I’m not going to apologise again

I’m sorry we aren’t friends any more. No I really am. But realistically when and where was this friendship going to have life? It was one of those situational ones. The situation ended. This was unexpected that’s true but the team disbanded... it happens constantly throughout life. It’s so normal. I know Facebook has cropped up in the past decade to disrupt that natural ebb and flow. But that is where, if anywhere this connection would have resided.

FACEBOOK

Facebook is for acquaintances, business connections, overseas relatives and old pals.... your friends, your real friends, you catch up with them. .....IN REAL LIFE. Heck, you don’t even need a Facebook connection with them, really. And I’m sorry to say that, what with one thing and another and given our teams’ rude and sudden dismantling ..Facebook would have been the most I could manage. I said this at the time, all I wanted was a decent goodbye, a bit of a heartfelt send off recognising the fact that of course, things were not going to remain the same. Ok, they went to hell in a handcart...,but a personal goodbye, and not what you thought incidentally ..demonstrating that I’d at least meant something and as colleagues we’d worked well together ..would have prevented that.

NOT FORGIVEN

What is done is done, as far as I am concerned, I did what I could to preserve goodwill, I apologised for my behaviour even though it was triggered in an completely avoidable situation. I offered to mend the acquaintance...it would have been prudent to do so in terms of possible professional collaboration in the future. I had to try and communicate in PERSON because that’s where, as far as I am concerned at least, real friendship lies. I’m sorry that that caused such discomfort in you that you, based on your misunderstanding, felt you had to block any discussion and not in a nice way…. That is not what friends do. What you seemed to understand and think about me was actually somewhat wrong. I was trying hard to be the friend you wanted.

ENOUGH OF THE SELF REFLECTION

I am now well and truly over this story , but my nature is such that I can’t bear nastiness and that I may not have treated a friend of mine the way I’d want to be treated, albeit as a result of thoughtless provocation. I’ve long since let go of everything else... but that my apology wasn’t accepted, I was unfairly demonised and above all did try to restore goodwill....that I have found hard to deal with.

I am not going to apologise again, because you know all this already, don’t you?

RATHER BE “RIGHT” THAN HAPPY

When, I have to wonder because over the past few years I have had time to wonder...will humans ever get out of their ego driven antagonistic “them”and “us”thinking, which you know I’m as guilty of as the next person. This hideous fallout would never have arisen, if it hadn’t been for those termites of human relations ... assumptions.. not to mention, different communication styles expectations of friendship, triggers. anger, gender and generational devides, , religious beliefs or lack thereof and so on and so on...

I wonder how many people actually pass through our lives ? Most fade out without drama and some are there for the long haul but inevitably their importance will wax and wane. The ones that hit the “drama” button are fortunately few and far between but whether they see it or not,or welcome it or not, they are the ones that come with the hard lessons. These lessons are for our and their higher good.....