Happiness Habits for Relationships

Romance is a means to show your affection, the frosting on the cake. But don't wait for particular occasions to show your affection. Make sure that you nourish your love connection by implementing these essential practices in your day-to-day existence. These may sound quite fundamental, but how many do you practice regularly? Don't despair... it's never too late to acquire excellent, loving behaviors.

Most couples who come to my counseling office because of concerns indicate that their marriage lost its passion long ago. It's simple to feel romantic when you live apart and date each other since every minute spent together is unique. From the minute you begin to live together, such romantic moments are no longer automatic. Instead, most of your time together is spent on more ordinary things: doing laundry, cleaning dishes, paying bills, or going to work. Although this may be fresh, exciting and enjoyable at first, as soon as the initial newness of living together wears off, such ordinary activities stop to seem thrilling and romantic, and you may find yourself feeling scared that your spouse no longer cares as much or is as pleased to be with you.

Developing these positive relationship practices will make a major difference in your happiness.

Good Relationship Habits

1. Don't resist, listen.

We frequently have a knee-jerk negative reaction to what a partner tells us, or wants to do. Instead of reacting negatively, "That won't work... " "It's not possible... " A few more seconds of listening and contemplation may be in order. At any rate, listening and understanding are not the same as agreeing. You and your spouse will have greater communication if your partner knows you care about what he or she has to say.

2. Sweeten things up a notch.

It's inevitable that married life will have its ups and downs. For the sake of our relationship, we'll need to invest some effort in enhancing our mutual sweetness. Your marriage's WD-40 is gratitude, 'thank you's', and little acts of kindness and love. "I love you" should be spoken often throughout the day. Every now and then, sprinkle some sugar on top of everything. How much better you'll feel, and how much more receptive your spouse will be, as a result of taking this supplement.

3. Kisses goodbye and hello are part of the goodbye and greeting process.

While you're at it, give her a big bear embrace. When you're in love, it's important to show your feelings.

4. Your courting conduct should not change.

It's time to go above and beyond what you did when you first started dating... Keep in mind that you two are best friends. Touch each other Your significant other's shoulder, leg, or arm may be softly touched by your hand while you sit nearby. Touch his or her shoulder or arm if you're in the automobile. You'll notice that the tone of your discussion warms up and gets more personal. For those who are struggling or ready to forgive, holding hands and facing each other may assist strengthen your connection and sense of security.

5. Don't worry over the tiniest details.

Or, you may accept and work with his/her flaws... or you can let them drive you crazy to the point of exhaustion. Does she remove the toothpaste's cap before using it? Purchase tubes on their own... He doesn't seem to clean up after himself. Don't worry about it; he takes care of you in many other ways. Set up hampers and clothes trees at the door to make it simpler for your spouse to meet your needs.

6. Keep your focus on the bright side.

Instead of focusing on your partner's flaws, focus on the great qualities that originally attracted you to him or her.

7. When you're enraged, take a moment to calm down.

When you're both upset, don't even bother to discuss. Just take a few minutes to break apart from each other and recharge your batteries. Taking a little pause will help you both to keep on course and avoid making personal attacks that you will later regret.

8. Keep your partner's secrets and vulnerabilities out of your own hands.

To you, it may appear inconsequential, silly, or even funny, but to your spouse, it might be really important. Don't talk about your partner's feelings with your friends, family members, or anybody else! In no way, shape, or form should you respond in kind in an argument. One of the most personal and trusting experiences a person can have is being in a love relationship.

9. Put your partner's needs first.

If both of you do this, you can't fail! Before anything else, keep in mind that you two are partners first and foremost. Keep it in mind and make sure you're operating as partners, not adversaries or avoiders. You're all in this together, and it's all about working together as a team. Whenever feasible, say "yes" to your partner. Take him to a sporting event, take him golfing because he likes it, take him to see her family — anything you can do to make life simpler for him, do the same for him. The key to success is cooperation rather than competition.

10. Be considerate to one another.

Even if you're only kidding, don't disparage your spouse in front of others! When things go wrong, it's easy to fall into the trap of using pessimistic language to describe the situation. Let your love and respect for your mate show through when you speak about them. Listen with a grin on your face, unless your spouse is discussing something really upsetting (such as the loss of a job or the death of a loved one). The conversation will become more emotional as a result of your companion's increased sense of understanding and concern. If you want to show that you are paying attention, don't fix your gaze on one thing for long periods of time.

11. Every day, find a method to come back together and refocus your efforts.

Make a list of things that work well for you and your partner: have dinner together, meet for happy hour drinks, avoid the TV at night and simply lie down in the dark, take a stroll around the block, etc. To keep things interesting, consider varying your routine. Make a late-night phone call to whoever is away from home simply to hear their voice. Daily time spent chatting or breathing the same air together is key to fostering a sense of belonging. No matter how busy you are with your job, kids, and money, you must make time each week to spend with your spouse. To unwind, consider going on a romantic date that includes a "state of the union" chat. Keeping in touch keeps things from spiraling out of control and helps you remember how great you are as a team. Don't forget to show your appreciation for one another. Celebration and gratitude increase motivation, so make the most of your time together to make your marriage the best it can be.

12. Laughter is an option to consider.

A little comedy might help relieve stress while something upsetting is taking place. While leaving a business, you may remark with a smirk, "That went nicely." after an unpleasant encounter. You may also remark, "the gremlins are back," "there's always something," or "it could happen" when someone drops something and causes a snarl. Shared humour is a means of saying "I realize this is difficult, but we'll get through it," rather than making fun of your buddy. You'll be seen by your partner as someone who can be relied upon to provide comfort and support when things go tough.

13. Incorporate a few delightful surprises into your daily routine.

The best way to say "I love you" to your spouse is to surprise him or her with a love note in his or her briefcase, a post-it with a happy face on the bottom of the bathroom toilet seat, a bouquet of flowers, an unplanned embrace, or a kiss on the back.

14. Reminisce over the good times you had in your past.

It's always a good idea to start a discussion with "Remember when..." Remembering how you were when you were dating, getting married, buying your first home, having your first kid, or getting that promotion brings up so many happy memories. It's a good idea to reminisce about your shared past as a means to strengthen your relationship.

15. In your mate's ears, boast about your accomplishments.

While it's important to tell your spouse how much you love and appreciate him or her, it's also important to tell your friends about the wonderful person you married "So much thought has gone into Harold's every move. He lent a hand around the home today." As an alternative, "Sue is a wonderful mother and grandmother. She is able to offer the children a feeling of belonging while keeping them on track." Or, to put it another way, "Surely you heard? Fred was given a significant raise. He's done a great job for me." As an alternative, "Without Judy, I don't know what I'd do. She's an excellent money manager." Or, to put it another way, "Isn't she gorgeous today, isn't she? I'm extremely grateful for all of my good fortune." The fact that your companion is ashamed doesn't mean you should worry about it. When he or she hears it, they'll think of you fondly.

Your relationship will benefit greatly from your efforts! Make love and passion a regular part of your life!