How to Cope with Boredom as a Single Woman

Being single and bored is one of the dangerous combinations I have come across. You constantly check your phone to see if you missed a call. Going on date after date leads nowhere. You worry if you’re the only one without a boyfriend.

Wondering whether you’re going to find someone in the future or spend the rest of your life alone. As much as I hate to say this, it really sucks to be a single woman.

You feel guilty every time you look at a couple and wish you had what they have because you feel like you aren’t supposed to feel lonely. You feel like you’re not allowed to complain about being single because it would make you look weak and insecure and needy.

I’m a strong woman. I’m not someone who needs a man. But sometimes, having a man would be nice.

Sometimes, I daydream about how comforting it would be to hold hands with someone, fall asleep next to someone, get married to someone.

Boredom becomes your only best friend. You eat, watch Netflix, eat some more, scroll through Facebook, sleep, and repeat. Some days you hopeless waking up feeling empty.

It’s okay, to be honest with yourself.

You don’t have to feel bad for wanting a relationship. You don’t have to glorify your situation. You don’t have to hold back your emotions. You’re allowed to admit that being single is hard on you and that it sucks.

Being a strong woman doesn’t mean you’re emotionless. It doesn’t mean you’re against the idea of relationships.

You don’t have to pretend you’re having fun being single when you would rather be in a committed, loving relationship. You don’t have to lie for you to know you’re strong. Admitting you’re looking for a relationship doesn’t make you any less strong. You don’t have to hide what you want. You don’t have to apologize for what you want.

Over the years I have adopted many stress and anxiety relief mechanism that will also be a great distraction for boredom. I hope it helps you too.

#1. A walk or drive can be refreshing.

Being indoors ‘all day in’ ‘day out’ can be depressing. I usually do some outdoor activities or walk around the block when I feel edgy and bored.

Yes, we know you don’t always want to leave your apartment, but we promise it’s good for you. Challenge yourself to leave your mobile phone in your purse or pocket and focus on nature. Soak up some Vitamin D and enjoy the people watching.

You can also go for a drive if you have the strength. This will improve your mental health as while as the physical health immensely.

#2. Take care of yourself.

I have never been more confident in my self like I have been this past year. I have had time to care for my mental and physical health. Stress can be brain-draining and so does boredom.

There is no better way to create your own spa in your home than to put on some soothing music. After all, studies show that calming sounds have the power to reduce stress and anxiety.

One of my old favorites for pampering yourself at home is taking a long hot bath- with tons of bubbles. And do you know what’s better than that? If you have reading material and lighted candles around you, you may be tempted to spend an entire evening there.

Trust me, you will come out feeling more confident and energetic to begin a new chapter in your life.

#3. Sign up for a yoga class.

I know some people don’t like yoga. It’s slow and can be boring. But the benefits of yoga are tremendous. Not only does it help with relaxation, but it also builds up your self-esteem. You can sign up for a 30-day yoga challenge online for starters.

A few deep breaths and several rounds of sun salutations are a great way to take your mind off boredom.

I personally, follow Yoga With Tim on YouTube, and I’ve been practicing for three years now. My yoga routine is not what I ever imagined a few years ago. I do it for 30–45 minutes at least twice a week. But the biggest difference is that I look forward to each session every week.

This has made me more focused and determined in my career. It has changed my life significantly.

If you want to enjoy doing yoga, first, change your expectations and consider yoga a meditative practice rather than a physical effort.

Do a mental cleansing- focus on new movements you are not used to, rather than trying to master the physical part.

#4. Meditation can be relaxing.

Setting aside 5 minutes of my day to meditate has made a huge impact on my mental health during this crazy rollercoaster year.

Some people prefer to mediate themselves, where I prefer a guided meditation, there are tons of brilliant guided meditations on YouTube. Or you can download the app Calm, for full content you do have to subscribe.

However you can find 14-day free trails online — the daily calm with Tamara Levitt are perfect transient sessions that you can fit into your day.

#5. Consider having a garden in your backyard.

Gardening invites you to hang out, socialize with other gardeners, and take control of your needs for exercise, healthy nutrition, and beautiful surroundings.

When you dig, haul and harvest improve your physical strength, heart health, weight, sleep, and immune system.

My colleague went from buying one plant to now having a jungle array of plants that he adores in 9 months.

I’ve even taken on a few of them myself and I have to say there’s something about nurturing your plants and bringing some green and job to your home that you are spending so much time in. Or if a plant is too much responsibility, do what I did and start with a cactus — minimal maintenance, water it once a month.

#6. Get in the habit of reading.

If you have spare time on your hands and have books lying around that you’ve always wanted to read — now is your chance!

Try reading a good book to take care of your mind and exercise your brain. I personally love reading some books at the end of my weekly self-care routines.

There are lots of community book clubs online or book swaps or start a zoom book club with friends or fellow online bookworms.

