Here’s How Kinks Help Build Intimacy With Your Partner

Let's be real: Sex keeps relationships alive.

It’s a human desire that we shouldn’t be ashamed about, and sharing that desire with someone we love keeps us connected in more ways than one. But there’s open aspect to sexual intimacy that’s almost a taboo to talk about — kinks.

You’ve seen jokes and running gags about kinks on the internet. In fact, some people are very loud about their kinks online. But in real life, it’s socially inappropriate to talk about something extremely personal and intimate.

Kinks are defined in the dictionary as strange or unconventional sexual tastes, habits, or behavior.

Indeed — kinks are a topic exclusively reserved for partners. This builds trust and understanding between partners.

As a matter of fact, studies show that couples with kinks are “significantly less likely to report psychological distress”. They are not afraid to speak up when their partner has crossed the line. They are said to be better communicators than couples who do not disclose their kinks.

This claim is further supported by the Department of Clinical Psychology at Tilburg University. It was revealed that couples with kinks are “ less neurotic, more open to new experiences, and less sensitive to rejection”.

But of course, this experience has to be enjoyed by both couples. Otherwise, it would defeat the purpose of intimacy in the first place.

There is more to kinks than just sex. It’s all about communication, honesty, respect, and trust. From there, a couple's bond solidifies and becomes more emotionally intimate.

Is There Something Wrong With You If You Have a Kink?

Kinks are not always a result of some kind of mental health issue. Most people believe so because kinks are unusual to others. But you can’t claim someone is mentally ill just because they like to be blindfolded. You have to properly diagnose them before coming to such conclusions.

Kinks are sometimes out of a desire to satisfy our needs. This entices a curiosity to explore the different ways sexual intimacy can be enjoyed. This is great for people who are looking to make things more interesting in their relationship.

Not that there's anything wrong with having no kinks. Conventional sex is already enough for some couples because their needs have already been met.

Those who haven’t had their needs met are a lot more curious about exploring different kinks. This helps stimulate their arousal for a better and more intimate experience.

Rebecca, a middle-aged suburban mother, shares how she and her husband keep things interesting in the bedroom:

“I love the feeling of helplessness and the inability to escape during sex. So my husband and I experiment with being tied, cuffed, or being entangled in my clothing. As far as I’m aware a lot of women like that as well.”

It’s essential for couples to communicate their desires, even the embarrassing ones. This helps establish boundaries and allows open discussions.

These boundaries can change at any moment. Hence, they have to be consistent at communicating their wants with each other. This is in order to test out how far they can go with their emotional and physical limits.

“Of course, there are times when the experience gets a little bit too real and uncomfortable. I’ve experienced rope burns and scratches, so we’ve learned to use safe words when things get a little too out of hand.” says Rebecca.

Couples who are not honest with each other during bed may find it difficult to reach mutual satisfaction. Hence, it's better to be upfront with your partner with your kinks instead of keeping it in the dark.

Achieving Intimacy through Kinks

Some of the more common kinks regular couples have include:

• Dressing up
• Role play
• Using restraints
• Blindfolding
• Using Aromatics

Of course, some couples are more adventurous than others. What is important is that you both consent and agree on how to enhance your experience in the bedroom.

Intimacy isn’t always about the physical aspect of it. It can be emotional, intellectual, and experiential.

To achieve the ultimate form of intimacy, all 4 aspects of it have to be present. And for some, kinks help them get there. So don’t be ashamed of it — it may be the one thing that can help you liven up your relationship.