Things a Cebuana Worries about When Meeting a Foreigner for the First Time

Are you flying to Cebu to finally meet your potential soulmate?

Mixed feelings of excitement, worry, and fear give you butterflies in your stomach. This is especially true when you’re a foreigner meeting the future love of your life in an unfamiliar place.

Everything's new: the places, people, ways, and culture. A single mistake can blow your chances.

The first meeting can be daunting. Of course, you're looking for a serious relationship, not wasting time fooling around. But here's the thing. You're not alone. For all you know, she’s feeling anxious too, maybe more than you can imagine.

Cebuanas are best known for having optimistic, sweet, and loving personalities. However, many factors contribute to their worries when meeting a foreigner for the first time. Past experiences and different ways and traditions are a few examples.

While you’re aware of your own worries, you might want to know what goes on in her mind as a helpful advantage to think of ways to win her heart.

Think of it as a chance to see how you can make her feel comfortable, safe, and secure once you meet in person and go out on a date.

Take note of the following:

She might feel too conscious of her looks

While this applies to most women, Cebuanas are generally elegant and sophisticated. They want to look their best while maintaining dignity and respect.

Another reason a Cebuana can get too conscious of her looks, especially when it comes to dressing up, is societal expectation. Religion and conservatism are among other things that add up to the worries and pressure.

"Is this dress too vulgar?"

"Should I go for a more casual or formal look?''

Aside from wanting to look attractive, there are much deeper reasons behind this.

There are so many gorgeous Cebuanas out there. Some women can't help but feel insecure and compare themselves to others. It's sad but it happens to many, and they might even worry about how they are going to stand out to their dates.

With this sad reality, try to make her feel that you don't base a relationship solely on physical appearance, but more on valuable things like honesty and loyalty.

She’s afraid of running out of topics that can lead to awkward silence

''What if the conversation gets awkward in the middle?''

''What should I say?’’

''What do I do?’’

These are some common questions that can cause worry and anxiety.

Cebuanas are mostly shy and modest. They are less likely to be chatty, let alone during the first meeting. This doesn't mean that they're not confident, but chances are you might have to lead the conversation during the first few moments.

Cultural difference is another reason why she might be apprehensive about what to say. So if you notice her giving short answers, don't take it as a bad sign that she doesn’t like you. You'll never know right away. She’s probably just too nervous.

Not all Cebuanas have this type of personality. But it's safe to consider this as a possibility.

Worried about the language barrier

Most Cebuanas are English speakers. Filipinos, especially Cebuanos, have high expectations when it comes to speaking the English language. English can sometimes be used as a status symbol for some, or worse, used as a standard of intelligence.

Cebuanos are particular with the English language, including the pronunciation. This is something that adds to the pressure and can affect their level of confidence.

If you notice that she's unresponsive at times, you might need to check your speaking pace. Are you talking too fast? It can be intimidating for her. It's important to be able to spot this right away.

Cultural differences

Though Cebu is home to diverse people and cultures, some distinct behaviors and traditions can set it apart from others. For example, tradition and lifestyle. Cebuanas are laid-back and spiritual people. They’re also friendly, and talking to strangers can sometimes be a normal thing.

Being aware of these differences tends to cause doubts and apprehensions. One advisable tip is to do your research and keep an open mind to any possibilities.

Fear of not meeting expectations

Before meeting in person, you’ve most probably talked through an online video call or chat. That's when you've built some sort of expectation of each other. But what about meeting in person?

Things can get random and unpredictable. After the first meeting, you might discover something that doesn’t meet your expectations. Next thing you know, you won’t be calling her anymore, which means she's been ghosted. As weird as it may sound, this is one of the many common worries your Cebuana date might have.

Sexual assault or harassment

A lot of women feel vulnerable when it comes to sexual harassment or assault. One way to make her feel safe during your first meeting is to meet at a public place like a cafe or restaurant.

Avoid inviting her to a hotel or the apartment you're staying in.

You can't be touchy or pushy. Keep a distance at first so that you can observe her body language.

Is she relaxed? A little bit stiff? Is she blushing? These are common signs that she's not yet comfortable.

Feeling nervous is normal, and it happens to both men and women. But try to take control of the situation through constant effort until things begin to warm up. Keep in mind that getting touchy and pushy is off the table.

There's no perfect formula you can follow to have everything go smoothly during the first meeting. This applies to everyone in the dating world. Then again, factors like cultural differences, among many others, can put pressure and anxiety when dating a foreigner.

Sure, you may have the sincerest intentions, and you've probably put in a lot of effort and time already, but you've got more to offer.

As you might already expect, Cebuanas are great, beautiful, and intelligent people. And just like other women from different parts of the world, they need the right amount of understanding and assurance when they’re meeting a foreigner for the first time.

Originally posted on Medium