“I Was Controlled by a Narcissistic Woman”

But that wasn’t the worst part.

By Lorraine Villorejo Published 12 months ago • 2 min read

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels

What happens when you date a narcissist? Will you have low self-esteem? Will you lose yourself? Or will you become a narcissist too?

I had no idea how damaging dating a narcissist could be until I met Axel, an American man who had nearly lost his sense of self after being with a toxic and narcissistic woman.

Axel has had his fair share of experiences dating American women, and although most of them didn’t end well, he didn’t give up and still tried his luck.

He met Francine. Axel described her as a kind, bubbly, and gorgeous woman that any man could easily fall for.

But early on, when they started dating, he noticed red flags. For instance, she dominated their conversations and made everything about herself.

She would also seek compliments and validation from him, and if she didn't get them, she would give him the cold shoulder.

And since Axel was head over heels for her, he ignored everything and continued with their relationship.

But during their first year, he noticed something different about him. He was always walking on eggshells because he was afraid that Francine would get upset with his words and actions.

He was also losing his identity because she would always control him and make decisions for him. He couldn’t even bond with his friends and family because she wouldn’t let him. He was left lonely and isolated in Francine’s arms.

But that wasn’t the worst part. Months went by and their relationship continued.

There came a time when he met up with his friends (take note, he had to beg Francine just to let him go out this instance) and catch up with each other’s lives.

During their meeting, his friends couldn’t help but notice how Axel was acting like a stranger.

He wanted to be the center of attention and acted like he felt he deserved to be recognized by everyone. He also exaggerated his achievements and belittled his friends who had achieved less than he had.

Simply put, he was controlled by a narcissist and now he was one.

Know your worth.

Axel has had a long and exhausting experience with a narcissist, but he still managed to get out of it and find himself again.

He got to the point where he no longer cared how much he loved his partner because he and everyone else knew he was destroying himself for someone who didn't even care about him.

He left that hellhole, and now, he’s happily married to a Filipina.

To everyone who is experiencing what Axel went through, know that leaving a narcissistic partner might be a difficult journey, but it’s possible.

Be patient with yourself and remember your own worth. With the right support and resources, you can regain your sense of identity and autonomy, and move forward toward a healthier and happier future.