If We Never Find True Love

Since entering adulthood, we have eagerly awaited the possibility of love, intuitively understanding its meaning long before it became a practical reality. Love, to us, meant being profoundly understood and free to express ourselves without fear of judgment. It was a conspiracy between two people against the rest of the world, reserved for those who truly comprehended its nature and felt its power. We believed that love was the pinnacle of existence, that to fancy someone completely and have them reciprocate was the ultimate achievement. In the name of love, we willingly put ourselves in extraordinary situations. We dressed up in fancy clothes, fretted over our hair and complexion, and drank brightly-colored cocktails. We found ourselves in unfamiliar parts of town, in the bedrooms of people who were not quite right, but were at least an advance on being alone and peculiar. We accepted dates with problematic individuals, knowing that we could not afford to become stagnant. Although it was not always right, we persevered, telling ourselves that it would eventually be alright as others kindly assured us. However, as the years passed, we found ourselves entangled in troubling situations that appeared to be love from an outsider's perspective, but in reality, were anything but. We spent far too long suppressing our own voices, and at a certain point, we began to grapple with a terror that we still struggle with late at night.

Love is a difficult subject to confront, especially when we consider the possibility that it may never come to fruition despite our best efforts and insights. The reasons for this are numerous, and often quite mundane. Our pasts are too complicated, our trust issues too deep, our appearance unappealing, our confidence lacking, and we may not meet the right people due to slim luck. Even when we try harder than anything else, we simply cannot make it work. The reality of this harsh truth can be disappointing, like one more date that doesn't go as we hoped or a person who doesn't call back. These disappointments may not have intended to hurt us, but they initiate a destructive idea that threatens to drive us insane. Behind closed doors, we may experience intense emotions such as unofficial tears, bitter denunciations of everyone and everything, and self-pity. However, we are creatures who know how to die, and we eventually settle into the horrid way things are. Though we may feel angry and frustrated, we ultimately accept that we cannot change our circumstances.

We are faced with difficult circumstances, such as losing the ability to speak or control our bodily functions. However, the doctors provide a solution, even if it means relying on a feeding tube and a bag and communicating solely through a quivering eyelid. This is still better than the alternative, so we endure. Despite the lack of love, we find comfort in the defiant attitude we adopt towards the universe and those who offer sentimental platitudes that do not align with our reality. We also find solace in art created by realists who have experienced similar pain, such as Baudelaire, Leopardi, Pessoa, and Pascal. Their works express our emotions in transcendent terms and help us to embrace the most dignified form of regret. Our friendships may not eliminate our loneliness, but they remind us that we are not alone in our suffering. We also learn to understand statistics and accept that we belong to a minority group that has experienced significant emotional turmoil. Our longing for love endures from adolescence until the end of our lives, becoming the truest thing about us. In the end, we find redemption in expressing this truth with calm and unwavering honesty. Our online shop offers a selection of books and gifts that address the crucial yet often overlooked aspects of life.