Find your genre, a book that will make you excited to read it. Whether you are a regular reader or have not read a book in years, I recommend ‘Call My By Your Name’ by André Aciman, ‘The Catch’ by T.M. Logan, ‘This is Going to Hurt’ by Adam Kay, and ‘The Hunger Games Series’ by Suzanne Collins.

#7. Try out new baking skills.

Baking is one of the best forms of distraction when I’m stressed or bored at home. Call it what you want: stress-baking, fear-baking, when people feel anxious, they look for something to do, some sort of distraction, and baking provides just that for them.

I use baking as a coping mechanism when I’m stressed or bored. Allow yourself to be creative- by adding flavor, changing color, forming shapes, you trigger the sensory.

The scent of spices and vanilla is comforting and often remind us of happy times. Try baking a few cupcakes next time you feel bored or stressed.

If you’re not ready to take on Mastering The Art of French Cooking, you can start small with a more millennial-friendly pick like my free Healthy Carb Cookbook with over 80 baking recipes.

#8. Having a pet can be a good companion.

Pets have evolved to tune into humans, our behavior and our emotions. For example, dogs can understand many of the words we use, but they are also better at interpreting our tone, body language and gestures.

While people with pets often experience the greatest health benefits, a pet doesn’t necessarily have to be a dog or cat. Watching fish in an aquarium can also help reduce muscle tension and lower heart rate.

Caring for an animal gives great pleasure. It also allows children to grow up more confidently and actively. Pets also provide valuable companionship for the elderly. Most importantly, a pet can add true joy and unconditional love to your life.

#9. Learn a new language by playing games.

Boredom is my enemy, but it is also a gift. I tend to achieve more difficult tasks when I’m bored. Maybe it’s because I do focus all my energy and time to make sure I don’t fail. People who speak more than one language have improved memory, problem-solving and critical thinking, increased concentration, multitasking and listening skills.

You can choose to learn via social media, movies or games. I particularly like the idea of learning a new language by playing online games on my phone. It’s one of the easiest ways to learn a new language without getting bored.

Games can help deliver these benefits in the most entertaining way. Therefore as you delight in playing a game, you can enjoy yourself while unconsciously acquiring multiple language skills.

Some gaming apps like ‘Babbel’, ‘Bravolol’, and ‘Mindsnack’ are available in several languages- Spanish, French, Chinese, German, Italian and so on.

#10. Learn how to play an instrument.

I learned how to play the piano in the most awkward time of my life. I was having a breakdown. You know one of those times you feel like having a fistfight? That’s it! I picked on my neighbor. He wasn’t innocent though, but I seized the opportunity to lash out at him.

He was playing loud music. I called on his attention more than twice to reduce the volume. I was going to have an 8-hour ride to inspect a project outside my city, so I needed to get an early sleep. He ignored me like he usually does. I got angry, so I charged into his room.

We got into an argument. It was pretty intense. I was almost like deranged women. Anyway, before things got any worse, his guest and other neighbors separated us.

I left the scene and headed to the bar. All I wanted was to have a bottle of beer to calm my hot-headedness. But the music was even louder, the place was packed with freaks.

I was out of place and losing my mind. I decided to go back home. By the corner before my street, there was a Guitarist, playing a soft melody to the crowd. It wasn’t the song that picked my interest, but rather the peace and tranquility in his voice.

Listening to his song calmed me. That night I slept like a baby. The next morning I signed up for a piano lesson a few blocks away from my workplace. I’ve always wanted to learn how to play the piano so it seemed like the perfect time to do so.

#11. Make a daily fitness routine.

Not as fun as the other options, but with the right motivation the results and benefits to keeping fit are worth the sweat and pain! Figure out what you’d like to work on, would you like to be more flexible, more toned, shed some weight, perk up those glutes, and then work on that.

A great start is to do a 20-minute YouTube workout for your level, and then build it up from there. If you want to tone those glutes, do a glutes workout, if you want to build strength, do a strength workout.

You can pair this with trying out some healthy receipts in the kitchen — or try intermittent fasting, now is the perfect time to experiment with what works for you and your body. Try it all and then keep doing what you love!

#12. Listening to a podcast can make you less agitated.

This will be a great way to take your eyes away from the screen for a while. There are podcasts from pretty much about every topic you can imagine, and they are completely free.

You can get hundreds of hours of entertainment from shows like ‘Fresh Air’, or ‘The Nerdist,’ ‘Everything is Alive,’ a storytelling podcast without paying a cent.

Listening to podcasts gives you a break from music. Taking a break from your tunes can help get you excited when you come back. Podcasts are not only good entertainment but great education as well. For example, ‘5by5 network,’ covers almost all educational topics.

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Jessey Anthony is a motivational speaker, fitness coach and relationship expert who helps people become confident in themselves in any challenges they face in life. Sign up to my newsletter & more cool stuff.

Published on Medium