'In Sickness & In Health'

Let's begin by just reminding everyone who is married just how the wedding vows go:

Looking through some of the differing faiths discussed for this purpose being Episcopal, Presbyterian, Protestant, Quaker, Unitarian/Universalist, Interfaith, & nondenominational, there appears to be one part of the traditional vows that is interpreted in very much the same way.

-- I, (your name) take you, (your name), for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I will love and honor you all the days of my life. --

You spend a very long time planning, arranging and yes don't forget the awful discussion around cost these days, in preparing for that one big day of your life. The one that you have reached in life where you have met 'that special someone,' in your life and want nothing more than to spend the rest of your living years with them.

Not that this is for everyone but it certainly makes me think about the seriousness of this intention.

To begin with, let us just start to look at a few of the worries in any relationship:

-- Infidelity is by far the most common marriage problem in relationships. It includes cheating and having emotional affairs.

-- Sexual differences can occur in a relationship for several reasons paving way for subsequently more marriage problems.

-- Traumatic situations are other problems that couples may experience. A lot of traumatic events that occur are life-changing.

-- Boredom can all too easily slip into a marriage. You become bored with the once adored relationship. You may get tired of the things that occur within the relationship. The cause? Well simply because it has become predictable - the spark has fizzled out.

-- Stress is another problem that couples may experience. A lot of traumatic events that occur are life-changing.

-- Financial complications can all too easily stem from a spouse losing their job or being demoted at their job. Family can include children, problems with their family, or the spouse’s family.

-- Stages in life whereby marriage issues occur simply because both spouses have outgrown each other and want more out of life from someone else.

-- Health concerns / Illness well I left this to the very last one because it forms an integral part of your wedding vows:

'in sickness and in health'

This was when these words really hit home to me. And in one of my articles, I wrote on Vocal which was published in Psyche, being married to my loving & caring wife took on a whole new look at that phrase embedded into the wedding vows - demonstrating just how seriously this should be taken, when chronic pain changed the way I had to approach my life going forward -

(click here to read this)

and here I would like you to take a read on an article published by Carol Townend entitled You Need to Look After Yourself as a Carer.

Not to cast a massive dark cloud over your day but, this HAS to be talked about. The list is certainly not exhaustive, in fact, marriage is a major life event for anyone involved and can also be a major contributor toward your negative life stressors too.

Remember the saying 'life is what you make it?'

The same can be said of getting married to the right person

It can be a very true saying IF you just let it. Through thick & thin, through the good times and the bad, my wife and I are now stronger today than ever before. We have truly built our marriage on these vows and those solemn words we both spoke & promised.

YOU HAVE TO WORK at your marriage. Too many people let society and illness take over marriage and can all too easily destroy the one perfect harmony that you built leading to marriage break-ups sadly.

In 2019 the Office for National Statistics (ONS) published the staggering figure that there were 822 divorce decrees issued in the United Kindom (UK) alone. A very sad and lonely prospect - but all too common - too many that went wrong and lacking in true communication and commitment.

Remember, once you have said those vows and marry on that wonderful day of your life, you have no longer decided that you will just deal with your own problems & emotions, but that you will now be an integral part of one another - supporting each other giving a new meaning to the 'Spice Girls' song '2 become 1.'

Courtesy YouTube/VEVO (accessed by author dated 07/06/2021) and the third consecutive number-one UK hit. Released in December 1996, a pop ballad written & sung by 'The Spice Girls.'

At this point thankfully, I can try and imagine another meaning to this song, as opposed to one of our fellow Vocal writers Lindsay Rae Brown, who wrote her own extremely hilarious version of what this had meanings of -(click on this to see Lindsay Rae Brown's thoughts on this if your dirty mind can handle it that is!)

Perhaps I can now reset my mind Lindsay, and stop thinking about sex when I hear that song now?

*** *** ***

On our wedding day on 25th June 1999, the first song that we had dedicated to ourselves at our reception in the evening of our big day was -

Courtesy of YouTube (accessed by author dated 07/06/2021) written by Diane Warren in 1997, and sung by Leanne Rimes again of the same year and going into 1998.

How Do I Live Without You.

This is just as much true today as it has always been for us. Living proof that when you work at something you want so badly, it will stay true forevermore.

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