What to Do When Your Heart Is Broken

We often feel jealous of other people around us. We look at their clothes, accessories, or career successes and compare them with our own.

This does nothing but make us feel incompetent and depressed. This exerts a bad impression on our mind and thus affects our mental well-being too.

Contentment is a feeling that comes from inside. It comes from within our hearts. It is feeling satisfied and happy with what you have.

It does not just give you enormous self-confidence but also motivates you to move forward in the right direction.

After breaking up with my narcissist boyfriend, I went through different stages of emotional trauma. I could hardly do a thing without wishing he was there to give his opinion.

Moving on without him didn’t feel right. Or maybe I just didn’t know how to let him go.

I knew I was hurting but I wanted him so badly that I ignored all voices inside telling me that I was better than what I was receiving.

After the breakup, I constantly questioned my judgments of him. “Was I wrong to think he was overly controlling? Was he just overprotective, not possessive? Did I mistake my own insecurity for his lack of empathy?”

I believed my life had no purpose without him. He has been the sole voice in the relationship which made it difficult to make any decision on my own.

For the 3 years we were together, I was emotionally dependent on him, so owning my pain after the breakup was a mirage.

This encouraged our on-and-off reconciliations until I finally had the courage to end all communication with him.

Why you need contentment to heal

Emotional healing after a mental illness is tricky. Some days you feel like you have everything under control, the other times your world comes crashing down. It’s like you are constantly standing on an edge.

To pull yourself off that edge, you need to make your mind accept your current socio-economic state as the reality.

Emotional healing is about integrating the different parts of our soul — love, passion, pain, willpower — to help us not only understand our past but resolve it completely so that no negative emotional response occurs.

With emotional healing, the traumatic experience will no longer control our thoughts, feelings, and emotions. There are some benefits that come with emotional healing through contentment.

Gratitude: Feelings of contentment are associated with lots of positivity and happiness.

This makes a man thankful to God and the universe. Gratitude is the key to more success and empowerment.

When you have a positive attitude, you are sure to achieve great heights. Not only in your career but in your relationship with everyone around you.

Growth and success: Contentment and happiness encourages one to work with more dedication and focus. Your productivity increases as you can do all things with a fresh mind and with full self-confidence.

Self-image: When you start living a satisfying life and stop criticizing yourself; your self-worth and confidence increases. This helps you build up plans of self-improvement and success in your own style and perspective that suits you.

Begin with acceptance

We often start to change ourselves and be like the people who we think are better than us. This is nothing but just a waste of mental and physical energy.

We must learn to feel at peace with what we have and about the situation which is beyond our control.

The first step towards this is to become aware of your present i.e. think of the things you already have. Think of what you have achieved and the relationships you cherish.

Living in the present not only makes us happy, but we are also content and satisfied.

Acknowledging the present means being grateful for what you have. It can be done by making a list of things for which you are grateful.

This practice must be done early in the morning. Write at least 5 things daily for which you are thankful.

One has to be more compassionate and patient in the pursuit of success and not forget ourselves.

We often forget the joy of celebrating the present. And our whole life is wasted in tension and comparison.

Build up your self-confident

Confidence is a huge part of being mentally strong. Being confident is a great sign of self-love, and it helps us to stay away from the temptation of comparing ourselves to others.

When we are confident in our strengthens or ability, we are happy in our skin and at peace in our mind.

Confidence is a great comfort. We can always go the extra mile by sharing our confidence with others, but at the end of the day, being confident is a personal achievement.

Be your authentic self

Be completely true to yourself. There is no need to change who you are to satisfy others, and you do not need to pretend to impress anyone.

You need to stay true to yourself and understand your limits so that you don’t get pushed over by others.

Being your true self allows you to form your own values and beliefs. If you keep looking outwardly and trying to be like someone else, you tend to embrace their values and beliefs.

Your values and beliefs determine who you are. It is extremely important to always remember who you are and where you come from.

Showing that we are comfortable with the life we have is a major part of being true to ourselves, and loving our mind goes right along with that comfort.

Stop thinking negatively

Just stop thinking of any negative thing, situation or person. Ignore everything that makes you feel down or incompetent. Concentrate on the good side of every situation.

Reverse your thinking the moment it goes on a negative track. You just have to focus your mind on the little things that give you joy.

Think about the pleasant memories. Find the things within you that you are happy with.

Explore your qualities and the positive sides of you that makes you different from others.

You have to discover yourself and feel happy about everything you have.

Accepting what you can’t change

After becoming aware of what you already have, the next step is creating a broader vision and accepting all the people, situations and things as they are.

Try to improve yourself and adapt to the changes but not out of jealousy or comparison but out of self-curiosity and personal goals.

Do everything you like but do it for yourself. Try to change and improve yourself not because you want to impress someone else but for your personal happiness and goal.

Some things are beyond our control. They are pre-decided by fate and we have to trust that eventually what happens will be for our good. This does not mean that you have to give up and be passive.

Improvement and continuous changes are necessary to sustain life on this planet.

But whatever you do must be guided by a desire and a goal to be unique. It must not be aimed at becoming someone else.

Appreciate the little you have

Be happy with the little you have. There are people with nothing but they still manage to smile. Just let go of fear and be grateful for what you can afford.

Take a deep breath and smile whenever you feel anxious about anything. Life isn’t a race, so take your time to appreciate the things you have — your job, co-workers, friends, and family.

This process of thinking might not be easy for some, but it is not difficult. With patience and continuous practise, we can fully get control over our thoughts and start living a life full of contentment and happiness.

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Jessey Anthony is a motivational speaker, fitness coach and relationship expert who helps people become confident in themselves in any challenges they face in life. Sign up to my newsletter & more cool stuff.

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