as any genuine relationship between human beings is obviously beautiful. Many souls have shown us the magic, and miracle of life once we come together from a place of abundance, with an inclination to serve and offer our very best to the other.

Of course, there comes a point in our evolution when evolving beyond our programming becomes necessary. And with this evolution, we’re changed as a person — and with that change, others’ perception of us becomes irrelevant because embarking on a wholly different path is inevitable.