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How to keep friendships

5 subtle ways to keep your friends, your friends

By Chua Yuan HengPublished 11 months ago 3 min read
How to keep friendships
Photo by Hannah Rodrigo on Unsplash

Friends are fun to have. In a way, friends are like extended relatives in some way or another. You can seek refuge in them, you can get help from them, heck, you can even laugh and cry together with them. However, sometimes, if we look at it realistically, friendships are kind of like, what to say, fragile? Yes, it is quite fragile if you don't exercise care or caution when dealing with friendships. Imagine if you scold your friend as nosy, do you think they will continue being around you after that? No, right? Friendships aren't that super important after all, they can find new friends anytime and anywhere else. But in this story, we are looking on the ways to keep friendships, so behold, the 5 ways you must always take notice of to keep your friendships:

1. Listen more and talk less

When you listen to your friend talking about themselves more than you talk about yourself, then you will win a friend. People like divulging stories about themselves. Evolutionarily, this was a mechanism of coping, of coping with the troubles, miseries, and problems we all have. By talking about these things with another listening human being, we felt a sense of relief, like a bunch of burden with heavy weights lifted off our shoulders, because someone else is also thinking about your problems now. It is not solely your own problem now. Now, there's another guy or girl sharing my problem. So, listen more, and talk less. You will get your turn to talk about yourself, when you have won that friend to listen to you, later on.

2. Celebrate their special days

It is when you seemed to care about their special days, days like they are giving birth to their first child, their birthdays, their marriage, that they think that you are actually connected. Connected in a sense that you are not a stranger who doesn't care what's going on with them. People like to feel connected to others, in a way that they feel either cared or loved by the other person. So, remember to send those birthday greetings and well wishes on your friend's special occasions, if you intend to keep them as friend.

3. Do not compete with your friends

Never ever compete with your friends. Do not show that you have more or bigger or faster or whatever with your friends. Friends are for something more mushy mushy, where you almost feels like siblings or sometimes lovers. Do not flaunt what you have got in order to outdo your friends. This is because again, evolutionarily, if you are not on the same tribe, you are probably a competitor, a competitor for the basic needs of just about anything at all, from food, to money, to jobs etc. Remember, do not compete, it's not wise to do so in friend keeping.

4. Take care to never gossip behind their backs

If you gossip behind their backs, you are just a sneaky fella, sneaking about and around everyone to put on little by little damage onto the reputation or image of your friend. You could even be considered hostile if you gossip too nastily, especially if it comes with hate and insult. A backstabber is never a friend, he or she is just there to get something and in the process, he or she tries to get rid of you. So, try to never gossip behind your friends' backs.

5. Love them like your brothers and sisters

Humans can feel feelings. Otherwise we would not even invent the word feelings. If you would love your friends like your brothers and sisters, they would feel it too. They will respond by acting or behaving in the same manner. It is not disadvantageous to have more brothers and sisters. That's why anyone would accept you as their brother or sister if you are also genuine about it. So, to keep friendships, love your friends like your brothers and sisters.

What else do you think are the ways to keep friendships alive? Hope you enjoyed this story. Like and comment if you like my story. Thank you.

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About the Creator

Chua Yuan Heng

IT Support | Melaka | Malaysia

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