God or no God

I was about seven years old. While my friends were playing dress up and overusing mom’s lipsticks, I was sitting there feeling confused. I was just exposed to a heated family scandal. My grandma was screaming at me saying that I must read the Bible and believe in God, otherwise I will go to hell. On the other hand, my father was whispering in a quiet tone that I am smart enough to know that there is no God. Even though both parties were facing me, I felt they were making a point to each other.

My grandmother was a tall woman with a strong will and a beautiful soul. Her dad, my great grandpa, established the first protestant church in our community. His name was Ivan. He was known for being a hard worker with a big heart and helping hands. He owned a horse and provided taxi service for extra income. Once, he had a female passenger who gifted him a Bible. Ivan read it and fell in love with its powerful story. It touched his heart and mind, and he could not help but share it with others. Considering the change of regimes, from the Tzar to communism, Ivan encountered many difficulties but never gave up. That church is still there, in Ukraine, in a small town called Vasischevo.

My father had the opposite beliefs. He was a member of the communist party and admired the regime. He compared Lenin to Jesus Christ and the USSR constitution to the Bible. My father was an atheist during communism and has remained an atheist after the regime failed. He has always respected science and has taught me the importance of independent thinking. Despite my age, seven, seventeen, or twenty-seven, he always told me: “think for yourself.” Obviously, that phrase ingrained in my brain way too deep. Since then, I have been questioning everything. When I heard that “there are no stupid questions” I gave myself the greenlight to go forward and remove the walls of whom I can ask questions, whether it be a person or God.

Almost forty years later, I still catch myself being confused. While scrolling through cat memes, watching the news, and glancing at people’s comments on social media, I often question why people think certain ways. Especially when it comes to cruelty and injustice. Injustice towards each other and towards other species. What God do we believe in and what political party we follow if we chose to support mistreatment; mainly towards those who are not like us. We choose to look down on those who were born in a country that teaches a religion different than what my grandma thought me. We chose to divide our own kind into groups based on race, ethnicity, political party, types and sub-types of religions, and many more pitiful reasons. If there is a chance, we build a wall.

We separated humankind from the rest of Mother Nature and think that we are above all. We treat animals and plants as if they are here to serve us; acting as human beings are the greatest species on Earth. We walk with confidence, stepping on beautiful flowers, not even noticing their colors. We kill easily; we often kill not to avoid hunger or protect ourselves but because we feel like it. We overuse and misuse the resources this planet gave us and do not consider giving anything back.

I ask myself: how do we create such strong opinions? Do we have any interest in seeing what it looks like being on the other side of the story? Do we feel comfortable asking uncomfortable questions? How can the injustice be justified in our own minds? Are we allowing our point of view to become our strongholds, our own truth? Are we becoming insensitive towards real life, real pain, and the real struggle of others because the lens of our personal perception is so narrow that it makes us blind?

Someone said: “it is not the answer that enlightens but the question.” I want to believe that if we are smart enough to explore the world, outside of our home planet, we can ask intelligent questions on how to choose humanity, equality, and kindness towards everyone and everything; choose peace over destruction; choose life over death. Society consists of individuals. On the individual level, we have the power to turn on our personal lights and make it a better world all together.

Ultimately, humans managed not only to create conflicts but also to resolve them.